


Purple Sky

by AmbitiousSkychild



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: F/M, Flashbacks, Hunk is such a good friend, Lots of Angst, M/M, Mutual Pining, Past and Present, Pidge is fiesty, Pining Keith (Voltron), Pining Lance (Voltron), Secret Relationship, after the Galra Empire has been defeated, keith and lance are so in love, kind of?, lance is The Sweetest boy, lots of fluff, pre-season 3, shiro is just a tired father/brother, the happiest ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-31
Updated: 2017-08-02
Packaged: 2018-12-09 06:25:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 72,454
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11663454
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AmbitiousSkychild/pseuds/AmbitiousSkychild
Summary: Fondly, Keith shook his head. “So,” Keith started, laughter dying down as he leaned over Lance. “Cuba together?”And Lance beamed – outright beamed – up at him as he pulled him down against his chest. “You bet your sweet ass, Cuba together.”Keith, rash as he could often be, understood that his responsibility as a paladin of Voltron was to the universe. So, he understood that despite what they felt, he and Lance couldn't be anything other than paladins, at least until the war was over.After nine years of rivalry, turned pining, turned something just shy of lovers, the war is over. The paladins are headed to Earth, Lance isn't wasting any time, and Keith, as much as he loves a challenge, just tries to keep up.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is my baby - the miserable-birth child that I love unconditionally for the struggle of it, you feel me? This took me like seven months, I don't know how I passed last semester, it's the longest thing I've ever written and finished, please read it and give me feedback! I would love to hear your thoughts!

In a ring of explosion and a cacophony of sound, they took down the Galra Empire.

Later on, they would admit it was nothing short of a miracle – a terror-charged attack invoked by a frenzy that started the moment they approached the Galra ship, still out of formation and Pidge vanished, hidden by her cloaking device, silent to the panicked shouts after her throughout the comms. Keith had an eerie feeling she might have gone AWOL at the chance to jailbreak her father. Then anger came from having no prior knowledge and not even a sliver of a clue currently what her plan was or if she was going to be okay by the end of it.

The Galra ships swarmed them the minute they saw them, smartest to get them before they could form together. Allura tried her best to stay level-headed through the comms, but it was apparent that Pidge’s disappearing act, at the very least, changed some things.

The Galra fleet’s attacks were overly effective marginally due to their numbers and the fact that, without Pidge, they couldn't form Voltron. It hadn’t happened yet, but Keith could see things taking a theatrical swan dive for the worse and that was if Lotor didn't show himself first.

After Allura’s fifth rejected idea through the comms concerning how to handle all this, Hunk chimed in, voice intentionally calm and reassuring. “We gotta go get Pidge.”

Among the immediate sounds of shock or protest, Lance’s frustrated scoff rang out the clearest: “We don't even know where she _is_.” He emitted a low, frustrated growl, as he used his ice ray to freeze a small group of the fleet only for another group to take its place.

“I’ve got a pretty good idea,” Keith admitted lowly, moving to cover Lance with Red’s jaw blade. Matt remaining eerily silent on Allura's end only confirmed his hunch.

“I do, too,” Allura tacked on, still angry, but more understanding in tone.

“Well, regardless of why, we all know she’s on the Galra ship, right?” Hunk asked impatiently. “Which means, now the plan is to free the prisoners and she’s not coming out without her father. We can't just leave her alone in there!”

“What was she _thinking_?” Shiro continued, swooping in to block a shot aimed at Hunk. “She knows we can't form Voltron without her!”

“Let me go in there!” Lance barked out, causing Keith to do a doubletake.

“You want to _what_?” Keith demanded.

“You’re not doing that, Lance,” Shiro decided quickly. “We’ll figure something else out, but having one paladin on the Galra ship in the middle of this is enough!”

Lance huffed. “No, listen, I can do it! Someone has to go in there, we don't know what Pidge’s plan is aside from probably free the prisoners. It can’t be you, Shiro, because you have to control all this and if I leave, you’ll still have Hunk whose lion has a canon.”

It went unsaid that Keith, even after all these years, was a little reckless to go in alone without causing some worry. Massive explosions and ill-thought-out attacks didn't tend to go unnoticed and if he found Pidge, the two of them together would only double their concern. Kolivan and the rest of the Blade were their back-up and needed to stay in their own pods.

“Lance,” Shiro groaned, swerving Black out of the way of an oncoming attack. “I hate to admit it makes sense.”

“What?!” Keith frenzied. “You’re going along with this?!”

“It’s the best plan we have right now,” Shiro answered, stressed. “We need her to come back or it’s not going to end well!”

“Well, he’s not going in there alone,” Keith decided. “I’m going with him.”

“Keith, _no_!” Shiro exclaimed. “We’re not doing this; do you hear me?! Lance will go in, free the captives, grab Pidge and come right back out. Simple!”

“But it’s not, Shiro!” Keith argued. “What if he gets hurt? What if he gets stopped and never gets to look for Pidge? And she’s got her comm off, it’s not like she knows what we’re planning! You said it yourself, we work really well together, so,” he paused. “Let me go with him, or I’m going in instead of him.”

“Or neither of you can go in,” Allura started testily, “and we can think of something else.”

“There _is_ nothing else,” Matt spoke up, moving into view beside Allura. “Lance going in makes sense. And if Keith is going in too, then so am I.”

“Matt, you can’t be serious,” Shiro hissed. “Why does half this team want so badly to be on a Galra ship?!”

“Shiro. She's my sister and that's my dad,” Matt said calmly, evenly. “You know I'll get there whether you allow this or not.”

Keith felt it unanimously with the rest of the crew the moment they knew that Pidge and Matt had planned this.

Allura had the decency to look halfway angry. “Get a pod and go meet Lance and Keith,” she ordered Matt sharply. “Guys when Matt reaches you, send Blue and Red back to the castle ship. We don't want them just flying around in Galra territory.”

“Uh, aye-aye, Princess,” Lance responded, a smirk on his face that Keith knew to mean excitement.

“Yeah,” Keith nodded solemnly.

“Hunk, Shiro, and I will find a way to provide cover for you three,” Allura announced, face stony and determined. “Don't worry about the Galra fleet, we've got you.”

It didn't take long for Matt’s ship to speed out to Blue; Keith watched the whole time, anxious, but ready. An explosion erupted to his left and Keith turned to see Hunk firing his cannon at the Galra fleet, with Shiro sticking close behind.

He looked to Blue who was opening her mouth to let Lance out. He saw Lance look over at him, over at Red as he used his thrusters to get to Matt.

“Are you guys with Matt, yet?” Hunk demanded, voice slightly panicked through the comms. “It takes a while for my cannon to charge up and the explosion is gonna clear soon! How much more cover do you need?”

Yellow was floating meters away beside Black, cannon charging over her shoulder as Black revealed her jaw blades. The Galra fleet had paused in its attacks, frenzied over the explosion, and Keith could see that some of the ships had been hit, but more were still coming, still adamant.

“As much as you can give us,” Lance answered back. Keith saw him looking at him as he made his way from Blue. “We’ve still gotta get to Red.”

“Red,” Keith sighed out, patting the seat under him. “Go back to the castle, okay? Take Blue and don't worry about me.” A deep rumbling filled the cockpit, forcing Keith to chuckle. “Okay, try not to worry _too_ much,” he amended. Unbuckling himself to stand, he adjusted his helmet. “I know what I’m doing. I’ll be fine,” he promised. He felt it rumble throughout the both of them how unsure she was to believe him. It struck up the remorse in him over how unsure he was in telling her.

She opened her mouth and he used his thrusters to jump the vast space between Red and Matt’s fighter ship. Hunk’s cannon caused another explosion that Keith felt rumble through his bones and he pretended not to see Lance’s glare from his seat beside Matt as the ship moved forward to meet Keith halfway.

Matt’s ship approached, and the door unsealed as Keith turned back to see Red still there, still watching him. Keith forced a smile he knew neither of them believed as another explosion rang out. “Go back to the castle,” he reminded her quickly.

Red sent another low rumble. _Mine_.

“I’ll come back to you,” Keith vowed, moving himself quickly into Matt’s ship beside Lance. “You’ll see.” He stared as the doors lowered.

She gave a low whine, then flew off, back to the castle ship alongside Blue as Matt shot the pod forward.

“Good kitty,” Keith sighed, watching her go. Gathering himself, he turned around to face forward, to look at Matt but was instead met with all too familiar angry, blue eyes.

“Keith, what the hell?! Are you trying to die?!” Lance yelled.

“ _What_?!” Keith demanded shrilly. “We didn't have time for me to sit around and wait for you guys to reach me! What the hell else do I have thrusters for?! Hunk would have run out of time!”

“This isn't the time, guys,” Matt said, calm but loud as his voice raised above theirs. “Galra ship coming up, look alive.”

“What’s the plan?” Lance huffed, turning away as Keith rolled his eyes.

“I know where Katie entered,” Matt admitted, speeding the ship along as another explosion rang out behind them. “I know where she probably is, but I don't know how to get there.”

“So, there is no plan,” Keith glared.

“Yeah there is, calm down,” Matt soothed. “We’ll just split up and cover more ground. We can find her easy enough, just follow the broken, bloody Galra bodies along the corridors.”

“This is a shitty time to play fucked-up Hansel and Gretel,” Lance chuckled bitterly, making Keith pause. Even an untrained eye could tell the Blue Paladin was on edge. Lance was ringing his hands together and Keith had always been shit at restraining himself.

They touched down on the Galra ship docking bay, expansive and intimidating in size, but familiar enough not to phase them.

The doors raised and Matt was the first one jumping out of the ship, Keith and Lance not far behind.

“Keep your comms on,” Matt barked, as if that wasn't obvious. “I’m going this way.” He took off sprinting down the nearest hallway to his right.

“Guess we’re going this way, then,” Keith remarked, taking off sprinting down familiar purple-lighted halls in the opposite direction.

Room after room turned up to be of little importance – consisting of Galra too weak or unequipped to aid in the fleet outside. The sentries were on a timer that Keith knew the rhythm of – could remember Shiro counting out the time of to calm himself down sometimes. “You doing okay, Matt?” He whispered into the comms.

“All good, nothing to have a panic attack about,” Matt chuckled weakly. “Yet.”

“Well, you won't,” Lance whispered, keeping his voice calm as they rounded another corner. This set of doors didn't open at movement, but rather had a genetic identifier that required a hand scan. Keith felt Lance watching him as he removed his glove. “We’re gonna find Pidge and get the hell out of dodge–”

Keith looked up, startled at the abrupt end of Lance’s sentence to see that he had ducked to the side, peeking into the newly opened room around the doorway. Lance cast frantic blue eyes on him, then directed them quickly along with a head tilt in the direction of the room. Cautiously, Keith peered around the doorway to see Haggar.

Nearly alone near the helm of the Galra ship, she was wielding quintessence to aid Zarkon, weaponizing it against their teammates just outside. Keith turned back to Lance and shot him a crazed look.

 _This is our chance_.

Lance nodded and Keith began to sneak into the room.

Haggar stood dead center over an opening in the floor, surrounded by four other Galra. They stood, arms outstretched, magic flowing from their fingertips to meet in the middle to be directed down at _something_. Keith thought they could figure out what it was when they weren't in the process of getting it to actively work against them.

Keith crouched low as he slunk along the shadows of the walls and drew his bayard when a blue light whizzed by on his left, followed by Haggar toppling over.

Keith turned back to see Lance crouching in the doorway with his eye still against the lens of his gun. Without a second thought, he shot the other Galra in the room before they could fully turn around.

Keith watched them all fall, made sure they didn't get back up before he turned his attention back to Lance. His hands were shaking now, barely noticeable as he rose to his feet and cleared his throat. His blue eyes wandered the room, traced the walls, circled them and mapped it all out as they remained wide and far away from Keith’s.

“Did you mean to just… do that?” Keith murmured, thinking of the reflexes he knew Lance had. He hadn't even seen him crouch down into his shooting position when they entered the room.

“That was too easy,” Lance answered instead, short and choppy, and when the Galra sentries fled into the room, guns raised and immediately firing, Keith shot him a look for his trouble.

“Of course,” Keith groaned, clenching his bayard tighter as he readied himself. “This is nothing,” he threw out, though whether if it was for Lance’s benefit or his own, he wasn't entirely sure. “We do worse than this every day! We just gotta stay focused.”

Lance nodded and didn't say a word.

Keith tried to keep focused, too. He tried to focus on his surroundings and root himself. Lance was still standing beside him and across the room, Haggar would never stand again. The comms were wild with panic as Shiro barked out orders and Hunk demanded answers. Allura tried her best to map them through it while Matt was still mentally fragile and wandering a Galra ship for Pidge, and Pidge was still–

“ _Guys_ ,” Pidge hissed suddenly, static-y and far away through the comms – casual like this was just another infiltration job. She was okay, though, so Keith swallowed down his anger. “I figured out a–”

“Pidge, what the _fuck_ are you doing?! _Where_ are you?!” Lance snapped before Keith could form the words. Lance activated his shield, ducking a little behind it as he slacked on his shooting. Keith groaned and joined his bayard with his Marmora blade. “Do you have any idea how _pissed off_ I am at you?! We are in the middle of _the final fucking countdown_ and you pull this stunt?! Mother _fucking_ unbelievable, by the way and _Matt_ is–!”

“Well, in addition to that stunt, have another,” Pidge interrupted, loud and impatient. Keith could hear her clacking away through the helmet. “The sentries are down in ten seconds. You’re welcome.”

“What?” Keith puzzled, swinging his blades in two directions. “She can't mean….”

“Pidge!” Lance screamed, frustrated and desperate as he deactivated his shield. He aimed a shot directly behind Keith that landed so well it seared through one sentry and struck another. “Pidge! _Pidge_!”

Keith saw Lance gear up to make another shot just as everything stopped. No longer stuck struggling in the center of a sea of chaotic motion, they stood shocked as everything froze, the sentries dropping jerkily into droopier versions of fighting stances before shutting down and tipping over onto the floor.

Angry and confused, Keith sheathed his weapons as he kicked one. There was no response other than the clanging of metal against his suit. “Damn, Pidge,” he uttered quietly. “Our girl kicks ass.”

“I’m gonna kick _her_ ass,” Lance hissed, grabbing Keith and pulling him along out of the room. “If she lives,” he lamented, face ten kinds of stressed, blue eyes wide with terror. “ _Pidge_!” He yelled into the comms.

“Lance!” Keith called. He reached ahead of him to grab the Blue Paladin by the arm and pulled them to a stop, pushing his hands onto the other’s shoulders. He knew they didn't have time for this, knew it was dumb and careless, but seeing Lance like this felt worse than any reckless decision he could make. “You know she can't hear us. She turned off her comm,” Keith said softly. “But she’ll be okay. Right?”

Blue eyes trailed the ceiling and the walls around him, but never lowered to meet his gaze.

“Right?” Keith pressed.

“That doesn't stop me worrying,” Lance explained. He grabbed Keith, quicker about forging their way through the labyrinthine Galra ship corridors. Keith kept a vigilant eye on their surroundings as Lance rounded corner after corner. “She ran off and didn't tell anyone where she is or what she’s doing! She just thinks she can do whatever she wants, even at a time like this! She could get killed!”

“So could any of us, if we keep losing focus like this over it,” Keith stressed, levelling him a weighted look. He switched his helmet to cover his full face and made sure Lance did the same as they stepped out onto the ship bay.

Lance gave him a hard look in return, meeting him with blue eyes filled with terror and hope and justice and honor and a thousand other too-strong, too-scary emotions. “Yeah,” Lance sighed, gaze unwavering as he held Keith’s, expression turning pointed. “Don't remind me.”

The comms buzzed to life before Keith could figure it out, Matt being the first one to scream into it. “Guys, I’ve got Katie! We got the prisoners and our dad!”

“What?” Shiro yelled in response. “How’s Pidge?!”

“I’ve got her!” Matt repeated. “She and Dad are crying, but I’m moving them and the other prisoners to the ship bay and she’s gonna call Green!”

“Have you got it covered?” Allura demanded, voice strong and a little panicked.

“Yeah!” Matt answered. “We’ll call Green and Katie will come back while Dad and I use my pod to bring the prisoners back to the ship,” he explained quickly and out of breath.

Allura sighed in relief. “Great! Alright, then in that case–”

“I’m sorry, guys,” Pidge interupted, voice watery and happy as it trembled. “For just running off like that. It was just something I had to do. I knew I was so close and I had to take my chance.”

“You can apologize after,” Keith grunted, “Let’s just work on making it out of this alive.”

“Glad you found your dad, Pidge,” Lance commented just as Keith noticed – with somewhat amused disbelief – Red speeding at them from the distance.

She came to collect him even before Keith could wonder where she was, not that Keith was surprised in the slightest. Red would always come for him, would always listen for him. She was the second most reliable being in his life.

Blue wasn't far behind in reaching them.

Keith saw Lance’s eyes go wide with the type of joy he only ever got from flying with Blue. He saw his lips quirk up at the sides and thought he must look the same, happy that they were pulling this off.

Red gave a loud rumble full of worry and relief as Keith started to sprint toward her, apologetic smile in place when he felt a tug at his wrist. Keith turned back to see the Blue Paladin’s smile go from elated to reassuring. “Hey. Keith.”

Said Paladin relaxed his posture at the tone, turned fully to face him and gave an expectant nod.

“I think we’re gonna finish this,” he said cautiously, like he was afraid to jinx it. “It’s all going to be done after today, and then,” he trailed off.

A few silent moments stretched out – silent moments they didn't have time for, but moments Keith wasn't brave enough to fill. “And then?” Keith pressed, concerned about the mixture of happy-scared roiling around inside him.

Lance’s smile broadened a little the longer he stared. “The future.” His smile turned lopsided for a second, then he was running off toward Blue.

The future had never been something Keith allowed himself to think about, not when everything had always been so uncertain and everything Keith had thought he wanted was tossed up in the air. It wasn't ever something he thought he’d be able to experience.

It was close now. As close as Red and Blue – close as Lance had just been. Lance had never been bogged down with the fear of not knowing. Soon, maybe, possibly, Keith would know what that was like.

“The future,” Keith nodded to himself, allowing Red to scoop him up.

Red let out a slow growl that rumbled through the floors as Keith got situated in his seat. He felt Red embracing his mind when he took his seat, her thoughts a tidal wave of worries and concerns and frenzied assumed losses.

“I promised you,” Keith smirked, petting the control board. “And yet, you doubted me.”

There was a sharp twinge of amused annoyance for his snark.

“Don't come back just yet, you two,” Allura started uncertainly, face worried on his screen. Her lips set in a deep frown. “The Galra fleet is retreating.”

“We’re on it!” Shiro announced. “There are only so many retreating. Most of the ships are just malfunctioning. They’re dropping or... exploding.”

“ _What_?” Lance demanded.

“Guys, do you hear that screaming?” Pidge demanded next.

“What screaming?” Keith barked.

“Listen.” Then Pidge must have removed her helmet to accommodate the roar of tortured shouting that flooded the comms.

Keith flinched, felt his stomach coil at the sound. “What’s…” his voice trailed off as he tried to understand what he was hearing. “What’s happening?”

“I think it’s just the Galra,” Pidge puzzled. “I mean, it’s the thousands of voices of everyone on this ship who isn't us, it’s…. Something is happening to the Galra. I don't understand what triggered it.”

“We killed Haggar,” Lance piped up suddenly. Keith looked to Blue as if it would let him see Lance.

“ _Lance_ killed Haggar,” Keith corrected quickly, out of habit.

“Well, _fuck_ , were you going to tell us?!” Pidge exclaimed. “You took out Haggar, that means we were right!”

“Of course!” Coran chimed in, voice sounding a mixture of relieved and concerned. “So, she _was_ the mastermind! We’ve been destroying their quintessence for years with what was barely any pay-off because the only reason they’ve made it this long is because of her!”

“I mean, of course, we always knew she was powerful,” Allura mused, “but to find out that Lotor, and even Zarkon before him, were nothing more than figureheads is,” the sentence trailed off, the sentiment being easier to understand than to express.

“They don't have anyone to wield what little quintessence they have left!”

“If they have any,” Allura chimed in. “We’ve taken out so much of it. They really can’t have had that much left, and if they did, they would have been using it for this battle, I’m sure.”

“So, we took out the _battery_?” Pidge scoffed. “ _Bullshittingly_ simple, Jesus Christ, it was so easy I never truly considered that was all we’d have to do! Thought she would at least be the very last step, _fuck_.” She scoffed and they heard her skid and hit a wall. “Matt!” She called through the comms. “You’re back at the castleship with Dad and the prisoners, right?”

“Yeah, Dad’s here,” Matt responded quickly. “We’re all here.”

“Good,” Pidge sighed. “Everyone’s safe, so I’m going back in to see what all this is. Lance and Keith, you’re coming too, right?”

Keith was already exiting Red when Lance answered an affirmative.

“Lotor is in there somewhere,” Allura agreed solemnly. “So be careful. There could be survivors and those who wish to surrender.” It went unsaid that no one was expecting too much of that.

The Galra ship was now offline. Keith could feel it when he walked that the ship was no longer being piloted but simply floating lifelessly in the atmosphere around them. Darkness greeted them once back inside, disconcertingly ominous coupled with the tortured shouting that lured them back.

The screaming continued, growing louder and louder until it came to a very abrupt, startling halt. Lance picked up his pace beside Keith down the corridors.

Pidge gasped and Keith felt Lance pick up speed to a run beside him, rushing to find her even though they had no clue where she was. “What’s wrong?” Lance asked, still keeping his voice low.

“It was keeping them young,” Pidge answered. “They were hundreds and hundreds of years old, but not kept cryogenically alive like Allura and Coran. Obviously,” she babbled. “But I think when Haggar died, so did all the quintessence she was using to keep them alive and they just _deteriorated_. Turned to fucking dust and ash and it’s really disturbing to look at.”

“Yeah, I see what you mean,” Keith muttered, coming across their first downed suit of armor, a trail of dust and ash flung across the floor.

Lance grimaced. “It’s nasty, is what it is.”

Keith shot him an unimpressed look. “Are you seeing any survivors?” Keith asked Pidge.

“None,” Pidge answered, “but I’m making my way around. We need to find wherever the royal chambers would be. Or even a command deck on this ship. That’s where Lotor would be.”

“How are you guys doing out there, Hunk?” Lance asked.

“Pretty much handled all the escapees,” Hunk answered proudly. “Shiro’s handling the last one now. No more Galra fleet. Kolivan is coming to you.”

“I can't believe it,” Allura murmured, voice astounded.

No one else uttered a word, letting a moment encase them that Allura needed to have more than any of them. Pidge uttered a small confirmation when she found Lotor’s remains, strewn across the main command deck, surrounded by the remains of several other Galra soldiers.

Hunk and Shiro touched down with the Marmorites on the Galra ship to help them search, their findings, from the opposite end of the ship, being much more disturbing.

“They died for the regime,” Shiro’s voice explained, quiet and heavy over the comms. “We haven't seen any of the deteriorated bodies. Just… dead bodies. I think they… ended it when they knew what happened to Haggar.” Keith felt it like a fresh, gaping wound that the species he was a part of chose to die rather than to surrender.

“It was their duty,” Kolivan confirmed, almost mournfully.

“And you guys are fine?” Keith checked.

“It would have only affected the ones using quintessence the way the Empire was,” Matt reminded him. “The rebels never used it for themselves.”

“Right,” Lance nodded, watching Keith closely.

Keith did little more than nod, but somehow it all still made his chest ache. “Sure.” He felt Lance step a little closer as they continued their macabre trek through silent, dust-covered corridors.

Once it was verified that the ship was cleared of any Galra threat, Pidge insisted on getting to Haggar’s remains, wanting to see for herself that there truly was no more quintessence. While Shiro and Hunk joined Pidge, Keith and Lance found their way to where Keith remembered all their quintessence to be stored. They found the room to be completely empty.

Lance stopped beside him. “ _Wow_. Haggar is dead. And Lotor is toast. And their quintessence is totally gone and all of us survived and we didn't even have to form Voltron,” he awed, voice gaining strength as he spoke. He turned wide, crazed eyes onto Keith who couldn't look away, couldn’t stop the grin splitting his face. “We had no fucking clue what we were doing today. Pidge fucking ran off, we probably should have _died._ ”

It hit Keith like a tidal wave then, the obvious, but incredible realization that they didn't have to fight the Galra anymore. That from here on out, their defending of the universe would be much more small-scale. They’d earned the freedom to… focus on other things.

“Holy _shit_!” Lance crowed, throwing his head back and all but howling at the sky above. His face was turned up, but Keith knew for a fact that he was beaming. “ _Holy shit_! We really fucking did it?! We pulled this out of our _asses_ , but we did it!” He screamed, turning his eyes back down onto Keith as he let a slow, blinding smile loose. “It’s done.”

Keith felt himself smile back, uncertain, but serene. They had _themselves_ back. They had the opportunity to dedicate their time and efforts to anything they could possibly conjure up. To think about the future.

“Everyone wanna head back?” Shiro’s voice came through the comms, triumphant and steady. “I could sleep for ten years.”

“You’re so old, _Dad_ ,” Lance scoffed, casting one last glance around the room before turning to leave it, Keith on his trail. “The rest of us are going to celebrate.”

“There’s nothing that’s not celebratory about sleep,” Shiro deadpanned.

“I’m gonna make us a _feast_ tonight, so we probably will be sleeping for a few days,” Hunk chimed in with a warm chuckle.

“Come on, guys, come _on_!” Pidge exclaimed, voice shrill and overexcited. Keith heard every sound to convince him that she was actively shoving the other two along. “I want to see my dad!”

Chuckling, Lance broke into a run, glancing back to grin at Keith. “You heard the little lady.”

“I’ll show you little,” Pidge muttered back through the comms.

A thought struck Keith as Lance went back to cheering, and Keith couldn’t hold it in. “You can probably see your family, too, now,” he realized, turning his head to see the Blue Paladin’s face.

Lance continued to run and a smile stretched along his face that reached his eyes but didn't quite make them shine. He didn't say anything.

*

Keith remembered the first time he met everyone. He kept each memory separate and individual in his mind, the way each meeting had happened.

Shiro had held him as a baby longer than their own father had. He didn't remember his mother, but Shiro’s mother had been there to care for him while their father was off missing. And when their father fucked off and made no effort to see either of them aside from very special occasions (which he fully expected to be treated as such, even though they were really just incredibly awkward and dug the wounds deeper and deeper until he left, then deeper still), Shiro took Keith under his wing, acting as more of a father than a brother.

He followed Shiro into the Garrison. It didn't surprise either of them – Keith had always looked up to him, had always followed in his footsteps, but this time, it was more than that. It was something Keith had really been passionate about. Shiro, very vocally, couldn't have been prouder.

His first day there, in astrophysics class, was where he met McClain. Their professor led them right into an in-class discussion, Keith had made a good point – he knew it was, he knew his shit – and shut McClain down. After class, it looked like McClain might have wanted to have words with him, so he ignored the bait and from then on, the kid had been a very insistent and very loud pain in his _ass_.

Which led to his much later meeting of Hunk. McClain had been glaring fire and damnation at him and all he’d been doing was walking down the hall. By this point, Keith was good at pretending he didn't see him, didn't hear him when he muttered: “Mullet,” in passing, didn't want to reach his hands up to hide his hair from him.

Keith initially hadn't paid any mind to the tall, broad, earth-skinned guy beside him up until the point when he asked quietly, but not quietly enough: “Is that him?” as Keith walked past them.

He heard McClain’s muttered affirmation from behind him and picked up his pace when the other boy called out to him. He couldn't explain why he stopped. “You’re Keith, right?”

“Uh. Yeah.” He answered, short and simple, ready for the ridicule, or the brawl, or to just take off running.

“Good,” the guy said in a relieved sigh that managed to relax Keith as well. “I’m Hunk. That idiot is my best friend,” he paused to point back at said idiot who started and interjected a vehement _hey_! Hunk turned his attention back to Keith. “And I’m really sorry about him.”

“What?” Keith asked slowly.

“I know he’s an asshat to you. His heart’s in the right place, but he’s really not as smooth as he thinks,” he said lower, closer to a whisper.

And all Keith could think was that the damage had already been done; if asshat over there wanted a war, he got one. But as he looked over Hunk’s shoulder at McClain who was indignantly demanding to know what Hunk was whispering to him about, Keith thought that in another life, maybe they could have been friends.

McClain didn't change after that day. If anything, he became even more obnoxious, even more of a thorn in his side. There was simply a different lens to it now. Rather than the haughty and confrontational vibe McClain had given off before, now it felt harmless, and almost playful.

It made Keith want to crush him.

Pidge didn't come along until after he’d been booted from the Garrison, turned his mind onto heavier things. It was a whirlwind, finding himself back near the Garrison after a year only to be met with Shiro after months of thinking he was dead. Couple that with Hunk and _McClain_ of all people and Keith could have screamed. It was simple to tell McClain he didn't remember him when he truly wished he didn't, and once the initial shock over that died down, there was Pidge, who was irrelevant and in the background until she wasn't.

Pidge who had wanted to _leave_ the closest thing he had had to a team in so long just because of her family. It was something he hadn't been able to wrap his mind around at the time because he had never considered Shiro to be his _family_. Family lied and left each other behind. Shiro was every important thing in his life.

It would take time for Keith to realize that leaving the Garrison for Shiro was exactly what Pidge had been trying to do by trying to leave Voltron. Once they’d reached that understanding with each other, Pidge turned out to be a very formidable ally against the rest of the team when needed – namely food fights.

Meeting Allura was when it all came crashing down on him that this was _weird_. Blue had been crazy and the wormhole was unreal and Shiro having a fucking metal arm had been traumatizing but Allura was _a real-life fucking alien_ talking shit on McClain’s _ears_ and Keith thought that if this was the direction his life was taking now, then at the expense of McClain’s ears, he could swing it.

Coran was batshit and there was no way around that. Lovable, but batshit and he made the whole these-alien-lion-machines-come-together-to-form-one-giant-mech-and-you’re-stuck-here-until-we-defeat-an-evil-damn-near-immortal-tyranny business a lot easier to swallow. He clearly favored McClain, though, which definitely took some points off. The fact that anyone could find him to be halfway likeable was something Keith initially didn't want to face, at least not at the time.

It wouldn't be for another few months that he officially met Lance _._ He first saw Lance when they were on the Balmera, side-by-side and a surprising force to be reckoned with. He took a gamble then that the seven of them as a team – the five of them as Voltron along with _this_ Blue Paladin could really grow to be unstoppable. He took a gamble then that he could do this if he had Lance on his team.

A gamble that would exponentially pay off.

*

Roughly one minute after the paladins made it back to the castleship, seconds after docking the lions in their hangars, moments after climbing down and getting their feet back onto familiar floors, it all truly set in.

Pidge took off out of her hangar, headed for her father and Matt, Shiro right behind her. Keith felt Lance’s gaze and turned to face him when Hunk barreled into them, ushering them along. “Come on!” He shouted, charging full speed ahead. Lance shrugged, emitted a low peal of laughter that made Keith join in as they ran ahead to the control room.

Lance was yelling and shouting at the top of his lungs a mixture of English and literal unintelligible nonsense that made Keith want to cover his ears but the jumbling inside him was just as excited, just as loud, just as _happy_. Lance nudged him, jostling him since he couldn't stop moving. He gave Keith his widest grin, mouth split so wide Keith could count his teeth if he wanted.

“Guys, get in here!” Hunk shouted. He reached out, dropped heavy hands onto their shoulders as he steered everyone together until they were one large, emotionally-charged conglomerate of limbs. Just this once, Keith didn't mind being huddled like this, squished right up between Pidge and Coran, nearly forced into Lance and Hunk’s faces.

“I’m glad we all made it,” Shiro sighed in relief. Keith felt him squeeze down harder on his shoulder. “I can't believe we all made it.”

“Thanks to Lance, right?” Hunk added, the smile obvious in his voice, though Keith couldn't move his head enough to see him. “Took the single shot that saved the entire universe like it meant nothing to him,” he chuckled.

“Our sharpshooter,” Keith murmured, locking eyes with him over Pidge’s shoulder.

Lance positively _beamed_ , then he shook his head, as if dispelling that notion for later. “I wish we had known that sooner!” He turned piercing blue eyes and a teasing grin down onto their smallest paladin. “ _Pidge_.”

“ _Hey_! Like I said, I thought, at most, she’d be the last step in a long series of work and planning, and _pain_ , not that we’d take her out and the whole operation would go down with her!” Pidge exclaimed, sounding amused. “Besides, I had some other things on my mind, right? Trying to locate my fucking family, thank you very much.”

Keith felt her elbow then – small and _pointy –_ jab him in the ribs and he was sure she inadvertently assaulted just about everyone else as she scurried out from between them all, causing the embrace to disband.

“Wait,” Matt spoke up suddenly, “so what’s the plan about the prisoners?”

“We’re going to take them back to their home planets,” Allura responded as Kolivan nodded beside her. “The good news is that if their planets had been overrun by the Galra before, it isn't any longer. We’ve got them in the cryopods for now, but once they wake up, we can begin delivering them back to their families.”

 _Families_. Keith felt a pang in his chest at the word.

He looked at the faces of each of them, each of these people that dropped into his life and became his very best friends, the people he cared about most in the universe. He looked at the relief in their eyes and the joy in their smiles and knew he could finally rest easy – he no longer had to worry about any of them being ripped away from him.

“Well, Allura,” Lance drawled out, blue eyes jumping from face to face, then landing on Keith’s. Keith drummed his fingers against his thigh. “I would say your father and Altea have successfully been avenged.”

“Finally,” Allura sighed, face turning resolved. “Thank you all, for staying here with Coran and me. I know you didn't have to, and you did it anyway to fight in a war that wasn't even yours. You all have been the bravest paladins I’ve ever had the privilege to work with. To become friends with,” she amended, face going warm with a grateful smile. “I can never thank you enough.”

Coran chimed in with an understanding grin and chuckle, “That’s a bit of an understatement.”

“You don't need to thank us, Princess,” Shiro said quickly and reassuringly. “We did it because it’s the right thing to do.” It didn't slip by Keith’s notice when Shiro took a step a little closer to the princess. “No need to repay us.”

“No, no, wait, hold up, hold on there,” Hunk chimed in, bold, but hesitant. “Do you think, now that this is all over, that there’s a chance we could go home?”

“Yeah,” Lance chimed in on a sigh, a tad louder than he probably meant to, and Keith couldn't unhear it.

“You just saved the entire galaxy and brought justice to my home planet along with many, many others – you think you have to ask my permission to go home?” Allura smiled softly, though there was something off in her eyes as she turned them onto Shiro. “I would say you’ve earned it.”

“Really?” Hunk checked. “We… can really go _home_?”

“For how long?” Lance asked.

“We can discuss the logistics of it all later,” Coran decided, after a long look at the Blue Paladin’s face. “For now, let’s all just rest. You’ve all done so much, it’s about time you finally didn't have to worry about anything for a while.”

“Okay, maybe it’s because this has been a nine-year deal,” Lance started, “but is there any way we can officially, like, do some kind of scan to make sure the Galra are really _done_ , done?”

“They’re toast, Lance,” Hunk supplied, nice and apparently far too easy-going for the Blue Paladin’s liking. “Coran’s right, let’s just take it easy for now.”

“But are we _sure_?” Lance shook his head, remaining adamant as Hunk groaned. Pidge frowned.

“We saw them all either lying dead or disintegrated into _dust_ ,” she reminded him, half amused, half annoyed. “Can't that tide you over for at least a few days while we catch a fucking breath?”

“I don't want to be caught off-guard by anything,” Lance insisted.

It was hard to wrap their minds around. It was different for Keith – for all of them – to think anything and not also be thinking, at their back of their minds, about the Galra. It was surreal to be standing on the castleship knowing that the threat was handled and that at least for now, the universe didn't need them.

Keith understood that it was hard to be told to suddenly come down from that – from being needed and always poised and ready for things to get urgent. Maybe it should have been _him_ demanding to know of ways to be sure of the eradication of the Galra threat. Perhaps under different circumstances, it would have been, but at this moment, he didn't have it in him. At this moment, he wanted to slow down, wanted to memorize this _feeling_.

The feeling of doing something so good, it couldn't be cancelled out by a million wrongs. The feeling that an entire life of pain and suffering did nothing to quell the obvious truth that now, he _meant_ something. To the galaxy, and Red, and everyone here. The feeling that going home, back to Earth, wasn’t quite so daunting when, for once, the world owed _him_ something.

*

Lance was the most obnoxious next-door neighbor Keith had ever had, and he’d had a lot.

The walls were thin and Lance was loud and hated Keith. And he was extroverted and _hated Keith,_ and musical in the mornings and _hated_ Keith, and even musical at _night_ and he _hated Keith_. He stomped around and whined for Hunk and yawned loudly because he was expressive like that and _he hated Keith,_ so _of-fucking-course_ their rooms were right next to each other.

He slept in their first couple mornings there. He didn’t answer when Keith threw his shoe against the wall to stop the snoring, he didn’t answer when Keith knocked, and when Keith forced his way inside, he found out why: earplugs. _Still_. Even after the fiasco that was Allura’s crazy system-testing.

“Lance,” Keith grunted, nudging at Lance’s arm thrown over his face. In response, the Blue Paladin mumbled something unintelligible and tried to turn over. With quick reflexes, Keith caught him and nudged him again. “ _Lance_ , come on! You’re late! You have to get up or Allura’s gonna kill you!”

“Oh, my _God_ ,” Lance groaned, dramatic, and whiny, and drawn out. Hesitantly, he cracked an eye open, the blue of his pupil unfocused and unsettling as it landed on Keith’s face. “Huh,” he murmured sleepily, blinking slowly and visibly trying to make sense of his surroundings, then he was very suddenly alert, yanking his earbuds out of his ears as his gaze focused, turned accusatory. He jerked up into a sitting position, scrambled as far away on his bed as he could until he hit the wall. “What the fuck are _you_ doing in here?”

“Holy shit, I’m not trying to hurt you or anything!” Keith hissed out, annoyed already at the sight of Lance’s suspicious glare. “I’m just trying to help you not get your ass kicked by Allura in front of everyone this morning.”

“Why?” Lance demanded defensively. Petulantly, he kicked his way out of bed around Keith and stalked to his closet. With Lance wearing the pajamas already on the ship, only one outfit was in there, just like in all of their closets. “Because you’re so perfect? Been up for hours training or some shit?” Hastily, he shrugged off the long, blue tunic as Keith scoffed and stared at his shoes. “Working hard to become an even testier, more unbearable Red Paladin?” he sneered. “Well thanks for the help, but I didn’t ask. Go play Most-Likely-to-Succeed with someone else.”

“Fine,” Keith growled out, keeping his balled-up fists at his sides as he stalked toward the door. “Be late every day until Allura kills you, _fine_. See if I care.”

His anger did a lot for him most the time. Like in this particular instance: hiding from everyone, even himself for a while, how much what Lance had said actually hurt him. He would probably never understand what he did to make Lance hate him so much. For a while, back at the Garrison, after Hunk had tried to make his case, it seemed like maybe they had just gotten off on the wrong foot with each other, and Keith had been okay with that. He thought they both were.

But here they were, lightyears and lightyears away from earth and anything they knew and Lance insisted on _hating_ him, way out here, like it was his number one priority on top of _everything else they were all dealing_ with and Keith….

He would never admit it aloud, but he was hurt by it.

He’d had people be indifferent to him before. That had been happening his whole life. And not just regularly indifferent – startlingly indifferent. Indifferent to an unhealthy extent and he’d handled that like a champ, but this was another animal entirely.

He didn’t know how to fix this. He didn’t know if he could.

After that, Hunk conveniently began checking on Lance in the mornings and Keith tried his best to lounge around a little longer in the mornings to no avail. He was too restless. He had to be moving.

Shiro was understanding, at first, of Keith’s annoyance, of the injustice he felt. He let Keith fight him one-on-one again and again until he sweat the anger out like poison. He kept track of how often Keith fought the bots, knowing Keith would fight himself into a coma if he could.

He trained, and he trained, and he trained until he had _control_.

Then, Sendak stormed the castle and that all unraveled. Lance got himself knocked out trying to save Coran, and he was vulnerable, so vulnerable, when Keith was able to get a look at him. He sat there, slumped against Shiro, unconscious and small and defenseless against absolutely everything going on around them.

Then he wasn’t.

Then he was awake – just awake enough – to fire one off uninhibited at Sendak as he loomed over Pidge. Just awake enough to shoot him that look, that smirk, that gleam, that _fire_ in his eyes, because even unconsciousness wouldn’t stop Lance McClain.

Lance McClain was weak and immobile on the cold, hard ground and Keith couldn’t keep his distance from the _fire_ in him. He lent his hand to help Lance up, but found he didn’t mind being pulled down, not if it meant Lance McClain would tell him that they made a good team and smile at him like _that_.

Then he was out again. Like it never happened. But Keith knew better. He couldn’t unsee it. He couldn’t shut his eyes without _seeing_ it and he waited, so impatiently for two days outside the cryopod while Lance’s broken body healed because things were going to be different now.

And they certainly were. Keith couldn’t remember feeling a disappointment quite like Lance telling him that it had never happened. He was wrong, it turned out. The real disappointment came afterwards, when Lance topped it all off by deciding it was more important to moon after Nyma, a girl he had just _met_ – _fuck_ his bonding moment with Keith – than it was to stand united with his team.

Not that Keith didn’t understand at least a little of it – the whole taking-too-nicely-a-shine-to-a-damn-near-perfect-stranger thing. Rolo was nice. And smart. And he wasn’t Lance, which somehow made him that much more appealing, and he wasn’t mooning over Nyma. Rolo was, for once, something that had nothing at all to do with the Blue Paladin.

He would later come to realize that Rolo had _everything_ to do with him, but denial was a thick fog when it wanted to be and Keith was willing to let it be just that – a thick fog covering everything he didn’t want to face. Everything he couldn’t handle.

When Nyma turned out to have double-crossed Lance, Keith was alarmed to find that he didn’t feel as justified as he thought he would. He felt a dark, ugly _how’s that taste?_ coiling and burning in his gut for all of five seconds before it lowered in heat and venom and temperature into something more _affronted_.

Something more vengeful.

Hunk was off ranting about how he was right, and if Keith was honest, he just wanted to rant and rave, too. Lance was somewhere stranded alone God knows where without Blue, and Nyma was off free, probably meeting up with Rolo to laugh about it, and Team Voltron was little more than a handful of strangers tasked to work together when one of them – a total idiot without the slightest inkling of teamwork or loyalty and that was coming from _him_ – was off _missing_ somewhere over a slim shot at alien tail and Keith could scream, but he’d have to wait.

They had to get Blue back and half of Keith wanted to refuse just to spite Lance. They raced after Rolo and Nyma up until the point that they slipped into an asteroid belt and it turned out Keith was the only one who could do anything about it. If there was one good thing to come out of all of it, it was flying – _really flying_ – through the belt with Red, pushing until he caught them. _He_ caught them. He thought, just underneath the elation of a job well-done, that he was full of shit. Lance denied him their bonding moment, but had no problem making time to nearly fuck them all over for a stranger. He could see now that it was a compulsive need to compensate for it, on top of Shiro’s order, that made him race after Blue like that so Lance would have to _thank_ him for something.

He didn’t have it in him to feel bad about it.

He gave an elated yell, then spoke into the comms, “Hey Lance, I got your lion back.”

“Thank you, Keith,” he replied immediately. “Now can you come and unchain me?”

“What’s that?” Keith asked, half amused, half taunting. “I, uh – y-you’re cutting out, I can’t hear you.”

“Oh, come on!” Lance whined, “I thought we bonded!”

Keith’s mouth snapped shut before he could think to do so. Did Lance really remember or was he just mocking him again?

“Keith?” Lance squeaked, when Keith didn’t respond. “Buddy?” he pressed urgently. “My man?”

Keith shook his head and kept his mouth clamped shut.

Going to get Lance was uncharacteristically awkward. Hunk was determined to stick with Nyma and Rolo until they had everything in order to leave. Allura and Shiro also thought it best to stay with their apprehended criminals, leaving Keith and Pidge to handle Lance.

Seeing him made the ugly, dark _how’s that taste_ refill the expanse of his chest. There he was, indestructible Lance McClain, stronger than a bomb and a coma combined, but easily surmounted by a pretty girl with handcuffs. Memory selective enough to recall a supposedly alleged bonding moment when and if it suited him.

He seemed prepared for Keith to come get him, somehow. Like out of everyone who would want to come retrieve him, he expected the only one who wouldn’t. He cast a glance of suspicion on Pidge, however. Like he had expected Keith to be alone.

Despite everything angry and spurned in him, he decided not to mention the bonding moment. He didn’t think he could take it if Lance looked him in the eye and told him with honest-to-God conviction that it never happened, again. Lance speaking to him, speech slurred and hardly discernible, surrounded by a purple glow, as he opened his mouth and told him they made a good team, then unhinged a _tidal_ _wave_ of true and total honesty Keith never thought he’d hear from the Blue Paladin was something he could keep to himself.

He would have to. He knew it had been too good to be true anyway.

Again, Shiro was understanding of Keith’s annoyance as they took off for their next mission. He let Keith fight him and the bots for the next few days if it meant he wouldn’t take his frustration out on anyone else, until enough was enough.

They had reached the Balmera, Keith was teamed with Lance, and Shiro conveniently wouldn’t look at him.

Lance wouldn’t either until their only means of communication zeroed down to eye contact and hand signals. Then something amazing happened, being that it _fucking worked_. On top of Lance, oddly enough, actually having good and plausible ideas, the two of them together _worked_.

Keith hated to admit that the best part was Lance looking as pleasantly surprised as he was.

This Lance McClain was nothing like the boy of a day ago. The one who nearly lost Blue and cost them everything. This Lance McClain was driven and focused and creative. Keith wondered if this was his way of making things up to them. He still stared into the daunting face of a Galra trap mourning the loss of a hero’s parade, still smacked Blue into a beam while bragging, but he was… solid. And dependable. Lance, but better.

Keith thought he could do this. He could do this saving the galaxy thing if it was with _this_ Lance.

He survived a thoughtful trip back to the castleship before Lance caught him as they were leaving the hangar. “Hey! Keith!”

Keith whipped around at the sound of his voice. “What?” Keith demanded, voice out of his mouth before he could control the tone.

“Hey, hey, I come in peace,” Lance smiled meekly down at him, hands raised at chest level in surrender. “I wanted to say something back on the Balmera, but we were a little busy, and then the ride back, everyone else was talking, but I–”

Keith shook his head fondly before he could stop it. “Spit it out,” he snapped, less snappy than he realized. He was used to Lance talking, but totally unused to Lance _rambling_.

“Right – _shit_. Look, just. Nice job back there, okay?” Lance managed a sheepish smile. “Turns out we work really well together, and I mean, I won’t lie. I was really cool, but you were, too.” He quickly dropped his gaze as his face became entirely too open. “And I mean…. If it came down to it, I wouldn’t mind being paired up with you again.”

Keith didn’t want to smile, didn’t want to give him the satisfaction now that the roles were kind of reversed, but something about the honesty and the hope in Lance’s eyes didn’t give him a choice. “Yeah, me too.”

Lance smiled wide and nodded once and Keith clutched down on whatever was trying to grow in his chest.

*

For the next six or seven vargas, while Sam and Matt Holt opted to stay on the castle ship thinking of ways to make the wormhole teleporter operate faster, the paladins had to endure loud celebration after city party after grandiose parade with the return of each prisoner to their home planet. Keith used the word “endure” very loosely. In the beginning, it was kind of fun. Nine years and Keith had never gotten totally used to people looking at him like he was someone worthy of seeing, rather than some delinquent who would probably rob them blind.

It wasn't all bad. Not with Lance screaming, “I’m Lance, the Blue Paladin! Right leg of Voltron! Remember it!” at each planet’s enamored citizens with that wide grin on his face meant anything. He yelled it out to a wide sea of bodies with eyes gleaming in awestruck wonder as the paladins moved to board the lions. He was like a rockstar gearing up to perform a stage dive.

Ludah was the first planet they’d visited. They were able to reach it in no time. Jaxil, the Galra captive they were returning home, cried heavily as he brought them to meet his Queen. The queen had arranged a parade for them the moment she heard word from Allura that they were coming.

The people of Ludah were mostly all entirely blue, but a few had purple spots. They were tall, with large rectangular pupils, like a goat’s, and wide, open smiles full of dull herbivore teeth. They walked on two legs, but operated with six vine-like arms. When Jaxil and his mate made eye contact, she ran at him with all arms flailing until she could wind two of them tightly around him while the other four held his face and caressed his hair.

The queen was just the same, only taller and bluer. Though she implored them to stay a while, they couldn't keep the other Galra captives from their own homes any longer. The queen contended, happy enough to have them for the evening. They sat down to one meal with her, Jaxil and his family included.

“I am happy to see one of my subjects returned to his family,” the queen commented, gesturing with her head toward Jaxil to her left.

“Yes, Tarrol was with me as well,” Jaxil answered, “but he was killed decapheebs ago. He forced me away and took my place because I have a family.” Jaxil’s mate beside him unfurled one of her arms from the children she was consoling to wrap like a vine around Jaxil’s.

Keith felt his eyes drawn to Shiro a little further down the table. He was looking down at his food, contemplative until Allura, very slyly, placed her hand into his. He showed a small smile. Matt offered Shiro an encouraging smile Shiro never saw as he seemed to be purposely avoiding his gaze.

Shiro had only been held prisoner on the Galra ship for a year and was never the same. Keith could only imagine what it was like for Jaxil, who had been held captive for at least nine.

“I will bestow an award upon Tarrol’s loved ones,” the queen decided earnestly. “For his bravery. We will hold a memorial, as well.”

It was the least Keith would have wanted if Shiro had truly died taking Matt’s place so he could make it back to Pidge. Shiro refused to look up from the table.

“Thank you, Queen Ludifa,” Jaxil smiled, lowering his head in a small bow as his mate joined him. Out of respect, the paladins followed suit.

The queen nodded in acknowledgement, a gentle smile upon her face as she turned her attention onto the paladins. “What was it like?” The queen inquired, tone curious and a little awestruck. “Taking down the Galra? What happened? If I may ask.” That was never going to get old – royalty being worried about offending _them_.

“Oh, it was–” Allura paused, thinking of how to word it, “–a real surprise, to be honest. Who would have thought Haggar was actually the key to everything?”

“I guess we could say it was all thanks to Pidge,” Lance grinned, then aimed it down the table at the Green Paladin. “She’s the one who got us on the Galra ship to begin with.”

“And Lance, too,” Keith blurted without thinking, without any remorse. He worked his food around his eating utensils. “He’s the one who killed her. We wouldn't be here if it weren't for him.”

“Well, I mean,” Lance uttered slowly. Keith didn't have to look up to know what his expression was across the table. “We would have gotten her eventually. We were systematically depleting their quintessence supply. They could have just fallen dead from that one day. So, we should be thanking Pidge. And Allura. And Coran. They’re the ones that came up with it.”

“Yeah, but you literally pulled the trigger, Lance,” Keith insisted, bringing his eyes up to meet – _he knew it_ – startled wide blues. He could always dish it, but he couldn’t take it.

“I’m the one with the gun,” Lance explained, like Keith didn't know, but he heard what Lance was really saying: I’m _just_ the one with the gun.

“You did a really heroic thing, Lance,” Shiro stepped in. “It’s okay to be proud of that. You’re proud of every other thing you ever do,” he chuckled, easily breaking up what would have become yet another infamous Lance-and-Keith argument as well as settling Keith’s nerves from worrying that Shiro might have a panic attack in the middle of a dinner being held for their bravery.

“Yeah, yeah, I just didn't want to brag _too much_ ,” Lance responded, loud and in character. He tossed his head back and crossed his arms, leering at Keith. “Trying to appear professional, unlike _some_ of us.”

Allura was able to move the conversation along with the queen, commenting about the paladins’ humility and readiness to credit each other.

Keith turned to Lance, raised an unimpressed eyebrow, and fought a grin when Lance copied it. Lance wiggled his eyebrows and Keith glanced around at their friends before sticking out his tongue at him, making Lance scoff before kicking Keith lightly in the shin under the table. Keith looked up, jaw dropped in an affronted smirk and Lance shot him a look.

“You don't have to tell _everyone_ about it,” he said quietly, a smirk curving along his face as he quirked an eyebrow.

“You’re right, I don't,” Keith conceded, feigning contemplation before he unleashed his own smirk. “But I will.”

“Suit yourself, then.” Lance rolled his eyes, evidently noncommittal, but Keith knew better. Keith heard his thanks and his self-doubt all at once. It wasn't a decision he made consciously, but _that_ was why Keith wouldn't ever stop.

*

Lance McClain, as Keith very quickly came to understand, was a flirt. A _massive_ flirt. Nyma, surprisingly enough, wasn’t the cautionary tale anyone with half a brain would have expected her to be, but rather just another link in the world’s dumbest, horniest, flirtiest _chain_.

(A chain of _flirting_ , Keith would think, face scrunching in confusion and disgust.)

He flirted with literally anyone. They went planet-to-planet, meeting different alien races trying to recruit allies to aid them in a full-on galaxy scale _war_ , and Lance, who needed no time to deal with the culture shock, flirted with literally _anyone_.

Any lone alien with a remotely statuesque figure had Lance going overboard on gross, asinine pick-up lines, cringy enough to make Shiro intervene. Usually. Sometimes, Shiro didn’t see, was too busy handling actual diplomacy. Sometimes, Shiro missed him.

Unfortunately, Keith couldn’t afford to miss it. He couldn’t afford to miss the way Lance’s eyes zeroed in, almost predatorily, on some poor, unsuspecting victim, just trying to have a nice day. He couldn’t afford to miss the way he calculated when and how to approach the poor thing. He couldn’t afford to miss the _strike_. The sly voice, the pointed gaze, the usually-quite-suggestive-for-eyebrows _eyebrows_.

And usually, all that got him was an eyeroll (varying from culture to culture) and a scoff as his target left him standing there, alone and dejected like an idiot, and Keith could get a good laugh and go along with the mission. But then sometimes, it worked. Sometimes they responded positively.

Which was all the more trouble for Keith because then he had to keep an even closer eye on the idiot. He wasn’t so quick to forget that the last time a girl had responded positively to the complete and total trainwreck that was Lance flirting, they’d nearly lost Blue.

The worst was when it went so well, Lance managed to score a kiss or two because he then managed to _brag_ about it for days to come. Or until they reached the next planet., whichever came first. It was insufferable. They had stopped restraining Pidge from violence.

It was another diplomacy visit, business as usual, and Keith had given himself some slack the moment Lance made that _face_ and Shiro delivered a swift _smack_ to the back of his head. Pidge had snickered and bumped shoulders with Keith who snickered a little louder than he would have usually. It wasn’t unlike him to be vindictive, but Pidge made him crueler.

It wasn’t until after the deal had been made, Pidge standing across from him as they drank somux punch, that Keith _saw_ it.

It being Lance a little off in the distance, making that _face_ with Shiro nowhere around. He was all pointed gaze and suggestive brows and attentive body posture as he sipped on his own glass of somux, drank in the attention from his latest flirting victim.

Now, the Fleuntines were a more… natural people. They had soft and smooth-looking blue skin adorned in unpatterned deep, purple swirls which they shown uninhibited. Proudly. _Naturally_. They had two wide-set eyes, all varying shades of green, and two antennae at the top of their heads. They had long, white hair, falling in silk-like waves and well-built, toned bodies.

Keith had noticed the distinction between men and women, aside from the obvious indicator, thanks to Pidge. The females tended to have bigger, more angular hands for hunting, as well as purple ridges along the sides of their necks. Pidge couldn’t fathom as to why as of yet.

The males, in comparison, had medium to large sized hands, meatier and rounder in description, for gathering, or crushing. They had longer feet and purple ridges along the insides of both arms.

That being said, Lance unleashed one of the grossest-looking smoldering gazes Keith had ever seen onto a tall, long-footed, arm-ridged, meaty-fisted, proudly displayed, naturally uninhibited, very, very obvious Fleuntine _male_.

Which was….

_But–?_

“Keith!” Pidge obstructed his view over her shoulder, waving her hand around at his eye-level. “ _Keith_!” she shouted, impatience apparent in the tone of her voice. “Keith! Fleuntie to Keith!” Dropping his gaze to the calculating, honey-brown of Pidge’s slightly judgmental glare did nothing, unfortunately, to erase the image of naked, blue skin barely covering naked, male anatomy.

“Lance is _straight_ ,” Keith thought. Or at least, he thought he did until he heard himself, meaning that of course, Pidge had heard him as well.

“Is that,” she smirked knowingly – much too knowingly for something that there was nothing to know about – “something you wanna talk about?”

“You were talking about Fleuntine physiology, Pidge?” he coughed out shortly.

“I was actually talking about walls of energy, Keith,” she informed him as her smirk widened almost predatorily.

“That’s what I said.” He pretended to miss the cynical look she shot up at him, then.

Anyway.

No one was safe on the castleship, either. He had always been flirty there, as well, but Keith had never had any incentive to take it seriously before. Lance was, just as he was about everything else in his life, overt and cocky.

“Nice ass, Shiro.”

“Your eyes are like swimming pools of love, Allura.”

“Hercules? Honey, you mean _Hunk_ ules!”

And, okay, so, maybe Lance wasn’t one-hundred percent totally straight. That only made it somehow worse, when Lance turned to him and said: “The mullet almost looks acceptable today, Red, it’s – you – keep it up.”

And…. Okay….

It wasn’t surprising to think that maybe it was just _Keith_ Lance didn’t feel comfortable enough around, but after Lance had said with his own mouth that he wouldn’t mind being teamed up with Keith again, he thought things might be different.

But being teamed up together, and being friends were entirely different things. Being friends would mean that Lance liked Keith as a person and he didn’t quite seem to be there.

Shiro’s advice was to give it time, if he cared that much. Keith clammed up and decided that time wasn’t something he was willing to extend for something as trivial as Lance McClain’s dumb friendship.

His teamwork with Lance, however, only got better and better and that, by extension did change their dynamic at least a little. Detectable only because Keith couldn’t not notice. If Lance noticed, he didn’t act any differently.

They slid into eating lunch together after training together.

They came back from battles and sat on the same couch, opposite ends, and watched whatever Hunk had managed to hook them up with. Though more honestly, Keith _attempted_ to watch whatever Hunk had managed to hook them up with. Lance would talk over everything until eventually, Keith gave up trying to listen in favor of daydreaming, or imagining Lance nearly sucked out of the airlock, or his personal favorite: egging him on.

“Allura could totally grow to admit that she loves me,” Lance was saying, long, gangly body stretched out obnoxiously along his side of the couch and nearly crossing into Keith’s territory.

“I’m gonna be honest with you, I think your biggest worry in that situation is Shiro,” Keith droned.

“It isn’t–” Lance paused, mouth wide open and pointed finger in the air. He looked curiously back at Keith, who groaned and looked over from the control panel. “What do you mean?”

“What do – you can’t be serious, Lance.”

“Are you saying that _Shiro_ likes her, too?!” Lance shrieked.

“I was implying it more _quietly_ ,” Keith hissed.

“Oh, _fuck me_ , how long has _this_ been going on?” Lance demanded, glaring accusatorily at Keith like _he_ had something to do with it.

“Hey! Nothing is going on, I never said something was going on there!” Keith hissed. “I’m just saying, they have some kind of chemistry. Obviously. How the hell have you not seen it?”

“Oh, who looks at her and sees _anything_ else?” Lance lamented.

“Me. I do.”

“Of course, you do, you’re, like, immune to people,” Lance huffed, sitting up and crossing his arms, much like the man-child he was at heart.

Keith scoffed. “I’m not immune to people.”

Lance shot him a bemused smirk. He cleared his throat. “‘I’m Keith, and I have anger issues and got kicked out of the Garrison and lived in a shack for a year like a sad, dirty, mentally unstable hobo, then somehow busted open a top-secret space case on homicidal aliens and giant robotic lions, and _still_ suck at dealing with people.’”

“’I’m Lance, and I do really bad impressions of Keith.’”

Lance scoffed something that was more of a laugh, but Keith wasn’t going to tell him. “’I’m Keith and I don’t know enough about Lance to even try a decent impression of him.’”

Keith huffed, annoyance somehow dissipating despite how ridiculous _this_ was. “’I’m Lance, and I have to turn everything into a competition because I’m in constant need of attention and don’t know _nearly_ as much about Keith as I think I do.’”

“Hey, I know _plenty_ about you!” Lance spat out, the need to be right, as usual, taking over him. “I know you sleep with your knife because you’re either going to attack me in the night to steal Blue, or question the mice on whatever they stole from Coran!” And _God_ , the _idiot_ , there was no way he was _serious_ , but he yelled it with such conviction in his voice and even more confidence in his expression. Keith really didn’t _mean_ to.

But he fucking laughed. He didn't mean to, but it was actually _funny_. The longer Lance stared at him like he couldn’t fathom why in the universe Keith would be reacting that way, the funnier it became.

The only one more shocked than Keith about this strange new development was, as it turned out, Lance. “ _Whoa_.” His expression switched from confused and almost horror-stricken to something else. “Did I just make you laugh?”

And Keith, who had perfected the art of Lance-snapbacks by now, tried to roll his eyes but failed, tried to stop laughing, but only succeeded in calming it down. “I guess statistically, it was bound to happen eventually.”

“Ah okay,” Lance sighed, knowingly, and frighteningly smug as Keith managed to stop laughing completely. He leaned in a little closer on the couch, leveled him this smirk that hadn't been quite that powerful before. “Because I was gonna say, you’ve got a pretty nice laugh, there.”

Keith emitted the ugliest choke.

It didn’t stop there.

Sometimes, Keith would sit on the couch and read, if only for the fact that Shiro only stopped bugging him for doing solitary things as long as he sometimes did them in public. Even if doing so defeated the purpose of doing solitary things, Shiro preached and preached that Keith needed to stop holing himself up like a hermit just because he’d gotten away with it for a year in the desert once.

So, Keith indulged it.

Lance continued to join him there. Not for any particular reason other than to watch the television and be generally annoying while Keith was clearly trying to concentrate on something. Usual Lance behavior.

This time, he wasn’t so much talking as making irritating sounds. Keith would get immersed in his story when Lance would cough or sneeze or yawn and rip Keith right back out into a world where he had to tour the fucking galaxy on a crusade mission with Lance McClain.

He’d just managed to focus back on the words, when Lance yawned so loudly it jerked Keith’s attention immediately back out. He looked up, annoyed. “What the hell, Lance?”

“Nothing, sorry,” Lance said, voice genuine, but eyes definitely up to something. “Just tired.”

“Well,” Keith started, trying to figure out what Lance was doing right now, but when he couldn’t, settled on: “Whatever.” He tried to go back to reading.

Lance yawned again, so loudly he absolutely had to be doing it on purpose. Keith knew he should ignore it, because letting Lance know he was annoyed would only be giving him exactly what he wanted. He should be the mature one here. But he wasn’t. “ _Lance-!_ ”

“Sorry, sorry,” Lance interrupted, mid-incredibly-fake-yawn, and that fucking smirk was back as he stretched his arms high, high above his head. Then his arm _dropped_ to the back of the couch, right behind Keith. “I’ve gotta get a better sleep schedule.”

And it was there, Keith could feel his arm all along where it pressed against his back and his hand was resting against his shoulder and he froze for a solid thirty seconds before it _clicked_ what had just happened. Red-faced and embarrassed, he tried to say something intelligent, but spat out: “There’s no way you just did that.”

“Don't know what you’re talking about.” Then he shrugged, smirking and refusing to look away from the TV.

Keith thought that if he pushed it further, it would still just be giving Lance what he wanted – what exactly that was, Keith still, _still_ couldn’t be sure. So, he left it alone. Lance would move his arm when he realized he wasn’t getting a rise out of him.

The next thing Keith knew, he was sitting up with a cramped hand holding his book against his chest and a crick in his neck from the angle it was in supporting his head against Lance’s fucking shoulder. Lance was snoring, head leaned back so far over the couch it had to hurt.

Lance was asleep with his arm around him. He had somehow fallen asleep on Lance fucking McClain.

No one else was here to see it, he realized with a quick look around the room. Surely, he would have woken up to laughter and teasing rather than a crick in his neck if someone had.

Keith didn’t sleep much at night, or really any other time on the ship. The lack of natural light fucked with his schedule and insomnia had taken away his ability to even lie still most of the time.

And Lance was. _Exhausting_. He wore Keith out on a regular basis. If anyone deserved to have to face the consequences of Keith exhausted it should be _Lance_. Face flaring with a heat he’d deny for the rest of his days, he told himself it was the least Lance could do. The least he could do was be a more reliable support system to him as a pillow than he ever was as a person.

Keith went back to sleep.

*

The fifth planet they visited, Tripta was where they returned Grenyn to his family. The planet Tripta was known for its beautiful scenery and even more beautiful people, with their calming violet skin and wide-set fuchsia, almond-shaped eyes. The people of Tripta fashioned their long white hair into braids and beads or wrapped it in scarves. Keith saw many of them twining each other’s long, light tresses into thick plaits, quick and efficient, having four arms to work with.

They were easily some of the most beautiful people Keith had ever laid eyes on.

Lance seemed to be one of the most beautiful people they had ever laid eyes on. His rockstar shtick most certainly worked on them, especially the younger ones. As he went to find Shiro, Keith told himself that that was the _point_.

They met Angla when they first touched town. She gave them the tour, led them to the castle. Then she walked along with them back out into the courtyard as the king and queen announced that the celebration could begin.

She had taken a shine to Lance, which tended to happen with him being the loudest and therefore, the most noticeable. Keith knew that. They all did. She had a large smile full of pale blue teeth and two small purple tongues, always on display with how much she was laughing.

“Yeah, you glaring like this at everything,” Pidge started, startling Keith so much he nearly spilled his drink, “kind of not helping with the whole _diplomacy_ vibe we’ve got going on here.”

“I’m not glaring,” Keith huffed, trying and failing – he could _feel_ it – to work his facial expression into something more pleasant.

“Glaring isn’t so much a verb for you anymore, Keith,” Pidge continued, calming smile becoming a teasing smirk. “It’s no longer a thing you _do_ , it’s more like something you _are_. You know, a giant glare.”

“ _Pidge_ ,” Keith groaned.

“Come on,” Pidge smiled in response, taking his hand and leading him a little further away from the celebration. “Come take a seat with me.” She plopped down onto a large bolder and pat the space beside her. “We can sit on this fucking rock together and hate everything. Together.”

Keith snorted and took his seat beside her. “Together,” Keith agreed for the _anarchy_ , then it registered in his mind what Pidge just said. “But why are you hating everything this time?”

“Eh,” Pidge shook her head, long, wild caramel-colored hair going everywhere with the movement, “it’s nothing.” She rolled her eyes when Keith shot her an unimpressed look. She groaned. “I just… spent all that time looking for my dad and it’s great to have him here, but he’s not even _here_. I know he’s fixing the wormhole teleporter when we do these visits, but I just wish he would _hang out_ with all of us more.” She laughed helplessly, to lighten the mood as she turned her gaze onto Keith. “I know that’s… _dumb_. And irrational. And whiny. I mean, I have him back in the first place so I’m ecstatic. And he’s working on that thing so we can get back to Mom faster and finally all be back together, but I just feel like I’ve been waiting to have him and Matt back since I was a _kid_. I don’t want to wait anymore.”

“That’s not dumb, Pidge,” Keith said thoughtfully. “And if it is, I’m dumb, too. When I got Shiro back, I was pretty upset that it took days to just have some time with him because of all of you and something that was trying to destroy the _universe_. When I got him back, he wasn’t my brother anymore. Not really. Not for a long time. He was this… traumatized war hero who didn’t know how to look at me anymore.” Keith didn’t like to think about it often, but when he did, he wound up curling in on himself. He pulled his legs up onto the rock, crisscross, and Pidge laid one of her legs over his lap. “You could have been _more_ dumb,” he smiled wryly. “And irrational. And whiny.”

“You’re not dumb, either,” Pidge told him softly. “At least not for that,” she teased, mouth splitting into an impish grin. “I felt the same way when Matt found us back then. He had survived an _atrocity_ and joined the rebels and made it all the way to find me and I was upset about having to learn my brother again,” she scoffed.

“Okay, maybe we’re both kind of dumb,” Keith chortled.

“I mean we’re all _kind_ _of_ dumb,” Pidge agreed, nodding as a slow, soft smile overtook her expression. “But I’m not gonna feel bad about it, you know? We just… love our people. A lot. And we hate change.”

At that moment, Lance let out a peal of laughter that pulled at Keith’s attention. The kind of laugh that turned his head toward the sky and crinkled his eyes at the sides. The kind of laugh that made his shoulders jostle and hunched his spine. “Yeah,” Keith uttered.

“So, Angla’s pretty,” Pidge started, eyeing him conspiratorially. “And so is Kimpa,” she tacked on.

Confused, Keith glanced back over to Lance to see that, sure enough, there was the king and queen’s loyal guard, Kimpa, moving to engage Lance and Angla in further conversation. Keith rolled his eyes. “Everyone here is pretty,” Keith agreed solemnly, full-heartedly. “We’ll never get Lance away from here,” he blurted accidentally.

“Ah, sure we will,” Pidge said quickly. “There are more celebrations to attend, more days to save,” she paused then, turning to look at him, a knowing gleam in her brown eyes. “More mullets to yank.”

Out of habit, Keith moved his hands up to his hair as he sent Pidge an affronted grin. “You’re a dick,” he told her.

Pidge just smiled. “You wanna dance with me?” She asked.

Keith looked out into the crowd to see the people of Tripta coupling up together as music started to play. Their dancing style was unlike anything Keith had ever seen – bold and brazen with lots of hard stomps and widespread arms. Keith watched Allura pull Shiro out among the other dancers where she caught on much quicker than Shiro could. He could hear Allura’s laughter over everyone else.

“You think we can do that?” Keith challenged, bumping his shoulder into Pidge’s.

Playfully, she bumped back. “It’s quick and angry. Like us,” she grinned.

Laughing, Keith let Pidge drag him out into the crowd of dancers where they locked fingers with one another and proceeded to thrash about like undignified lunatics, rather than the saviors of the galaxy.

“Keith, you’re a really terrible dancer,” Pidge snorted, tugging him this way and that way.

“You’re dancing just like me!” Keith protested around a large smile.

Pidge couldn’t stop laughing, making Keith laugh even harder until they finally had to stop dancing or risk keeling over until they could breathe again.

Keith glanced slowly around until he saw Lance, leaning suavely against a tree. The bark was green and the leaves were black and the blue of Lance’s eyes were trained on him. Keith hardly had time for that to register, though, before Pidge was pulling on his arm, still breathing hard, but ready to dance again.

They caught their breath, then they were back at it, dancing harder and faster as the Triptans cheered them on. A few of the Triptans eventually gave them tips that made them look slightly less clumsy, but only by so much. Keith quickly came to understand that this dance was a skill that took longer than a night and whatever magic Allura cast to master.

Keith’s legs felt like jelly by the end of it and he couldn’t stop himself from falling over when Pidge tackled him in a hug. It was a nice piece of knowledge to have tucked away that Pidge would dance herself into a coma at any time if it meant cheering Keith up.

When the Paladins finally tore themselves away from the Triptans, Lance didn’t miss his cue, rockstar that he was, shouting at the people of Tripta not to forget him, Lance, Blue Paladin, right leg of Voltron. Keith wanted to scoff, but found that he couldn’t.

“So,” Lance started, sidling up to Keith on his way to Red. “Saw you moshing over there with Pidge.”

Keith remembered, then, seeing Lance watching them against a tree. Keith schooled his expression, unsure of where Lance was taking this. “She wanted to dance,” he answered, unintentionally defensive.

“You dance just like I always thought you would,” Lance continued, unaffected by Keith’s tone. “Like that one kid that gets way too caught up at an MCR concert,” he chortled.

“Shut up,” Keith snapped, unable to withhold a chuckle, himself. “I bet you didn’t look any better out there.”

“Oh, I didn’t dance,” Lance told him, shrugging noncommittally.

“Not at all?” Keith puzzled, slowing his steps. “You didn’t dance with Angla?” He risked a glance up to see Lance already looking at him, face smug and smirk wide with superiority.

“Nah,” Lance divulged, like he knew something Keith didn’t. Keith’s worry was that he knew exactly what Keith didn’t want him to know. “She asked, but I convinced her to dance with Kimpa.”

“Oh,” Keith answered, speeding back up.

“You were busy, anyway.”

“ _Right_ ,” Keith uttered, slowing down again.

Then Lance sent him a wide grin. “So, save one for me next time, huh?” He smiled wider at the blank look Keith knew must have been on his face. He kept to Keith’s side all the way until they made it to Red. Once there, Lance gave him a small wave. “See you tonight,” he winked. Then he walked off on long, long legs toward Blue.

Keith nodded though Lance was long gone and climbed into Red, ignored her laughing at him as he secured himself in his seat.

He felt like he was never going to get used to that.

*

Planet Mynophray was, as Allura promised, the last planet this side of the galaxy they had to try and make an alliance with. Of course, she had said that four times before, so Keith’s trust in her on that front was dwindling, but he wasn’t going to be the one to say it.

The seven of them dropped down with only Black, Blue, and Green, not wanting to scare anyone with all five enormous lions for the sake of diplomacy, which had always been talking and smiling and sitting and explaining and more talking. Keith could say with absolute certainty that that was why he didn’t much care for it.

Allura always handled the diplomacy part anyway and left the rest of them to kind of stand around and look competent, the order to look competent more than likely being targeted at Lance who was really good at making Keith question his own competency as of late.

“Hey, Mullet,” Lance’s voice was smooth and velvety against his ear and Keith jumped on reflex. “I’m bored,” he whined, like he knew Keith had been thinking about him.

“Of course, you are,” Keith scoffed, staring out into the distance, away into a safe space.

“And I mean, I’ve learned your body language pretty well by now,” Lance divulged, voice back to liquid topaz. Keith could admit to himself that he knew Lance’s pretty well, too, and right now, Lance was doing that thing with his eyebrows that he only did with alien strangers he’d never see again, but this time, he was looking at _him_. “I know you’re bored, too.”

“Okay, so what do you win?” Keith deadpanned, turning his gaze back forward to the safety of the far-off distance.

Lance didn’t miss a beat. “You have to entertain me.”

 _His voice, his_ voice _, his voice, his–_ “How?” Keith took the bait, monotone, emotionless, outwardly stoic.

“Oh, God, you’re actually going along with it, okay, ah,” Lance rushed out, his words tumbling over one another as his face went from unfairly suave to unbearably boyish and charming in two seconds flat. “Okay, you wanna…. You wanna have a race? I feel like I’ve been standing around for hours.”

“You wanna have a race?” Keith scoffed, arms crossing in his disbelief. “Where? From here to that table twenty feet away where Shiro and Allura are convincing the leaders of this planet to believe in our ability to save this galaxy?”

“No, like, more that way,” he pointed out into the safety of the distance Keith had been gazing at. “That tree way out there. They won’t even miss us, the negotiation’s over, it’s all just formalities now.”

“We’re not going to know what tree we’re running towards once we get down there, Lance. There are a lot of trees. That’s a forest.”

“Okay, fine, smart guy, first one to get tired loses,” Lance snapped. “Then we’ll come right back. Maybe by then, it’ll be time to go.”

“Well,” Keith drawled, looking out in the distance, then back at Lance. He was feeling pretty restless and a run sounded entertaining. “Alright fine, you’re on. I’ll kick your ass.”

“Oh,” Lance leant back playfully, “big words for a–” He took off running full speed, jumping down the jagged edges of the castle’s mount with a gleeful shout and a peal of taunting laughter.

“Oh, you dick, you always do this!” Keith bolted after him.

It wasn’t so much a forest as it was a sparse, reasonably distanced expanse of trees with enough space to run through. Enough space to race through with Long-Gangly-Limbs-McClain, no less, and Keith had to admit he was glad he did this. His body was strong, as it had been his whole life; it was hardened from training. He worked it every day, but be couldn’t remember the last time pushing his body had actually been _fun_.

He ran and ran until he forgot _why_ , outrunning his thoughts and feelings and even Lance, forgetting entirely what that meant until he heard Lance yelling for him to _stop running_.

“You win, Mullet, alright!” Lance yelled as Keith finally halted. He turned to see Lance, hunched over bent knees, head hanging low. He lifted his head and his face was so red Keith could see it from how far he’d gotten. “Come back! God, were you ever going to stop?!”

Keith laughed softly, smugly jogging back, eating up the contempt on Lance’s face as he took in Keith wasn’t even a _little bit_ tired. “So,” Keith lilted, leaning down face-to-face with Lance. “What do I win?”

“Ah,” Lance said, face going even redder. Keith watched him blink slowly, watched his pupils dilate. He looked behind himself to make sure something wasn’t running up behind him to make Lance look like that. He turned back to see Lance still looking at him with that face.

“What’s wrong?” Keith asked, shaking his head in confusion.

“What do you mean _what’s wrong_?” Lance retorted after a second more of looking like he was _stuck_. He pushed himself upright and walked past Keith. Keith turned with him, Lance kept his back to him. “We had to have run like six miles just now, I’m _dying_ that’s what wrong!”

“It probably wasn’t even a full mile, Lance,” Keith told him.

“And you didn’t even feel it, did you?!” Lance continued, like Keith had never spoken. He turned back around, a comically familiar affronted expression taking up residence on his face as he walked back around so Keith had to keep turning to see him. Lance was never good at hiding his amusement, though Keith had become certain over the years that he had never once wanted to.

“That’s what training every day gets you,” Keith huffed out. “And if you don’t want to tell me what I won, we’ll just say you owe me a favor. That being said, we should head back, don’t you think? Someone’s probably wondering where we are,” Keith crossed his arms.

“Yeah, you’re probably right,” Lance sighed in defeat. “Lead the way, Speedy.”

Keith shook his head. In all honesty, he hadn’t been paying attention to direction, he’d been more focused on running forward. Lance was the one who kept up with that type of thing. Not to mention he’d planned all this. “Nah, you got it.”

“Yeah, about that,” Lance started sheepishly, suddenly avoiding all eye contact. “I was more focused on… you know, trying to beat you.”

“ _Lance_ ,” Keith begged, because he couldn’t be about to say what he thought he was.

“It’s okay,” Lance said quickly, hands up like that would calm Keith down. “We’ll figure it out. We’re supposed to save the galaxy and if we’re capable of that, we’re capable of finding our way out of a forest.”

“Lance, we didn’t bring our helmets!” Keith stressed, trying not to sound angry, even though, yeah, he was _very_ angry. “We can’t even contact anyone else to come and get us! They’re sitting back on that dinner table useless as rocks because _someone_ had to break the rules and literally run off!”

Lance bristled, looking hurt for all of one second, then he looked just as angry as Keith felt. “Well, look at you, hot shot, you’re in the same fucking forest as me, you didn’t tell me no!”

“I at least expected you to know what the fuck you were doing, Lance!” Keith retorted. “I thought you were at least going to keep track of where the fuck we were when you convinced me to fucking race you!”

“You didn’t seem that concerned when you were running full-speed ahead into the far-off distance, Keith!”

“So, you just spent this whole time watching me _beat_ you instead of anything to do with our surroundings?!” Keith barked. Lance never retorted. He was back to staring at him like something was coming, but this time, Keith wasn’t going to back down by looking away. The worst of it was how hurt Lance was beginning to look. The worst of it was that Keith knew he was being unreasonable.

“Look,” Lance sighed after a long while of the two of them glaring at one another, “this is getting us nowhere. We can think of something.”

“You’re right,” Keith said shortly, too proud to say out loud that he was sorry. He had an idea anyway. “If you give me a boost, I can climb one of these trees and try to find the castle.”

Wordlessly, Lance nodded. Putting their bickering behind them, they worked together to get Keith into the nearest tree before Keith was scurrying up as quickly as he could. There to their right was the castle. “We came from that way!” Keith yelled down below, making sure Lance could see which way he was pointing. “Stay facing that way!”

“Roger, Red!” Lance called back.

Keith didn’t feel the soft smile on his lips until his face began to hurt with it. Then, it was gone entirely when Keith missed a branch on the way down and fell the rest of the way to the ground, landing awkwardly on one foot and one knee.

Lance did not catch him. It had happened too quick for him to do anything besides yell the entire time it happened. He rushed at him and skid across the ground to reach him. “Keith, holy shit, _fuck_ , are you alright?!”

“My – _ow_!” Trying to stand had not been the thing to do. “Lance, I think I really hurt my ankle,” Keith whispered, the panic at their situation becoming something much, much _worse_. “And we’re _lost_!”

“We’re not _lost_!” Lance shouted back. “I saw which way you pointed!”

“You got turned around, Lance!” Keith screamed back, huddled on the ground, holding his ankle in pain. “Just now, we both did!”

“I’m telling you, I know which way we’re going! Will you just trust me for once?!”

“No! _You_ got us into this mess!”

Keith could see on his face that Lance wanted to scream something hurtful right back, but instead, he clamped his mouth shut. For half a second – if Keith had blinked, he would have missed it – Lance looked even more hurt than he had all night. Keith felt the guilt of it immediately bubbling in his chest, almost as present as the pain in his ankle. He wanted to take it back and opened his mouth to do so, but Lance beat him to it. “Look, I’m sorry, okay? And I know it’s, like, second-nature for you to be mad at me, but _please_ , Keith. You’re hurt, and you need medical attention, and I swear I can get us back.”

Keith found himself breathless, trapped in the pleading openness of Lance’s eyes. He could have also been going into shock, but he wasn’t really in any sort of headspace to confront that any more than his feelings about Lance’s eyes. Unable to find his voice, he nodded a confirmation.

Lance nodded back, a gesture that should have been innocent and safe. It was not. His arms shot out, around his back and under his legs, then he was being hoisted up into the air, against the chest of Lance’s armor.

If he’d been speechless before, now he possibly qualified as mute.

Like this, Keith noticed, he was right up against the side of Lance’s face. Lance stayed silent as he adjusted Keith in his hold, one arm under his knees and the other around his middle, tipping Keith into reluctantly slinging his arms around Lance’s (broad, really broad) shoulders. He tried to will his embarrassment away.

From this close, he could see the sharp upturn of Lance’s nose and the way the dark, dark night played with the tones of his skin. He could see how long his lashes were and that his top lip was just a little bigger than his bottom lip.

His jaw set firmly when he was focused. Every other step had Keith leaning further into him. He followed the soft curve of hair over Lance’s ears and traced the line of it to its peak facing downward at the nape of his neck.

He stopped himself the moment he thought that Lance had cute ears. He looked down into his lap and tried to think about how much chilling in a cryopod until his ankle set was going to suck.

When they made it back, in not too much time at all, Keith’s guilt weighed even heavier in his chest. He usually trusted Lance, whether he realized it or not. Being angry at him over a mistake they had both made shouldn’t change that.

Shiro saw them first, rising from his seat beside Allura and the King and Queen as he rushed toward them. The festivities stopped as all eyes were drawn to them. The music stopped mid note and the dancers stopped swaying.

Hunk, Pidge, Allura, and Coran rushed behind Shiro to greet them. Keith unwound his arms from Lance’s shoulders, crossing them over his chest. Hunk had their helmets in his hands.

“We were wondering where you went,” Pidge scolded. “What the hell happened to you?”

“It’s my fault,” Keith started, cut off when Lance interrupted him to say the same thing. “I’m fine,” Keith continued, shooting him a look. “I hurt my ankle. I think I just need a cryopod and I’ll be back to normal.”

Shiro dropped a hand onto Lance’s shoulder, looking concernedly at Keith. “I can get him if you want,” he offered. “You can take Hunk back and Keith can ride in Black with me.”

“No, I – I’ve got him,” Lance said quickly. Keith jerked his attention up to see Lance looking anywhere that wasn’t at another human face as he said it. Reluctantly, Keith took his eyes off Lance’s face and dragged them to Shiro who smirked. Keith wanted to protest, but something wouldn’t let him the longer Lance didn’t give any further explanation than that.

“Okay, then,” Shiro said finally, the calmest in a sea of taunting looks. “Get to it, we’ll see you back at the castleship.”

Lance carried him slowly to Blue and Keith was back to being speechless until he saw Black and Green take off without even waiting for them. “You could have let Shiro take me back. You don’t have to suck up to him by doing this.”

“Call it payback for cradling me in your arms,” Lance retorted, quick and easy, all that annoying cockiness back in his voice, but not quite in his eyes that wouldn’t meet his and _that_ shut him up.

Once inside Blue, another problem arose.

Lance set Keith down gently against the wall of the cockpit. “Sit tight,” Lance told him dumbly. “Gonna see if Blue’s got a secure chair, or something.”

But he came back empty-handed. He gave Keith a helpless but most definitely amused expression, then he scooped Keith back up into his arms regardless of Keith’s loud protests.

“Hey- _hey_ , what are you doing?!” Keith growled, panicked, though he had a pretty good idea of what the hell Lance was doing. “Lance, _seriously_ –!” his mouth slammed shut as he roughly dropped sideways onto Lance’s lap. Lance strapped them in looking for all the world like he’s trying not to laugh. And he was failing _terribly_. And Keith could _yell_.

“I don’t have anywhere else to put you,” Lance explained, cocky smile in place, but eyes set very strategically ahead. “Can’t let you roll around on the ground until we get you back. Instead of fighting me so hard, you could be a good damsel in distress and, like, _thank_ me.”

Keith had no control over his hand when it shoved Lance’s face away. “Don’t call me that,” he hissed. “This is your fault anyway, you know,” he continued. He’d felt bad about saying it earlier, but that was gone now. “We wouldn’t even be in this situation if you knew how to act on away missions!”

“Hey, you agreed to the race!” Lance protested as they took off. Then, for the first time since this all started, he met Keith’s eyes with his own, a mixture of anger and uncertainty swimming in them as he spoke again. “And for your information, _I’m_ not complaining about this situation!”

It was barely out of his mouth before his mouth clamped shut. He looked forward again and did not look away. Keith felt himself blushing up to his ears, right back to speechless.

It was a relatively short ride back. For the remainder of it, they both focused on space outside. Blue was purring, but Keith couldn’t really understand her. Lance was back to silence. Keith was back to counting eye lashes and lamenting over cute ears.

When they reached the castleship, Keith welcomed the cryopod like a long-lost friend.

*

The tenth planet they visited, Vymra, held a type of hominess Keith didn’t usually like to touch down on. Yzmok had talked about it during their entire journey there. Sam and Matt had finally succeeded in making the wormhole teleporter faster, so this time, Sam accompanied the paladins off the castle ship.

Sam Holt had formed an easy-enough relationship with the rest of the paladins, with the exception of Keith, who was a little apprehensive to go near him. It was a bit of the survivor’s guilt that came with having gotten Shiro back long before they were able to secure the Holts. It was a bit of regret over having the gall to disagree with Pidge for wanting to leave Voltron even though that was exactly what he had done for Shiro with the Garrison.

It was a great deal of the shame of being a part of the race that had tortured him and kept him from his family for so long.

He didn’t miss the look of familiarity on Sam Holt’s face as they walked among the Vymranians who kept their families close as if they were physically part of each other. The Vymranians, blue like the Ludians, but lacking purple spots, used their long, gangly arms to seek comfort and closeness from those around them. They had one green eye in the center of their forehead and round open mouths that emitted strange, low-toned rhythms that the younger ones swayed along to.

There were more children visible on Vymra than any other planet they had visited so far. Lance was immediately as taken with them as they were with him even before his rockstar gimmick. Even after their initial meeting with the planet’s rulers and the commencement of the celebration thrown in their honor, Lance kept gravitating back to them. Eventually, Coran followed suit, and Keith watched as they rolled around the ground pretending to be genuinely hurt when the Vymranian children tackled them.

With Sam Holt finally off the castle ship, Pidge and Matt stuck to his side, though they didn’t do much other than sit off out of the way. Pidge was smiling wide and open like they hadn’t seen since she was fourteen years old and baby-faced.

Hunk had been pulled off by some of the older Vymranians, which tended to happen on nearly every planet they went to. The local population tended to see Hunk, fall in love, and think it fitting to show him around as if they could convince him to stay. It became such a common occurrence that, for a while, Pidge would accompany him most places on other planets in the event that one of the aliens would force him into matrimony behind their backs.

Shiro and Allura sneaked off together almost immediately after it was official that no one needed them. They weren’t sneaky at all. Shiro never had been, and Keith had always been under the impression that Allura would know better, but the universe was saved, meaning there was no reason they couldn’t be a little sloppy here and there.

Keith wanted to feel at ease with all this. He wanted to feel comfortable, but that was difficult when he had no idea what to do with any of it. He had never known how to go up to strangers and start conversation like Lance, or how to be eccentric enough to draw people to him like Coran, or even how to make a spot for himself anywhere like Matt and Pidge.

He was just Keith. And Keith was very good at knowing where he didn’t really belong.

He saw Hunk emerge from the royal palace off in the distance. Surprisingly, he was alone and seemed content as he caught Keith’s eye, giving a small nod before walking toward him. Keith sent him a soft smile and tried to look approachable. “I can’t believe you’re coming back alone. Thought we’d have to go in and rescue you in the middle of another marriage ceremony.”

Hunk chortled as he closed the distance between them, standing above Keith. “No, not this time. They were pretty understanding about me wanting to go home.”

There was that word again. “That’s a new one,” Keith smirked.

“Right?” Hunk lowered to sit beside him against the trunk of the tree. Then a moment of silence passed between them before Hunk spoke again. “So, you look… broody. Are you okay?”

“Yeah, buddy,” Keith nodded quickly, though he couldn’t quite bring himself to look Hunk in the eye. “Thank you for asking, I guess.”

“Yeah, you’re not okay, I’m gonna get Lance,” Hunk decided, moving to stand when Keith reached for his arm.

“For the love of God, don’t get Lance,” Keith hissed. “Please.”

“Why not?”

“Because he’s having such a good time over there,” Keith admitted. Hunk followed Keith’s line of sight to see Lance screaming like a banshee as three Vymranian children pinned him to the ground while Coran watched on. “I don’t want to bother him,” Keith sighed.

Slowly, Hunk turned back to face Keith, trying and failing to keep the smugness out of his expression. “Aw, dude. That’s really sweet.”

“Stop,” Keith snapped.

“Well, whatever’s wrong, is it bad?”

“No,” Keith assured him quickly. “Maybe,” he reconsidered. “Listen, you promise you won’t tell anybody? Especially Shiro? Especially Lance?”

“I mean, I don’t know, buddy. Shiro, I can do but Lance is my best friend,” Hunk warned, uncertain.

“It’s nothing like that,” Keith promised. “I just don’t want him to worry.” When Hunk didn’t say anything further, he took it as permission to continue. “I’m really _trying_ not to seem broody. I am. I’m not really used to being around people when they’re being so mushy and I don’t know how to–” he trailed off, unable to think of the word.

Hunk scoffed. “What do you mean you’re not used to being around people when they go all mushy, _Lance_ is–”

“That’s different,” Keith interjected with a sigh. “This planet is really… expressive. And all of you are right at home here and I don’t even know how to pretend to be.”

“Well, you don’t have to pretend to be anything,” Hunk answered, in that way of his – the way that made him feel ridiculous for ever thinking he should be unhappy when he could just talk to Hunk. “So, you’re not expressive. That’s okay. Lance is expressive enough for all of us, am I right?”

Keith snorted. “Sure. Yeah.”

“So, what’s wrong?” Hunk pressed.

“You know, I guess this place has got me thinking about Earth. And everything I’m gonna have to deal with back there, and if that’s even something I have to do because to be honest, I’m better off out here. I don’t want to go back to being, you know. A fucking… delinquent. That punk kid with an attitude problem. That kid everyone saw self-destructing whose parents didn’t care, back again as a most likely vengeful adult. I don’t want to go back to where people used to know me.”

“Well, yeah, but you’re not better off ‘out here’, you’re better off with _us_ ,” Hunk explained casually, like it was something he said every day. “And did you forget that we just saved the universe? You’re not whatever Keith you used to be back then. You’re Keith Kogane, Defender of the Universe now and you kick serious ass.”

“Easy for you to say,” Keith grinned, letting loose an easy chuckle. “You only knew Paladin Keith.”

“What are you talking about? I knew you at the Garrison, remember?”

“Well, I mean, sure, you knew who I was,” Keith clarified, “but–”

“I know what I said,” Hunk smirked. “I knew you. First of all, Lance never shut up about you, so I talked to you, remember?”

“I thought you were going to start something, to be honest,” Keith shrugged, smiling softly.

“Yeah, honestly, I was just trying to diffuse the situation before it really got started,” Hunk explained sheepishly. “I mean, the way Lance was going, you would have just straight-up decked him, eventually.”

“Was definitely planning for it.”

“And he would have deserved it,” Hunk chuckled, “but he’s my best friend. And once I talked to you, I thought you and me could be friends, too. And I was right. I’m usually not wrong about friendship prospects. You’re a good person, Keith. Better than you give yourself credit for a lot of the time.”

Hunk tended to say it a lot, to all of them, but there was something about this time that felt so much more distinctive and important. “Thanks, Hunk.”

“It’s true,” Hunk shrugged. “So, don’t even worry about what’s gonna happen when we get back home. First thing that’s gonna happen is Lance’s mom is going to cry and then his sisters are going to tackle you.”

“Wait, _Lance’s_ mom?” Keith questioned just as a loud shriek rang out.

Keith saw Lance look up from his place sprawled out across the ground under at least five giggling Vymranian children. “ _Are you talking about my family?!_ ” He yelled very loudly and obnoxiously across the field. The children giggled and Keith scowled, tried to make the rolling of his eyes feel less fond.

“No,” Keith called back instinctively, the same moment Hunk yelled out the opposite.

“Yeah, Keith is feeling down and he needs you,” Hunk continued, inflicting some of the deepest betrayal Keith had ever endured from the man.

“Hunk, what the _fuck_?” Keith hissed flicking his gaze between the smug expression on Hunk’s face and the ever-growing concern on Lance’s.

“This is more Lance’s area of expertise, wouldn’t you say?” Hunk winked smugly, sauntering away as Lance maneuvered himself from under the kids and jogged his way over.

“Hunk’s shift over?” Lance teased, sitting himself down beside Keith. He mimicked his position – knees raised and arms hanging over the tops – as they watched Coran take up entertaining the children.

“He’s full of it,” Keith scoffed, training his eyes forward and ignoring the weight of Lance’s gaze on him. “I’m not feeling down, Lance. I’m fine. And you were fine over there with those kids, so you should go back.”

“Why were you talking about my family?” Lance challenged, instead of listening to anything Keith said.

“I wasn’t, _Hunk_ was,” Keith stressed.

“Because if you’re nervous about meeting them, then that’s… oddly normal for you,” Lance continued, his voice doing that thing where it became smooth velvet to ease his nerves.

“I’m not nervous about anything!” Keith argued, thoughtlessly and brashly. Then he heard the words. “And who said anything about that?” He demanded, taking a deep breath until he felt calmer. “About me meeting them. No one ever said anything about that. And I’m plenty normal.”

“You’re half-Galra, babe,” Lance smirked, teasingly tugging at a lock of Keith’s hair.

Begrudgingly, Keith batted his hand away. “Well, your legs are eight feet long, _babe_ ,” he retorted hotly.

Lance emitted a laugh loud enough to draw the Vymranian children’s eyes back to him and Keith watched as one of them ran over. “Oh hey, Xeetla,” Lance crowed, as the child bounced up and down in front of him. “What are you doing over here?”

“I don’t feel like playing over there anymore. I want to sit with you,” the child explained slowly. Her large, green eye slid slowly shut as her mouth opened. Large and wide, it emitted the very same low-toned rhythm Keith had been hearing all night. “Can I?” She asked quietly.

“Sure,” Lance beamed up at her as she stepped forward to climb into his lap. Lance seemed unexpecting, but quickly readjusted his sitting position to accommodate her weight. “Xeetla, have you met Keith?” Lance asked, pointing to his left.

Xeetla didn’t answer with words, rather gave Keith a long look as well as a low, slow melody from her mouth.

“That’s really sweet, Xeetla,” Lance cooed, face awestruck and Keith puzzled.

“What… did that mean?” he asked as respectfully as he could.

“Nothing,” Lance said, voice entirely unassuming, but there was no way that was true.

“Yeah, your answer wasn’t: ‘I don’t know, Keith,’ so how do you know what it means and why won’t you tell me?” Keith challenged, quirking a knowing eyebrow as he crossed his arms.

“It’s not important right now,” Lance huffed, over Xeetla’s amused giggles. “What _is_ important is that we made a promise to each other years ago, remember? You promised me that if we beat the Galra, you would give us a chance.”

“And I _am_ –!”

“An honest-to-God chance,” Lance continued over him, smile turning sly. “You can’t hold yourself back from me. That’s what we said.” Then he cracked a teasing grin. “Isn’t that right, Xeetla?” To which she nodded excitedly, an apparent fast learner, or at the very least, good at improv. When Keith rolled his eyes, he was sure to make sure Lance knew it was directed at him.

“And you’re supposed to be really supportive. Ring a bell?” Keith challenged.

“Which I can’t fully do if you’re holding yourself back from me,” Lance quipped.

Sometimes Lance opened his mouth and the words that emerged stopped Keith’s heart and he had to remind himself that this was what it was going to be like now. All the time. He told himself not to worry too much – that one day he’d get used to it. It did make it harder, though, that Lance was able to jump right in, no grace period required.

Keith leveled him a long, hard look, angry that he was really going to have to talk about this all over again with _Lance_. “Well, Hunk was prying out of me, against my will, might I add, all the reasons why I don’t want to go back to Earth,” he sighed out, tired.

“And those are?” Lance prompted, laughing quietly as Xeetla nodded along.

“Well, I don’t know if you know this about me, but I can be kind of difficult,” Keith snapped sarcastically. “I didn’t exactly have a lot of friends on Earth. Or acquaintances. I had bullies sometimes, and kids I bullied. I was really good at making enemies. All the adults thought I would never be anything but a criminal or dead and the worst of it is that at the time, they weren’t even wrong. I was self-destructing and _everyone_ knew it and that’s… embarrassing, Lance.”

“Keith, it doesn’t have to be,” Lance started. And Keith could see a good-natured spiel in the works behind his eyes and Keith groaned.

“But it _will_ be,” Keith pressed quietly. “I don’t even know what I’d say to anyone. I’d be too busy trying to look like I deserved to be back on Earth to think about what to say to anyone. I mean, I might have it in me to punch Iverson, but at the end of the day I’m still just going to feel really out of place. I had prepared myself for finally getting off Earth. Never had to worry about what I was going to do when I went back.”

“So, you’ll come back to Cuba with me,” Lance shrugged. And Lance announced it so easily that Keith found himself slightly annoyed at the simplicity, found himself feeling like Lance wasn’t really listening to him.

“What, just like that? No more reason to worry, I’ll just sweep it all under the rug and go back to Cuba with you?” Keith blinked.

“But you’re _not_ going to sweep it all under the rug,” Lance corrected, knowing grin in place. Keith hated to admit that he found himself disarmed by it. “You’re _not_ going to avoid it all and come hide with me in Cuba. We’re going to tackle it – all of it – together, because that’s what couples do. And I’m going to support you in any way you need and when that’s done, we’re going to vacation in Cuba together.”

Keith managed to conceal the feeling of his heart melting into goo, sliding downward through all the muscle mass and vital organs.

“Where you’ll meet my family,” Lance continued sheepishly.

The melting stopped.

“Lance, you think that’s a good idea?” Keith asked, voice small and quiet, a plea for Lance to just think about the mess he was making. It was becoming more and more difficult not to overwhelm himself with the image of Lance sitting before him with a small _child_ in his lap trying to persuade him to meet his family.

“Why wouldn’t it be?” Lance shook his head once, smile quirking up further at the edges like Keith made no sense. “I’m serious about you. I’d say that makes this a good idea.”

Keith knew his face was going red, confirmed only by Xeetla’s soft, innocent giggling as she watched it happen. “Why are you like this?” Keith managed, looking anywhere but at the two of them.

Lance scoffed, “Love or _some_ shit.”

“ _Stop_ ,” Keith stressed, pressing his hand over his burning face.

“Look, if you really don’t want to meet them, then I’ll respect that because I respect you,” Lance said after Xeetla’s giggling had died down. “But I just want to be sure that it’s not because you don’t think you’d belong there. Because let’s get one thing straight: you belong where I am and I belong where you are.”

Lance had to be doing it on purpose, purposely trying to _win_ or make Keith _swoon_ and Keith hated to admit it, but the only thing keeping him from giving in was Xeetla, sat innocently on Lance’s lap keeping Keith from doing it.

Lance smirked, well-versed in reading Keith’s facial expressions by now. He cocked his head to the side. “Just think about it, alright? We still have a couple days, tops.”

“Tell me what Xeetla said earlier and I will,” Keith smirked back.

Lance sighed, “Oh fine, you utter, impatient _child_. She said you’re really pretty and she understands why I look at you the way I do, and that she hopes one day she has a love as pure and bright as ours.”

“Really?” Taken aback, Keith look down to Xeetla, who looked as taken aback as he did if not more so. He groaned, not nearly as annoyed as he was pretending to be. “Oh, shut the fuck up, you don’t know, either!”

Unable to hold it in any longer, the snickers slipped out through Lance’s wide, beaming mouth in a trickle of sounds accompanied by more of Xeetla’s giggles. Keith was joining in before he realized it.

Keith had known for a long time that he and Lance were a sure thing. If he belonged where Lance was and vice versa, then Keith knew he would follow Lance anywhere. He would have done it whether he belonged to Lance or not, but since Lance wanted to belong to him, too, then that made things admittedly easier.

It had been a long-forming habit, but he was slowly coming to realize that it was okay to think about these things. Now that the war was over and the galaxy safe, it was okay to think about how he felt about Lance and how he cared about Lance. How much he would always cherish Lance.

Or just Lance in general.

How Lance looked at him now that everything was said and done, coupled with how he’d almost always looked at him. How Lance joked about anything and everything, but knew when to be serious. How Lance knew most of Keith’s mannerisms and what meant exactly what, and how Keith knew the same for him.

If nothing else, maybe Earth could envy him that.

*

Completely discordant from anything having to do with the Galra threat, after nearly two years of defending the galaxy, they’d had to take out a civilian.

Lance took it harder than anyone.

He made the shot, then immediately threw up. He shook violently on the way to Blue, and was still shaking when they made it back to the castleship. Truthfully, they knew it was bad when he didn’t try to make a joke out of it; when he wouldn’t even let Hunk get near him.

He holed himself up in his room, and the rest of them left him alone, but the idea of Lance – dumb, loud, obnoxious, flirty, happy _Lance_ – barricaded all alone just on the other side of his wall wouldn’t leave _him_ alone.

Keith couldn’t explain why, but he felt awful about it in a very personal way. Lance, who had been able to keep a brave facade this entire time shouldn't be crumbling this badly, and it wasn’t too much longer before Keith had to leave his room, opting to wander the castle rather than sit, quiet and useless as the heart of their team fell apart on the other side of their thin, shared wall.

Keith wasn't affected by his first kill. Granted, it had been a Galra soldier he’d killed. And it had been more of an indirect manslaughter type situation rather than a decision that he’d had to make to _do it, take this life into your own hands_. In fact, it was a small handful of soldiers, incinerated by a bomb Hunk and Pidge made that he’d had to plant. He just so happened to made eye contact with one right before he….

But you wouldn’t have caught Keith falling to pieces over it.

He’d been in slightly similar situations on earth. Bloody fist fights that had gone too far. He’d never killed anyone of course, but he definitely thought he _could_ , had been dragged kicking and screaming away many times before he could try.

His first kill out in space had meant something – he had just taken a small handful of lives, why _wouldn't_ it? – but it didn't tear him up like it did Lance. He was a soldier after all. At the Garrison, they had been learning about warfare and how to survive drastic situations, what the hell had Lance thought they would be using that for?

He wandered the castleship late into the night, trying to outpace the thought that Lance was too important with every stride.

And for all the figurative running he did, he only managed to walk right in on him, on the bridge, looking blank-faced out into the galaxy and Keith _froze_ in the doorway. He stood watching, uncharacteristically silent and _nervous_ long enough to utterly give himself the creeps before Lance finally looked over his shoulder, eyes wide and blue and wet and deeply, knowingly _sad_ , and reeling him right in rather than turning him away. Slowly, like a timid child, he ambled forward, sat a foot away from him on the floor by the glass window. He didn't know what to say. Then Lance was talking.

“He said I was no better than he was if I did it. He said we were supposed to be the good guys.”

“He was trying to save his own skin,” Keith answered, trying to keep his eyes forward, but failing miserably at keeping his eyes off Lance. “You saw what he was doing to those villagers.”

“I know that. I took the shot, didn’t I?” Lance’s voice was so monotone, Keith didn’t know how to _feel_. “He was right, though. I don't know what I thought this was going to be. Saving the universe, being heroes…. It wasn't… it wasn't supposed to be having to wash some alien’s blood off me in the showers for an hour.”

There were too many thoughts clouding Keith’s head and the whole time, he couldn't take his eyes off Lance. Lance, who wouldn't take his eyes off the stars. Lance, who laughed too long and too loud, who flirted with anything that moved, who told the worst jokes, even at his own expense if it meant someone else would laugh, who had a million and one different smiles, each as bright and meaningful as the last. Lance, who sat before him crumbling. _Lance, who_ –

“Tell me about your siblings,” ripped from his vocal chords.

“Huh?” Lance mumbled. He started to shake his head and Keith could see it clear as day on his face: _I know what you’re doing, you transparent rube, and it isn’t going to work_ , but Keith spoke louder.

“What are their names?” He insisted. And Lance looked at him, looking just as earnest as Keith felt until Lance sighed and surrendered.

It was long and loud and dramatic – the sigh – like everything Lance ever did. He shot Keith the most bored expression he could muster up while still complying to demands. “Danny's my oldest sibling. He's nine years older than me. Then there's Cleo,” he gave a dry chuckle then. “She's my favorite, but don’t tell the others,” he said in a joke that fell horribly flat. “Then there’s Lucas, who is only two years older than me. Then me. Then Sofia. She’s gotta be a senior in high school now. Then, Matty, then Josephine, and Stella, Ruth, and Dex.”

“You have... that many siblings? In your _house_?”

“Yeah,” Lance nodded, like it was nothing. “My parents run, like, a small military base out of our house,” he joked. “Everyone knows not to mess with the McClains because we're loud and bony and can scream like you wouldn’t believe.”

“I mean, I can believe.”

“I am but merely a tenth of our true power as a family unit,” Lance smirked. And he looked wistful, but not entirely miserable. He looked thoughtful, but also like he wanted to stop talking.

Keith didn’t want him to stop talking. “Yeah? So... who's... the strongest?”

“Of my siblings?” Lance chuckled weakly, as if Keith had no idea what he was getting into. To Lance's credit, he really didn’t. “Cleo. Definitely Cleo. She's... the bitchiest. She'll ruin your fucking life without lifting a finger, all she needs is three minutes alone with you. You definitely want her on your side.”

“Is that why she's your favorite?” Keith risked. “Keeping your enemy closer?”

Lance scoffed. “Yeah, I’m a halfway intelligent being. But,” his voice turned softer, more wistful. “She’s also really smart. And protective. And she’s really fun, and funny. She’s fucking selfish and prickly, and fucking argumentative. She’ll argue you onto your knees. She’s loyal, though, you know? She’s dumped boyfriends over us before. I don’t know, it’s easy to look up to her. It’s scientifically fascinating really, how she can be somehow both the best and worst person you’ll ever meet.”

“How did you survive that?” Keith demanded.

“Easy, I’m her favorite, too,” Lance shrugged.

“That’s convenient.”

“I really am, though,” Lance insisted, that familiar challenging gleam far away in his eyes, but finally _there_. “When we make it back to Earth, you can ask her, yourself.” He said it loud and clear, and most likely without thinking. Keith, prepared to write it off, was wholly unprepared for the utter lack of embarrassment there. Lance meant it.

And… okay. “You think I’ll forget, but I won’t.”

“I wouldn’t expect you to,” Lance said, to have the last word.

“And next, I suppose you’re gonna tell me you’re everyone’s favorite?”

A diminutive smile. “Good news for you, you’re not the only one I can’t completely win over with my charm.” He did a decent job of pretending like Keith’s punch to the arm didn’t hurt, but Keith saw the flinch. “Danny was so much older that he only really got close to Cleo and Lucas. By the time I came around, he was nine. Like, he likes me – we all like each other, but you have closer to bonds to certain people, you know?”

“Sure,” Keith murmured hopelessly. He didn’t know. Shiro was all he had, and Shiro was definitely his favorite. Shiro was pretty much the only bond he’d ever made on his own.

“I can promise you I’m Sophia’s favorite, though,” Lance said, smile becoming halfway genuine. “She was the one born after me, so you know, she’s _my_ little sister.” He shrugged. “She’s an asshole, but not nearly as bad as Cleo. She’s just a brat. Cries about everything. Plays the baby card, even though we have five siblings after her. She’s right in the middle, so she gets away with damn near everything.”

“I don’t believe, for a second, you didn’t use that to your advantage.”

“You would be correct. Any time I wanted to do something, I’d get Sophia to trick Mom into letting me do it in exchange for doing the laundry because she hated it.”

Keith chuckled at the idea of Lance running a long con in which the end result was him having to man a washer and dryer. When he was younger, he and Shiro had never had anything like that. There had been no other system between them aside from Shiro telling him he couldn’t do something, Keith doing it anyway, and Shiro having to save the day.

“You’re terrible,” Keith said instead.

“A terrible genius who knows how to work the system,” Lance shrugged back with a soft bump into Keith’s shoulder. “I don’t know how she gets out of doing laundry now with me all the way out here.”

Uh-oh, dangerous territory. He’d meant to get his mind of his kill today, not make him think about missing his family and getting sad _that_ way. “I never actually learned how to do laundry,” Keith rushed out, stupidly, to what he assumed would be Lance with that unwelcomed, watery frown, but was instead met with familiar snickers at his expense.

“It’s okay,” Lance smirked. “You don’t have to distract me anymore, I’m fine. I feel… better now.”

“Oh,” Keith said, relieved, then confused. “Wait, _really_?”

“Yeah, man,” Lance nodded. “You’re really bad at being discrete with your intentions. Like, really bad, hilariously bad.”

Typical. Of course, he did all this and Lance was _laughing_ at him. “See if I ever try to help you again,” Keith growled out, even though he didn’t feel as angry as he wanted Lance to think.

“I don’t know, I hope you do,” Lance shrugged lightly, and he gave Keith that look out of the side of his eyes. The one that meant he was really up to no good, but Keith didn’t know how to defend himself. “I went with it, didn’t I?” Then he leaned over and over, and _over_ until his head rested against Keith’s shoulder.

The _last_ thing to cross Keith’s mind (seriously, anyway) was that this could be entirely intentional. Lance was tired and fatigued, or emotionally exhausted. Obviously. Either way, Keith was emotionally compromised, and he was inwardly _panicking_. “ _Lance_ –?”

“Just go with it.” He said it simply, like he was giving directions on how to breathe. This was like _breathing_ to Lance, Keith felt like. Having control of his emotions and his words, and their meaning. Knowing what to say to have which effect, knowing when to resist and defend, and knowing when to _go with it_.

A terrible genius who knew how to work the system, indeed.

“Bring it in,” Lance instructed, voice not quite back to normal, but light like it got when he was trying. “You’re a foot away and my neck hurts.”

Keith shimmied in little by little until they fit together, side-by-side like slots. He let his own head rest atop Lance’s. He went with it.

In and out; inhale, exhale; in and out.

*

The nineteenth and final planet they visited, Phyrah, was where they dropped off Hympra.

The people of Phyrah waved to greet them, their yellow skin bioluminescent in the dark atmosphere surrounding them. Their eyes – two each and foggy blue – suggested scotopia.

(“In layman’s terms,” Lance had drawled out during their briefing on the castleship.

“Night vision,” Pidge had blank-faced. “Better?”)

The Phyrans towered over even Lance by at least a foot. The women were strong-built and formidable like the males, appearing Amazonian. The hair on their heads came in varying shades of vibrant red.

Princess Japtah was Phyrah’s best warrior. She led the charge in their battles and helped train the soldiers. Keith found himself impressed, then, equally as embarrassed when Lance caught on to why Keith was acting so starstruck. He then made such a big deal about it that the princess noticed. Flattered, she offered to take him to see their armory. He vaguely registered Lance chuckling beside him as he vigorously nodded his head.

The armory was about as large as the grand entrance to the Castle of Lions. Though, the Castle of Lions didn’t have nearly as many weapons. They lined and filled every nook and cranny of each wall. The styles ranged from archaic to futuristic, all equally functional.

“How long have you been fighting?” Keith asked lowly, trying not to seem like he was openly ogling the display of knives, even though he was.

“Since I was young,” Princess Japtah answered, moving past the knives along to bigger weapons. “My father taught me since I could stand. He thought I should be able to defend myself even though I was constantly surrounded by the guards. Just in case they slipped up, or I got loose somehow. He couldn’t be careful enough with his baby girl. He didn’t think I would take such a shine to it.”

With that, Princess Japtah reached up the wall to pull down a horned mace from its bracket. She held it out in an offering to Keith. “How about a round?” She asked, as if she weren’t at all threatening.

“Really? You’d spar with me?” Keith heard the tone of his voice before he could tell himself to tone it back. Looking at the princess, however, let him know she didn’t mind. If anything, she continued to look flattered.

“Of course,” she answered with a quick nod. “You are one of the defenders of the universe. You are the agile one.”

It tripped him up finding himself flattered. “Uh, yeah,” he answered dumbly. “Do I have to use the mace?”

“Choose whatever pleases you.” Then she laughed, loud and round like bells as Keith walked back in the direction of the knives. “I am not surprised, Red Paladin. I should have thought as much of you.”

“Knives keep me agile,” Keith teased back. He took his time to consider, choosing, in the end, one of medium length placed in the center of the brackets. It reminded him of his Marmora blade. The weight of it in his hand was similar, as well. “Is it alright if I ask you to teach me what you teach your soldiers?”

The princess puzzled, appearing more flattered than ever as she watched him with large, burgundy eyes. “Truly? You wish to learn from me?” She placed a bright yellow hand against her hip, muscular arm flexing as she did so.

“Sure,” Keith shrugged, trying to keep his nodding at a normal pace. “You’ve been a trained fighter way longer than I have. I was in a lot of street fights as a kid. Things like that.”

“Street fights?” Princess Japtah echoed.

Keith drew a momentary blank on how to describe them. “Informal… _scuffs_ ,” he tried. “Like, no form or anything. You just square up and start swinging. Of course, I was smaller than the other kids for a long time, so I had to use the bigger kids’ size against them.”

“What do you mean ‘no form?’” The princess smiled, impressed. “That’s plenty form. If anything, it is tactical. That being said, why don’t we just go a round, so I can see what I’m working with? Then I’ll know what to teach you.”

“Sounds good,” Keith said, unable to stop the grin coming through.

The princess gave no preamble. She took a giant swing with the mace, and it was all the countdown Keith needed. It was why he preferred to train with Allura or Pidge, since they also simply jumped right in. Shiro, Hunk, and Lance – God bless them – always felt the need to count down or warn him that they were going to start and it was so innocently endearing that Keith always had a hard time taking them seriously until he nearly got punched in the face.

With only two arms and two legs to work with, like himself, the princess wouldn’t have been quite that threatening if not for the fact that she towered over him by at least a foot. He was sure she was expecting to watch him use her own size against her.

The horned mace made that a little more daunting, but he had faced worse. She didn’t go easy on him. By the time she was finished coming at him like a freight train, he was sweating and panting harder than he usually was after training with Allura.

“Wow,” Shiro whistled from somewhere behind him. Keith turned abruptly to see him walking, awestruck as he observed all the weapons toward where he sat on one of the benches. “She really worked you good, huh?”

“He’s holding his own,” Princess Japtah chuckled, lowering her mace.

“Looks like it,” Shiro smirked. “Are you going to keep going?”

“We can take a break,” Princess Japtah offered. Now that Keith could get a good, steady eye on her, he could see she was sweating just like he was. He tried not to feel too smug about it and failed miserably. “For the Red Paladin.”

“Sure,” Keith shot her a knowing glance.

“I’ll be back,” Princess Japtah smiled smugly in return. “I should go check on things.”

“She’s gonna go check on things,” Shiro repeated after she had gone. “She feels bad ‘cause you can’t breathe.”

“Shut up,” Keith snapped – wheezed, more like – as he rolled his eyes. He pulled a knee up to his chest in the hopes that it would disguise how hard he was breathing. “What are you doing here?”

“Looking for you, kid,” Shiro answered.

“Great, what did I do wrong?” Keith asked, half-kidding. At least until Shiro hesitated to say “nothing.” Then Keith panicked. “Fuck, Shiro, did I do something wrong? What did I do wrong?!”

“Nothing, nothing!” Shiro exclaimed, hands up in surrender, though his eyes looked guilty. “You didn’t do it _wrong_ , per se, you just did it… _Keith_.”

“Oh God, what did I do?” Keith fretted.

“You know what, let me start at the beginning,” Shiro breathed out evenly. Keith nodded vigorously. “We were all eating with the king and queen earlier. They were asking us all what we planned to do with all the free time once we made it back home.” Keith looked down, having a pretty good idea where this was going. “Lance fell awfully silent.” Keith winced. “Noticeably silent. So Allura and I waited until after dinner to ask him what was up.”

“Is he okay?” Keith asked quietly, though a guiltier part of himself felt he didn’t have the right to ask that.

“He’s fine,” Shiro answered deliberately. “At least, he sure did a job trying to convince me and Allura. She damn-near had to wrestle it out of him, but here it is.” He turned slightly judgmental eyes onto Keith who did his best not to shrink away. “He wants to go back home to Cuba. But he’s not sure about that, since you aren’t sure. He says he’s not going anywhere without you, so he’s just not sure.”

“He said that?” Keith marveled, unsure how to feel. “He said he’s not going anywhere without me?”

“He’s Lance,” Shiro smiled diminutively. “Of course, he did.”

“He wasn’t supposed to do that,” Keith shook his head, scowling as sweaty hair fell over his eyes. “He’s not supposed to say that.”

“Then what was he supposed to say, puppet-master?”

Keith groaned, choosing to ignore the idiom and what it did to his insides in favor of explaining. “He was supposed to just… forget about it and… let it go. He was supposed to eventually grow to be okay with it. He definitely wasn’t supposed to hold up his life because of me. He was supposed to go home and be happy.”

“Without you,” Shiro remarked, confusion becoming pity so obvious Keith wanted to yell.

“Stop it, Shiro, you know what I mean.”

“No, Keith,” Shiro explained. “I really don’t. It all just sounds like you’re trying to push him away again.”

“That’s–!” He groaned, unable to think of what exactly it was. “Since when have I–?”

“Since the moment you realized you wanted him, Keith,” Shiro sighed out, patiently.

“But I had to do that!” Keith argued. “Voltron would have–!”

“Well, yeah, I know you did it for Voltron, but you also hid behind Voltron. You’ve always tried to push him away. Throughout your entire relationship. And normally, I would say that’s a great way to ruin a relationship, but Lance is never going to leave you. He’s literally not going to go home to his _family_ if it means leaving you. He wants to give you the universe on a silver platter, but you do just about everything to keep the kid at arm’s length, and I mean, I know you, so _I_ get why, but I’m sure he’s freaking out trying to figure out why–”

“ _Because_ ,” Keith interrupted. Voice weighted and angry, he made himself take a deep breath. “Because,” he started more evenly, “I’ll just _fuck it up_ somehow. He is such a great person and I’m a walking disaster, Shiro! My life has been spiraling downward since the moment I was born! I destroy just about everything I touch – fighting and running is what I do _best_ and who can stay with someone like that? I don’t want to drag him down with me, he doesn’t deserve that. He’s done so much for everyone. For the _universe_ , I don’t want to be the one to make him regret it. He doesn’t deserve that.”

“Okay, first of all, that’s all bullshit and you’re projecting, but secondly, don’t you think Lance deserves a say in any of this? Doesn’t he get a choice?”

“He’d choose me,” Keith sighed, finally meeting Shiro’s eyes over his knee. “Just like he is now, the idiot.”

“Yeah, but you can’t punish him for loving you,” Shiro shook his head.

“He’d throw away everything he’s fought so hard for, for me!”

“That’s because he’s fought the hardest for you, Keith,” Shiro sighed, keeping Keith’s gaze as he waited for it to click. “And you’ve fought too hard for him to not even be able to talk to him about this stuff. You at least owe him the conversation.”

Keith sighed, resting the side of his face against his knee.

“You should really talk to him about all this stuff, how you’re feeling. Soon. It would do you both a world of good. I know you think really loud, but that doesn’t mean people can read your mind. You have to use your words.”

Using words was something he’d spent his entirely life training himself _not_ to do. It had always been easier to decide, himself, the easiest way to deal with the discomfort or pain of a situation and then silently handle it. Alone. Shiro telling him that that was a problem wasn’t new. In fact, it only made sense the more he thought about how Lance handled his problems.

He shut his eyes a bit longer than a standard blink. He told himself he could try for Shiro. To _Try_ turning everything swarming around in his head into words. “Shiro, if you repeat this aloud ever again, I’ll die trying to kill you, but… I’m scared. I’m so scared of losing him like I’ve lost almost everyone I’ve ever cared about. I can’t watch him walk out of my life because of _me_. Because of something intrinsically _wrong_ with me. I couldn’t handle it if I let myself _trust_. And he _left_. Just when I thought things were good.”

“But Keith–”

“The worst part is, I wouldn’t even blame him,” Keith blurted. “I would let him go, if that’s what made him happy. Right now, he says that’s me. That I’m what makes him happy, but what if that changes? It always does.”

“Keith,” Shiro sighed, “not only are you worrying about something you can’t control, you’re worrying about something that is never going to happen. I know you like to think ahead, because it’s easier to accept something if you’ve already considered the possibility of it happening, but you can’t do that. You have to live here and now, and right now, it’s okay to want to be happy.”

Keith paused, let the words sink in. Louder than Shiro’s words, were his own thoughts – thoughts that sounded suspiciously like Lance – screaming _What do you have to lose?_ Groaning, he averted his gaze. “ _Ugh_.”

“I know that’s Keith-speak for ‘thank you, Shiro.’”

“I literally hate you.”

“I know,” Shiro smirked, then pat his knee. “Just talk to Lance, okay? I know it sounds nice, but a quiet Lance is a really weird experience.”

Keith scoffed just as the automatic doors to the weapons room slid open, revealing an excited-looking Princess Japtah.

“Ah, right on time,” Shiro said with an air of superiority, starting to laugh when Keith did, “the princess returns to finish kicking you around the room.” With that, he rose from the bench, but not before placing a calming hand down onto Keith’s shoulder. “Think about what I said.”

“Are you leaving, Black Paladin?” Princess Japtah called as Shiro turned toward the doors.

“Unfortunately, yes,” Shiro answered politely. “I should check on Princess Allura. I’m sure Keith knows what he’s doing here.”

*

Now, Lance was no stranger to having nightmares. It was something that everyone on the castleship just knew. He had bad dreams about never seeing his family again, or being at fault for the destruction of Earth, or being lost to space without anyone ever knowing what had happened to him. They all did, to some extent.

But these were so much worse.

Keith was an insomniac, so he was used to hearing Lance in the night. Usually loud grunts and the occasional whimper, but never anything too bad. But, shortly after Lance shot that civilian, his nightmares were more vocal. He woke up screaming most nights, and when that happened, Keith didn’t hear anything else until morning.

It became evident in the following days as they tried to form Voltron, that Lance just didn’t go back to sleep when that happened. For the good of them team, he told himself, this couldn’t continue. There was a simple and clear course of action if Keith really wanted this done right, but.

He could never bring himself to mention it to Shiro. Not when he could just… handle it. Himself.

Keith was reading in his bed when he heard Lance scream. It was more instinct than anything else, really, the way he threw himself out of bed and out the door. It took Lance a while to answer the door after he knocked, but when he did, God he looked horrible. Like he hadn’t slept in days. “Keith?” he croaked.

“You were having a nightmare,” Keith offered. “You sounded really scared.”

“Great,” Lance groaned. He pulled his stupid blue robe tighter around impossibly skinny hips. “Awesome.”

“Are you going to be okay?” Keith asked uselessly.

And Lance looked at him. He suddenly didn’t look tired at all. Instead, he looked still, and impatient, and for a split second, curious before, finally, he rolled his eyes, tossed out a scoff, then levelled Keith a crooked smirk. “Okay, listen, since I’ve already been soundly embarrassed, here’s the thing: I don’t want to go back to sleep after that. I don’t think I can. I know you weren’t sleeping, either, I heard you fidgeting around before I fell asleep. Do you wanna go back to the bridge and talk about our dumb families?”

 _I don’t know_ , Lance had said slow and sleepy, so many times, again and again, on repeat in Keith’s mind over the past few days, _I hope you do_.

“Fine,” Keith said softly.

“Great,” Lance nodded. Stubbornly, he led the way. “Listen, I know it probably sounds like it. On your side of the wall. But, I’m not scared. Okay?”

“Okay.”

“They’re just dreams,” Lance continued, voice strong and powerful like that would make the words true. He walked faster down the halls.

Keith got it now. “I…. have nightmares, too.” Keith offered sheepishly. “When I can sleep. Shiro gets them really, really bad. I know Pidge gets them and she gets really panic-y about them. I bet Allura’s and Coran’s are terrible. And Hunk–”

“But you’re all still able to do your jobs,” Lance interrupted in a frustrated shout. “Allura and Coran lost everything they loved and Coran still has it in him to laugh every day! Allura’s still the strongest thing I’ve ever seen! And Shiro has severe PTSD and can still lead Voltron and Pidge – Pidge lost her entire family and still kicks ass and Hunk didn’t even want this and he’s still amazing and-and you! I don’t even know what the fuck your deal is but even you can keep it together when it counts and there’s no reason for me not to be able to function and carry my own weight just because I had some bad dreams that everything was my fault–!” his voice cracked and he went silent.

It gutted Keith.

They continued on silently to the bridge. Lance’s heavy breathing evening out as Keith’s began to pick up. You’re not dead weight, he wanted to say as he followed Lance to the large, glass window. We’re all just dead inside. Well, maybe not Allura or Coran, or Hunk, but the rest of us – dead inside, he wanted to say. How the hell else do you think we could handle all this so well?

He sat beside Lance on the ground.

You’re not bringing us down, he wanted to say. No one’s really keeping it together. You should have said something.

“I never find Shiro. In my nightmares,” Keith said instead. “I spend my entire life looking for him and watch myself grow old, most the time. Or sometimes, I find him dead. Lately, I’ve been having these crazy dreams that he turns on us. And everyone does their part to stop it, but me,” Keith admitted. It had become one of his darkest secrets since that particular dream started happening. He didn’t like to think about it or it threw him off, too. Which was why he was telling Lance. “I don’t fight against him, for some reason. I just wait until he fights off everyone else, and then I fight him. And I win. And I kill him. Because there’s something evil in me.”

A beat of silence. Then: “Whoa.”

Keith breathed even, too scared to look up. “Yeah.”

“That’s fucked-up,” Lance decided, laughing softly in disbelief, ever helpful.

“…Yeah.”

“Talk about anxiety dreams.” Lance whistled. “That’s like a cheesy movie plot, Keith.”

“Okay, yeah, are you done?!”

Lance sighed, small smile still on his face as he finally looked Keith in the eyes. “I made a mistake. Fucked up really bad and you were all dead. And I didn’t know what to do. Zarkon was laughing and they captured me. Took me to Earth. Made me watch as they destroyed everything. They found my family and told me to, you know, do it. Like, kill them. I cried. I watched them all die. It was all my fault. I keep dreaming it. It’s been days. I’m fucking exhausted.” He gave a sad chuckle. “We’re all a mess, aren’t we?”

Keith’s heart was certainly a mess. I don’t know, Lance was saying in his mind again. I hope you do. “Uh. Tell me about the ocean?”

The expression on Lance’s face was unreadable. Then he smirked, looked to the side, amused in a disbelieving way. “Still haven’t learned any subtlety, I see.”

“What’s the point?”

Lance showed the first genuine smile Keith had seen in days, small, but real. “With the way you phrased it, however, I’m going to assume you’ve never been to a beach. Which is sad for you. I’ll explain it to you like you’re five: The water is blue and there tends to be sand.”

“Fuck you,” Keith grinned, deadpan.

But Lance talked himself tired, the good kind. And though Keith was often tired, he felt like, now, he could sleep. Lance’s voice wasn’t giving him a choice in the matter either way, pulling him under, slow and safe. He hadn’t noticed he was slipping until Lance jostled him back. “Keith.”

He hummed, too tired for words, too tired to register trying to fall asleep.

“About your mega fucked-up emo-ass nightmare? There’s nothing evil inside you, dude. Something dumb, maybe. Blind, sure – we’ve discussed the mullet – but not evil. You couldn’t be evil.”

“Family’s not gonna die,” Keith mumbled, barely aware of speaking anymore. “And you’re not holding us back. Galra ain’t… shit. I’m gonna kill ‘em.”

He vaguely registered the soft hum of Lance laughing at him, almost missed the hand against his back. “Yeah, yeah, cool. Night, buddy.”

*

Pidge came to retrieve Keith an immeasurable amount of time later as it got late. Planet Phyrah being their last stop, they could finally, finally take off for Earth. Formally, Pidge and Keith bowed before the princess, who waved them off and bade them safe travel.

“So, Keith,” Pidge started, albeit, a little hesitantly, as they crossed the open field back to the Castle of Lions. “About Lance–”

Keith sighed. “It’s fine, Pidge, I already got the lecture.”

Later on, when he wasn’t so annoyed at it all, he’d thank her for caring so much about how he and Lance were doing.

Lance wasn’t with the others when they entered the control room. Keith knew it wasn’t a coincidence. “Where’s Lance?” he asked, aiming for casual.

“He’s in his room,” Hunk answered. There was concern in his eyes.

“ _Thanks, Hunk_ ,” he wanted to say. “ _You guys are all really great friends_ ,” he wanted to say. He opened his mouth. “I’m gonna hit the showers,” he said instead. He knew he wasn’t imagining the feeling of their eyes on his back as he left.

He entered Lance’s room (their room, now) half an hour later, wearing a plain, white t-shirt that was too long for his torso. It fell to the top of his thighs – one of Lance’s – and Keith had tried and failed not to grin about how domestic it all felt.

Ever since Keith moved in and they started sharing a bed, Lance forbade him from sleeping in his clothes, insisting that for optimal cuddling results, Keith needed to wear actual sleep clothes. Keith had never really had any and was a fool to think that would stop Lance, who tossed the first ratty shirt and pair of old shorts he could find at Keith’s head and told him to go change.

It was surprisingly difficult to adapt at first – not being ready to leap into action at a moment’s notice. Not falling asleep prepared and sharp and lethal even on the edge of consciousness. Lance had noticed within the first two nights how much it threw Keith off and on the third night, made a show of positioning himself between Keith and the door when they climbed into bed. He promised that he wouldn’t let anything happen to him – _them_ , at Keith’s insistence – and reminded Keith again and again that it was over. It was all over now, something Keith still had trouble wrapping his mind around. “The only threat to the castleship remaining is you in a bad mood, babe,” Lance had informed him, brows pensive over teasing eyes and a smug grin.

Keith had rolled his eyes, but finally let himself relax into Lance’s night clothes – into the warm, calming scent of the soap they all used and _earth_. It had been nearly two weeks and he had never quite stopped.

“Hey, tiny,” Lance greeted from the bed, looking like he wanted to laugh, but saving his own skin by keeping that under control. Keith knew he probably looked like a drowned rat – hair wet and falling into his eyes and shirt too big over the ends of baggy boxers.

“Hey, fuckface,” Keith quipped. He forced himself away from the safety of the door and towards his boyfriend. He moved to sit beside Lance, but found himself startled when he was yanked by the hips to straddling Lance’s lap.

“Hey,” Lance said again, eyes lidded and content like Keith was his favorite thing to see. Keith’s name sat hanging in Altean from a chain against Lance’s chest, right over one of his deepest scars, safe and sturdy where it belonged, like Lance’s name under Keith’s shirt.

“Hey,” Keith echoed, relaxing in Lance’s hold as his shoulders tilted forward of their own accord. If there was one thing Keith had learned about Lance, it was that he liked things close. Everything honest in Keith did, too.

“Have a good time with Phyrah’s princess?” Lance asked conversationally.

“Yeah, it was awesome,” Keith answered hesitantly, telling himself not to stall. He’d had an entire long, contemplative shower to really stew in what Shiro – and everyone, by extension – had been trying to say to him. “So, I wanna talk to you.”

“Oh. Okay,” Lance breathed out, albeit a little nervously. “What about?”

“A few days ago, you asked me to go home with you.”

“I did,” Lance said slowly.

“And I realize I never really gave you an answer.”

“Fuck, Shiro talked to you, didn’t he?” Lance whined out, not so much annoyed as he was embarrassed. “He promised me he wouldn’t say anything, but I _knew_ I should have paid him money to butt the hell out–”

“Hey,” Keith uttered softly. He lifted his hands to Lance’s jaw and directed his head back up so he was looking at him. “No amount of money in this universe could ever make Shiro butt out of something.”

Lance chortled. “Especially involving you, huh?”

“Yeah, well,” Keith smiled. “My brother thinks I owe you an apology.”

“What? No, you don’t, Keith.”

“Yeah, I really do,” Keith insisted. “So, I’m sorry for not taking it seriously how much this all means to you.” He felt himself locking up, but one look at the slow-spreading smile on Lance’s face made him shake it off. “I’m sorry for… for almost letting my old experiences with people get in the way of this.”

“How much _you_ mean to me,” Lance corrected softly as Keith fondly rolled his eyes. He gently squeezed Keith’s hips in his hands. “You mean a lot to me, you know.”

“You mean a lot to me, too,” Keith told him. “Listen, I’m not used to all this boyfriend business. I’ve… never _been_ a boyfriend before. I’m used to flings. And, you know, like one-night stands, but never something so permanent. I’m still wrapping my mind around the permanency thing.” He shook his head as he realized he was rambling. Somewhere along the way, he had dropped his gaze thoughtfully to Lance shoulders. Willfully, he brought his gaze back up to Lance’s, which was of course, understanding. It still sent a wave of relief through Keith’s chest. “But I’m starting to understand it. I know I like the idea of being permanent with you.”

At that, his smile faltered. “ _That’s_ why you’re so freaked out,” he sighed out, sounding as relieved as Keith felt. “God, I was so scared that it was secretly because you were starting to regret dating me.”

“ _No_!” Keith protested quickly. Lazily, he rested his arms over Lance’s shoulders, knowing how soothing contact was for him. “ _God_ , no! I’d never regret anything with you, Lance. I’d never regret _you_. I’m just… kind of freaked about what’s going to happen. What _could_ happen. I’m anxious about messing it all up because I don’t know what I’m doing–”

“And therein lies the problem,” Lance interrupted, grin smug and languid and so frustratingly charming. “It’s the same reason why you’re such a stick in the mud.”

Keith balked. “Hey, _fuck you_ –”

“It’s because you always freak yourself out worrying about what might theoretically, possibly, maybe-someday happen instead of enjoying what’s happening now,” Lance told him with all the confidence and practicality of someone who had lived this very situation tens of thousands of times over.

“Is that so?” Keith challenged.

“It’s very so,” Lance continued, eyes crinkling at the sides as his smile stretched. “So, I need you to listen very closely to me because I’m about to give you some brilliant advice on how to deal with it: Stop it.”

“Jesus- _fucking_ -Christ,” Keith huffed, moving to climb off Lance’s lap. “My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.”

“That’s exactly right: boyfriend,” Lance chuckled, wrapping his arms tighter around Keith’s waist to prevent escape. “Your boyfriend who loves you a whole hecking lot, with all his big, strong, handsome heart no matter what, right? Right. So, stop stressing yourself out about what could go wrong and enjoy what’s going right with me.”

“Lance–” he started to protest, but then it _hit_ him. God, he made it sound so _simple_ , which made it all the more ridiculous that Keith had never considered that before. By nature, he always stressed about what was coming next. When the next time he would see his father was going to be, how he was going to make it into the Garrison, where Shiro was and how to find him, how to take down the fucking Galra. It had seemed that up until this point, his life hadn’t been designed to simply enjoy what was happening. But now….

“See?” Lance smirked at Keith’s silence. “Your boyfriend’s pretty smart, huh?”

Now he wanted to.

“No,” Keith deadpanned. Or at least, he meant to, but even he could hear how soft his voice sounded.

Lance scoffed, but smirked nonetheless. It made Keith’s heart squeeze in tight and then expand much too quick and he felt like he didn’t have room to breathe. “You’re not going to mess anything up, babe. In fact, you not knowing what you’re doing is a first for me, and I honestly find that so endearing?”

“Congratulations. You beat me one to, what, a thousand?”

“Shut the fuck up, my point is,” Lance rushed out, “you and me? We’re gonna be so fucking happy, we’re going to have to watch vets euthanize old dogs to feel normal. _Oh_! We could watch all those old Sarah Mclachlan videos about the abandoned and abused animals!”

Keith huffed an involuntary laugh, leaning forward to press his lips against Lance’s without really thinking, short and chaste. “You’re an idiot,” Keith sighed against his smile. Lance snorted, squeezed Keith’s hips again and Keith felt the most honest truth bubbling up from his chest. “Lance, I trust you.”

Lance had this smile that he seemed to reserve only for Keith. His teeth came together in a perfect grin. His nose scrunched and his eyes crinkled at the sides. Faint freckles smattering across his nose and cheeks reminded Keith of the stars in his eyes. Not for the first time, Keith thought this was the most beautiful boy in the universe. “One more time? Just for posterity’s sake, you know–”

“I _trust_ you, you jackass,” Keith repeated, watching Lance through sated eyes.

Dramatically, as was to be expected, Lance sighed. “Music to my ears, Red.” Just as dramatically, he leaned backward, Keith following him down until his head collided with the wall behind them and he jolted. “ _Ow_!”

Keith slapped his hand over his mouth. “ _Lance_!” He guffawed.

“Shut up,” Lance snapped, rubbing at the back of his head as he situated himself on his back.

“We were having such a nice moment,” Keith lamented teasingly. “Leave it to _you_ to ruin those.”

“You’re never gonna let me live down the bonding moment, are you?”

Fondly, Keith shook his head. “So,” Keith started, laughter dying down as he leaned over Lance. “Cuba together?”

And Lance beamed – outright _beamed_ – up at him as he pulled him down against his chest. “You bet your sweet ass, Cuba together.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I was trying to tell you earlier, you look really nice. Like. Captivating,” he decided, offering a smile to lessen the tension, but there was no mistake, even in the labyrinth of Keith’s mind, that Lance at least thought he was being entirely genuine.
> 
> “Captivating,” Keith tried for a chuckle that came out more shaky voice. “That’s what you’re going with.”
> 
> “’Cradled,’” Lance smirked. “And, yeah. Captivating.”
> 
> “You, too,” Keith said with some weird onrush of boldness brought on purely by his own confusion. He took the Blexan Water back into consideration.
> 
>  
> 
> Keith knows his situation with Lance is getting dangerous. Lance doesn't care.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part 2, get ready for two pining boys in love who are terrible at hiding it.
> 
> A HUGE thank you to kat-suki !![ (hit up this blog!!!)](http://kat-sukki.tumblr.com/) for helping me with all the Spanish!! You the real MVP!!

Keith would never call himself adaptable. He was stubborn and obdurate and hated change, like a crotchety old man. Shiro had no qualms telling him that, and he couldn’t even be mad about it, because Keith _knew_ he wasn’t adaptable. He was resilient, and knew how to be versatile, when it counted, and for a long time, that had been the extent of him.

As far as the extent of himself now, he just knew he was comfortable. And he knew it had a lot to do with Lance. And he knew things with him were headed off into some unknown, admittedly well-adapted, direction.

Of course, as soon as Keith could come to terms with that, Lance flipped it right onto its axis when he woke up one morning only speaking Spanish. Surprisingly enough, Hunk and Pidge acted like nothing was different. Hunk even spoke back to him, a little brokenly, but enough that they were obviously having conversations. Pidge also spoke to him, a little more eloquently, but like nothing was wrong.

Keith understood enough to know that Lance was, for the most part, alright, but wondered, guiltily, if perhaps he wasn’t helping Lance as much as he thought he was. The only person Lance had seen before he woke up like this was Keith, and to his knowledge everything had been fine. He’d even woken up in his bed this morning, meaning Lance had probably helped him to his room last night, half asleep.

But Lance squashed any doubts and feelings of guilt he had about possibly breaking Lance that night when, as usual, he knocked on Keith’s door.

“Hey, Lance,” Keith said slowly.

“Hey,” Lance said back, looking stiff, and uncomfortable. “I can’t sleep. Will you sit with me?”

“Oh,” Keith said, surprised. “Sure. Yeah. But – wait, I thought you weren’t talking to me.”

Lance started, then stopped immediately, smiled wryly. “Oh. No, that wasn’t about you, but I should have thought about it. I just… don’t really wanna talk much these days unless it’s Spanish.”

And if Keith was going to be honest, he didn’t understand that at all. But he did understand the faraway look in his eyes. Lance was looking right at him, but somehow right through him. He understood the need to retreat to something intimate and just for him.

“Okay,” Keith nodded. “Tonight, I can tell you about my family,” he offered.

Lance nodded with a crooked smile.

Of course, Keith didn’t like talking about his family or his past or anything about himself really, but for Lance, he could be adaptable. And it was hard, at first. Talking about his father and how little he actually knew about the man, and growing up putting Shiro in that place, instead. It was hard talking through his memories of Dianne and how she took him in and treated him like Shiro’s full brother rather than just half.

But, the longer he pushed through it, the longer he told himself it was only fair for Lance to know something about him, the easier it became.

And Lance never judged him. He never spoke. He let Keith talk himself tired this time until he vaguely registered the smell of earth and a bony shoulder blade against the side of his face before everything went quiet and dark.

Keith had the thought, far away and dazed through his mind as he dreamed that Lance was good. He and Lance were good.

When the morning came, he woke up in his bed again and wondered when his life had become so much like a dream. He got dressed and groomed, walked himself to the kitchens only to find Lance still speaking only Spanish when he got there.

And he hated himself for feeling slightly disappointed, but he tried to be supportive. He knew they were all going through a lot.

He spoke to Hunk and Pidge during the days, spoke slowly enough that Keith could keep up, then sat silent at night while Keith did all the talking until the next thing Keith knew, it had been four days.

And Keith had never been the best judge on healthy amounts of space to give, but all he knew was that he missed _Lance_. He missed talking and having Lance talk back to him. He missed knowing everything Lance was saying all the time.

Keith vaguely knew what time it was, when he found himself knocking at Lance’s door, knew it was probably too late for Keith to be starting this now, but he didn’t care. He didn’t care about anything that wasn’t trying his best to help his friend and fix whatever this was.

Lance didn’t seem surprised to see him there. “Keith,” he said, almost warily.

“Lance, you have to talk to me,” Keith rushed out, with no control over his mouth. He pushed lightly past Lance into his room and stood right in the center of it, demanding attention.

“ _I am_ ,” Lance muttered, eyes on the ground as the door whooshed closed behind him.

“No, you’re not, you’re talking _at_ me, and that’s real different from you talking _to_ me!” Keith huffed. “You talking _at_ me _sucks_!”

Lance drew back like he’d been hit. A scowl set on his features. “ _Perdón pero en este momento necesito el español. Y si de verdad quieres hablar conmigo, aprendelo._.”

Keith paused a moment, tried to separate the words in his mind only to come up half short, but understanding the gist. “No one was stopping you from speaking it before! You could have been speaking it this whole time instead of using it to isolate yourself from us like you are now!” Keith sighed, tired and sad now. “And I’ll have you know, I _did_ learn it. Kind of. I learned as much as Pidge could teach me in two days.”

“ _Maldito pelo raro, siempre tienes que meterte en los asuntos de otros_ ,” Lance groaned.

“Hey!” Keith snapped. “I know you said stupid, and I know you said something about my hair!” He sent Lance a glare that Lance quickly returned, just as angry, just as heated. “Fine,” Keith growled. “I’m not leaving until you _talk to me_.” With that he walked to Lance’s bed and plopped himself down.

Lance looked guilty for all of two seconds before he was back to glaring as he sat right beside him, silent, annoyingly content, and not cracking at all.

“I really hate when you pull shit like this,” Keith said in a last-ditch effort, tried the last trick up his sleeve.

“ _Sí_ ,” Lance said back, monotone, unimpressed.

And Keith was both stubborn, and coming up blank for what to say next until: “ _Pollo_ ,” burst out of his mouth.

“ _Que_?” Lance chuckled lightly. “ _Claro, Pidge solo tuvo dos días y tú eres estúpido_.”

“Stop calling me stupid!” Keith snapped. “ _Trabajando_ ,” he amended.

“ _Entonces deja de actuar como uno_ ,” Lance insisted, though admittedly, beginning to look a little amused.

“ _Gilipollas_ ,” Keith smirked, starting to grin as Lance began to look scandalized.

“ _¿Apuesto a que eso fue lo primero que te enseñó Pidge?_ ” He exclaimed. He sounded so comical, Keith felt his own anger dissipate.

He’d only caught Pidge’s name from that, but again, he got the gist, and from straight out of the book of Pidge, he reached all the way back to grade school and went full-level tenth-grade Spanish II student. “ _Tienes treinta y siete pendejos_.”

And Lance, honest-to-God _guffawed_ , not much unlike a tenth-grade Spanish II student. “ _Te odio_ ,” he choked out.

“No, you don’t,” Keith assured him knowingly, “and also, _tienes treinta y siete pendejos.”_

“Keith,” Lance snorted out in some kind of disbelief and it made Keith laugh right back.

“ _Treinta y siete pendejos_ ,” he insisted. “ _treinta y siete pendejos, treinta y siete pendejos,_ and _treinta y siete pendejos… mas_.”

“Fuck, come on, Keith,” Lance snickered, and it was honestly _beautiful_.

“Come on, _what_?” Keith grinned, excitement getting the best of him.

“You’re so stupid,” Lance laughed and laughed and laughed. “You just kept chanting ’thirty-seven assholes!’”

“But it worked,” Keith said smug and soft, unintentionally soft.

“Huh,” Lance said thoughtfully, like he hadn’t thought of it as a goal of Keith’s. His smile turned slow and thoughtful. “Yeah, I guess it did. I’m sorry. I know it seemed like I was just being an asshole, but I wasn’t. Hunk gets it. He’s lived with me for years now.”

“Well, I’m not Hunk,” Keith told him, something that he hadn’t realized was weighing so heavily on him. “I want to get it, too.”

Lance crashed like a dam. “I don’t want to forget Spanish,” he admitted in one breath. “It’s dumb. I know it’s _stupid_ , but Spanish is a part of myself that no one gets to interact with out here. Half of my culture is gone. Back on Earth. I don’t want to forget my family, or… my heritage. I don’t want to lose that part of myself.”

“Lance, that’s not _dumb_ ,” Keith stressed, almost affronted, calming down once he realized he sounded kind of angry. “That’s. Really nice. That you have something you wanna keep close to you like that. That you have something you’d fight to keep with you like that. It sucks not knowing everything you’re saying all the time, but I don’t want you to lose it either.”

“Yeah?” Lance asked slowly, watching Keith too knowingly for his liking.

“It’s late and I’m tired,” Keith huffed.

“Uh-huh,” Lance nodded overtly. “Of course, I could always teach you.”

“ _Spanish_?” Keith squawked.

“Yeah,” Lance shrugged like it was no big deal. Like he hadn’t just gone on and on about it being one of his lifelines. Like he wasn’t, in a way, saying that no matter how he was feeling, he wanted Keith to be able to talk to him. “Why not?”

“Okay,” he agreed slowly, mind blank enough to not think about it when his mouth said: “ _tienes treinta y siete pendejos_ ,” entirely without him.

“And, I take it back, take it right back,” Lance grinned. “You don’t deserve it.”

They fell into a content silence in which Keith couldn’t stop thinking how crazy it was that there was ever a time they weren’t there for each other. Odds were, it was eons in the past for Lance, while it was embarrassingly always somewhere in Keith’s mind that they hadn’t always been like this. That something could change at any time to revert them back. That Lance hadn’t always liked him. That maybe somewhere deep down, he still didn’t.

Somewhere deep down, it _broke_ Keith. “Lance, can I ask you something?”

“Hm,” Lance hummed noncommittally, unaware of Keith’s doubts and anxieties at least for the next two seconds.

“Just…. I know you remember the bonding moment, so why did you say you didn’t? Why did you used to hate me so much?”

Keith watched Lance go completely still. He wouldn’t look away from the glass, or move, or blink so, Keith continued.

“Since you’re talking to me. Back at the Garrison–” He didn’t know how to say it. He shrugged, frustrated. “I just… could never figure out what I did.”

Lance looked over at him, then, surprised and scandalized and a thousand other things Keith wasn’t prepared to process. “But you don’t remember me.”

“Lance, of course, I remember you.” Keith looked away. “I _lied_. I just told you I didn’t because back then, I really wished I didn’t. I didn’t want to see you. The last person I wanted to see was someone who hated me so much.”

“I never hated you.”

“Could have fooled me.”

“No, listen, I _didn’t_. Okay, listen, I’m exhausted and that’s what I’m chalking this down to, but on the first day of class, you said this really cool thing. And everyone just stared at you. We’d all heard about you. You made it in on that scholarship we all wanted. You were supposed to be, like, the best and the brightest and, you know, better than all of us. And you were _hella_ intimidating. I thought – look, you didn’t have this stupid _mullet_ back then and I thought you were cool, okay?”

“Cool,” Keith echoed.

“Yeah, yeah,” Lance nodded it off. Keith knew he thought he was teasing him, but he _wasn’t_. “I saw you and I thought ‘holy shit, this kid’s got it all together.’ But – please don’t take this the wrong way – I thought you looked kinda lonely. I thought I’d make friends with you. I tried to talk to you after class about what you said. I just wanted to say… hi. _God_ ,” he laughed to himself, tired and embarrassed. “But you walked right by me. And I don’t know, it was probably nothing. But I was so young and stupid and I thought you were just another person thinking I wasn’t… good enough for them. The Garrison was this huge dream of mine. And I worked so hard and I barely made it in. And you breezed right through and you were great at everything and if _you_ couldn’t even spare me a passing glance then who the fuck was I supposed to be?”

Keith’s mouth had gone dry, tongue turned to cotton long ago. Lance had never hated him. Lance had seen him and hadn’t written him off. Lance had wanted Keith’s approval. Lance had just wanted to _talk_ to him. “I thought you were trying to pick a fight,” Keith explained, voice shaky. “I just didn’t want to be the trouble kid for once. I wanted to be normal. Big dream. Big, ironic dream.”

“I said I didn’t remember it to get back at you. Because…. I mean, you had to know I’d be embarrassed. I sat there in a loopy daze telling you again and again how much I wished I could be like you. I told you I just wanted you to like me and you looked at me like you felt _sorry_ for me.”

“Lance, I didn’t feel sorry for you. If you had any idea what was going through my head most the time, you’d know that meant the world to me, you idiot,” Keith said, too candid. He couldn’t care. “Then you took it away from me like it was nothing. You said you thought we make a good team, and I waited for you to wake up and… we’d be different. But you took it away. Why is it so hard for you to believe that I _did_ like you? You were a lot less of an asshole once we became paladins.”

“I didn’t think you knew I was alive,” Lance uttered, slow and deep and meaningful and so much deeper than Keith was prepared for. “At least as far as the Garrison was concerned.”

“Well,” Keith cleared his throat. “I did. You were hard to miss.”

Lance beamed and Keith felt his face going hot at the feeling that something much bigger had been resolved here.

“You know, Hunk stopped me in the hall once,” Keith remembered, to keep conversation going. “Told me to give you a chance or… something.”

“Oh, my God, I remember that!” Lance exclaimed. “I was right there and he wouldn’t tell me what he said to you! I thought I was going to have to kill my best friend – wait was _that_ all he told you?!”

“Yeah,” Keith nodded slowly. “Just said you were an idiot, but you’re not so bad underneath or something. He almost changed my mind, but you were such a jackass.”

“Oh no,” Lance murmured. “I’m so sorry, I was an idiot.”

“You know, when Hunk told me that, I thought that in another lifetime, maybe you and me could have been friends.”

Lance smiled, smug but sincere. “Well, here we are. In another lifetime. Of sorts.”

“Looks like it,” Keith shrugged, keeping down his smile.

“Oh, come on, Keith don’t make me beg.”

“Don’t know what you’re going on about now.”

“We’re literally already besties! Let me have this! Do it for Hunk!”

“See that’s the thing, I could agree to this, but this feels like the type of thing you’ll just claim to forget later and talk about with Hunk like I’m crazy,” Keith smirked.

Lance blanched, then blushed within a second. Keith’s face was beginning to hurt from smiling so much. “I won’t! _Vamos, Keith, por favor, por favor, por favor, por favor, por favor, por favor, por favor_ –!”

“Lance, I swear to _God_!” Keith yelled, trying and failing miserably to suppress the grin on his face. “Jesus, _fine_! But I’m doing it for Hunk, not for you.”

Lance paused mid-yell, face morphing very quickly from insistent to _victorious_ as his jaws snapped shut, his posture relaxed, and his shoulders slumped forward. Keith’s reflexes urged him to lean back at the realization of how close Lance had gotten, but not a single muscle in his body let him. “ _Hunk_ ,” Lance echoed, eyebrows raised in false surprise. “Good. Cool. Hunk is… cool. Good guy. Reflects well upon me,” he smiled crookedly. Keith rolled his eyes and could swear Lance leaned in a little closer. “ _No te arrepentirás_.”

*

Keith and Lance weren’t bothered until the castleship was about to make contact with Earth and not a moment sooner, per Lance’s embarrassingly candid request.

Keith hadn’t really seen any of the other Paladins aside from meals and bathroom visits. Lance could be really persuasive when he wanted to be.

Their time together ended abruptly to the sound of an angry fist against their door.

“Get out here, assholes,” Pidge called through the door, startling. “We’re contacting Earth and Hunk is crying!”

Keith watched Lance’s face light up at the sound of Earth. “Shit, _I’m_ about to be crying,” Lance murmured, pulling Keith back to him.

“And I’m sure I don’t have to tell you guys to make yourselves presentable,” Pidge continued. “I’m lookin’ at you, Lance.”

“Yeah, yeah, get away from our door!” Lance yelled back, causing Keith to shake his head, smiling fondly.

“We’re coming, Pidge,” Keith called out. Pidge didn’t answer, headed back to the control room, presumably. He attempted to climb over Lance, but was thwarted when Lance wound his arms back around his middle. “Lance,” Keith sighed, keeping his face turned away to hide his undoubtedly reddening face. “We’ve been at it for days, man.”

“I know, right?” Lance said in his ear, voice low and cocky, and sure of himself.

“Get up, asshole,” Keith smirked. He grabbed clean clothes off the desk and headed for the bathroom. He slipped into black jeans and, on his one-handed search for the hairbrush, caught himself in the mirror and _froze_. “Lance!” He yelled, voice just as low and angry as he wanted it to be.

“Uh,” Lance murmured, hesitant and sounding like he knew exactly what the problem was here. “Yeah, babe?”

“Take a good guess why I’m mad,” Keith griped, leaning halfway out of the bathroom to glare at his stubborn boyfriend. “Do you see me?!” He demanded, gesturing wildly to his chest and neck. “I am _covered in hickeys_! I told you to try not to leave marks on me!”

“And I did!” Lance argued, rising on long, brown legs off the bed with a sheepish grin on his face. “I _tried_.”

Keith tried and failed not to smile in response, but he felt it, small and obdurate curving up his face before he could hide it. “I don’t want to go out there like this,” he griped quickly. “All covered in hickeys like a horny teenager.”

“Did you really not leave any on me?” Lance puzzled, shoving past Keith to get into the bathroom. His boxers hung low, so low, around his slim hips – a rude interruption, in Keith’s opinion – of the broad, brown expanse of Lance’s battle-scarred skin.

“No. I’m considerate,” Keith huffed, finding a shirt and slipping his necklace under it.

“Well, if you got to look at what I get to look at next to me all day, all bets would be off for you, too,” Lance winked in the mirror.

“Not true,” Keith argued, for the sake of arguing. “I get to look at _you_. And I still found some self-control.”

“Yeah, uh-huh, what’s this?”

Keith could hear the mischief in his voice. He hesitated in answering, slowly pulling his shirt on over his head, even more slowly securing his boots. Finally, he turned back around to face the bathroom. Lance was hanging out the door with distractingly bare shoulders and that _grin_. That smug grin that made his eyes narrow and his teeth gleam taunting danger.

“What’s what?” Keith asked dumbly, looking over at their joined closet.

“This suspiciously mouth-shaped bruise on my shoulder,” Lance continued, like he had just been waiting oh-so-patiently for Keith to ask.

“Suspicious. Yeah,” Keith coughed. “You got that bruise on Vymra when you were rolling around all over the ground with those kids, remember?”

“Through my armor?” Lance raised an eyebrow.

“Beats me,” Keith shrugged.

“You know it’s not like I didn’t feel this when it was happening, dude,” Lance laughed, stepping out of the doorway. “And it’s not like I don’t know you have a thing for my shoulders.”

“Alright _fine_ , so one hickey!” Keith surrendered, arms flying out, then back down in frustration and slight embarrassment. “I left you _one hickey_! And no one’s even gonna see it, so I still have more self-control than you!”

“In case you’re wondering,” Lance laughed softly, closing the distance between them, dropping heavy hands down onto his shoulders, “this is why you have hickeys. You’re adorable and I can’t resist you and you should _know_ you’re adorable and I can’t resist you.”

“Okay, well now, everyone’s gonna know that,” Keith huffed, crossing his arms as he tried to fight down the swooning with a glare. “So, I’m gonna wear your jacket to hide it and you have to deal with it.”

Lance paused for a moment where his eyes went noticeably wider and his smile ticked up just a little wider before he gave Keith’s shoulders a light squeeze. “Fine, I’ll deal with it, I suppose,” he lamented finally, dramatically. “But, like, only because you’re adorable and I can’t resist you–”

Keith sighed and pushed his lips up onto Lance’s, then dropped down as he squeezed lightly at the bruise on Lance’s shoulder. “Same, I guess,” he smirked mischievously, eating up the surprise and slight affront in his boyfriend’s eyes.

Lance finally got himself dressed, then they left as Keith pulled Lance’s hood up over his head for the third time, after having smacked Lance’s hand twice when he yanked it down. “I’m not holding your hand,” Keith told him moments later when Lance thrust out his own.

“Good opinion,” Lance chuckled as he scooped up Keith’s hand anyway. “ _Wrong_ , but good, strong opinion.”

Keith leaned his head against Lance’s shoulder, couldn’t tell which one of them laced their fingers together. “We’re that disgustingly sweet couple that everyone hates, aren’t we?”

“Yep,” Lance said, voice light and airy like he couldn’t be more content. “It’s always been a goal of mine.”

“Of course, it has,” Keith murmured fondly, feeling pretty content, himself.

“Well,” Pidge started breezily, as they rounded the corner into the control room, “aren’t you two gross?” Just behind her, on the main screen, was a man in a NASA uniform staring at the two of them as they entered. The first thing to register in Keith’s mind was that he was a _human,_ jarring, since he was the only one outside the five of them that any of them had seen in nine years. He seemed to have been in the middle of a sentence before their arrival (and Pidge’s taunt) interrupted him into stunned, open-mouthed silence.

Despite all that, Lance still smirked in retaliation to Pidge’s jab. “Jealousy’s an ugly thing, isn’t it, Pidge?”

“Guys, seriously? Now?” Shiro demanded, sounding exasperated. He turned back to face the man on the main screen.

He was wearing a pair of glasses over a straight nose. Brown eyes scanned the room for a second, then landed on Keith and Lance, finally settling on the latter. “You must be Lance McClain,” the man said.

“Uh, yeah,” Lance nodded slowly. Keith tried to unwind their fingers but Lance held tighter. “And this is Keith Kogane.”

“I’m Travis.” The man turned to Keith then, offering a polite smile that quickly turned sheepish. “You weren’t a student at the Garrison on the night you all disappeared, right?” His nametag said Michaels in raised needlepoint, sewn onto his uniform shirt. He looked to be, for all the world, trying to find the nicest way to ask Keith just who the hell he was.

“Yeah, I left,” Keith said shortly. “I was only there to look into some weird activity I picked up that night and I found Shiro at the Garrison strapped to a gurney. And then the others found me, and the Garrison was after us, and we had to run.”

“Right.” Travis turned his eyes back onto Shiro. “And you two are brothers, right?”

“That’s right,” Shiro answered, sending a reassuring glance back at Keith.

“As you can imagine, this is really big,” Travis breathed out. “It shouldn’t take us too long to notify all the proper channels of the situation, but in the meantime, we’ll contact your families. We’ll get back to you all about more specifics soon.”

“Hey, hey, wait, Travis!” Lance blurted.

Travis jumped slightly, startled at the sudden urgency of Lance’s voice. “Yeah, what is it?”

“Is it–?” Lance started, laughed nervously, then tried again. “I mean, when I was – _No_ , okay on Earth, are there st–? _You know_ , the–!”

As surprised as Keith was to see Lance utterly speechless, Shiro was faring far worse, jaw actually hanging open for a second before turning back to the screen. “Yeah, get back to us on the specifics when you can,” he said quickly.

“Yeah, sit tight.” With that, Travis disconnected and all eyes turned to Lance.

“What the fuck was that?” Matt laughed.

“Oh, my God, _no_ ,” the Blue Paladin groaned, hiding his face in his hands.

“Wait, Lance,” Keith uttered slowly as realization dawned on him. “Lance, were you _fangirling_?”

“Dude, _yes_ , fucking _yes_!” Lance yelled emphatically.

“Well, what in the world were you trying to ask him?” Pidge snickered.

“For a second I knew, and then I opened my mouth and he just kept looking at me and I couldn’t close my mouth!” Lance shouted, words tumbling out clumsily in a nearly incomprehensible pile of audible mush. His babbling could have been entirely lost to all of them but Hunk if not for the fact that Keith had become well versed in all types of Lance-speak by now, even panic-induced strains.

“Wow, you are really flustered,” Keith smiled.

“I am _not_!” Lance insisted, dropping his hands from his face.

“Your face is red!” Hunk guffawed. “How are you blushing right now?! You’ve only ever blushed over Keith in the last five years! You took out Haggar like it was nothing but you can’t look Travis from NASA in the eye, is this real life?!”

“Lance, that’s so adorable,” Shiro commented, moving forward, surely, to lay a comforting, patronizing hand on his shoulder.

“Did you know him specifically?” Allura asked, puzzled as she shrugged and stepped closer to Shiro.

“Couldn’t have,” Coran decided. “He would have mentioned it before now, he tells me everything. But you’ve never acted like that around me and I’m the one you look up to most in the universe,” he mused.

“I’ll never let you live it down, but you’re honestly so precious,” Pidge sneered.

Lance’s face grew ever redder under their scrutiny and he avoided everyone’s gaze, even Keith’s, who smirked as Lance’s ears tinged pink. “Yeah, my boyfriend’s pretty cute.”

Lance _balked_. “Guys, that was _fucking NASA_!”

From around Lance, Keith locked eyes with Shiro who gave him a short nod, and then jerked his head back a tick. Flicking his eyes that direction Keith gathered that Shiro wanted to have a talk. Silently, he followed after him, hearing as Coran finally came to Lance's defense.

The automatic doors slid shut behind them as Keith leaned impatiently against the wall. He could read Shiro like a poster and he knew he wasn’t necessarily going to like this talk.

Shiro didn’t pull any punches, sighing as he levelled Keith an understanding sheepish look. “Looks like we're gonna have to talk to Dad.”

It was different now that Shiro had said it out loud, now that the words were out permeating the air. True, he was their father, but he had never really been “Dad.” Shiro had called him that out of respect back on Earth, when it was easier for everyone if they referred to the man as such, but that wasn’t the case anymore. Keith was grown. He didn’t need him and he never had. Feigning indifference to all these things, Keith shrugged. “Maybe you do, but I don’t.”

Shiro didn’t look necessarily disappointed, but he definitely didn’t approve. “Keith, come on.”

“What, are you going to _make_ me talk to him?” Keith pressed, crossing his arms.

“I’m not going to make you do anything, I just think we should."

“Why do _you_ want to? Don’t tell me you think he's changed.”

“No. In fact, I’d be really surprised if he did, but just consider that maybe he was worried. We both were gone for nine years. We were all he had.”

“Didn’t stop him from treating us like shit.”

“I just don’t think it'll hurt anything. It might give us some kind of closure, I don’t know. Maybe he'll even want to make it up to us.”

Keith mustered all the honesty and stubbornness he could into his expression and stared Shiro unwaveringly in the eyes. “I don’t want anything from him, and I really, really mean that.”

Shiro stared back, just as honestly, but there was understanding in his gaze. “Okay. I get it. You don’t have to say anything. I can do all the talking if you even want to see him,” he explained over Keith’s sigh because that was the _thing_.

Keith _did_ want to see him, if only to know that the man knew how to pretend like they mattered to him. It made him angry that he _did_ want to see him as hurt and angry and miserable as he had left them. “Fine. You do all the talking though. He’s not worth the breath, but if you let me talk, I’ll probably just yell.”

Shiro gave a cautious smile, like if he did anything more, Keith might change his mind. “Alright,” he nodded. Then he laughed softly. “I’ll admit, though, I was being a little dishonest about why I really want to do this. I’ll probably feel a little bad about it later, but I want him to have to look both of us in the eye and know that we lived and moved on. We did this great thing and we didn’t need him once.”

Keith looked at his brother, felt himself smiling. “Vengeance. _That’s_ a reasoning I can get behind.”

*

It had been a few days coming, but Coran and Pidge had finally managed to convince the princess to dock the ship on a small, out-of-the-way planet. No amount of denial or insistence, even on Allura’s part, could hide the fact that the castleship was slowing down.

Luckily, when it came to Coran and bad news, there tended to also come good news: Pidge had been able to find a renewable resource that should solve the problem on a planet not too terribly far from them. It would only take about four hours to get there with one of the lions. Since it was only a gathering mission, it wouldn’t require any more than two of them.

“I’ll go,” Shiro volunteered.

“Cool, me too!” Lance exclaimed, with an enthusiasm that really should have been expected, but somehow wasn’t. Lance had never hidden his admiration for the Black Paladin as well as he wanted to. “I’ll go, too,” he said more calmly.

“Well, then, that settles it!” Coran breezed. “Are you both okay with leaving as soon as possible?”

As quickly as it was brought up, Shiro and Lance were ready to depart and save the castleship. It didn’t require much fanfare. It shouldn’t have anyway, but Keith couldn’t not see them off. Lance shot him finger guns that shouldn’t have been as endearing as they were.

With the ship on reserved power, the rest of the paladins were pressed to find ways to spend their time. Keith was reluctant to use the training deck to pass the time, so he wound up watching Pidge and Hunk peter around with the tech supply they kept on standby.

That eventually turned into card games, turned into listening to confusing stories from Coran, turned into listening to Coran and Allura reminisce about Altea, turned into all of them reminiscing about home.

Hours passed and Keith realized he had no idea when they were supposed to be back.

“It’s getting late,” Pidge remarked quietly while Hunk, Coran and Allura were talking and distracted. “Sure you’re getting antsy. If it comes down to it, you can gaze lovingly at the stars with me tonight.”

“Pidge, _please_ ,” Keith huffed.

“I’m getting a little worried,” Allura said suddenly. Keith shot her a look, wondering if she had been eavesdropping, but nothing on her face gave her away, not that it would. “I’m going to call them.”

Pidge nudged and winked at Keith the entire way to the bridge.

Shiro answered immediately, face large on the full screen. “We haven’t found it yet, but there’s not a whole lot of places it could be. We should be back in a day or two for sure.”

“Try not to miss us too much!” Lance advised them, all of them, but something in Keith made him feel like it was just for him.

That night, he stayed up talking conspiracy theories with Pidge while Hunk tried to poke holes in every single one of them until they fell asleep on the couch together.

Keith was sure Shiro and Lance would be on their way back, but with no word from then for another half a quintent, Allura opted to call them again. It took Shiro a while to come in, and when he did, it wasn’t clear, which was slightly worrying, but overall, better than nothing. Shiro was coming in and out, the video fading, fuzzing up and his voice faded in and out, but they were able to communicate.

Lance was chattering on and on in the background the entire time, having found some strange animal he probably shouldn’t have been messing with. “He’s been making friends with just about every living creature we come across,” Shiro explained a little wryly, though he looked fond.

Something about it eased the tension settling in Keith’s chest. Lance couldn’t not look at someone new and immediately become friends with them.

“Are you any closer to finding it?” Allura asked, looking worried the more Shiro and Lance fuzzed in and out of focus.

“It’s weird,” Lance answered this time. “We were pretty sure we made it everywhere there was to look, but apparently not. We’re going to keep looking. It should be easier to find a second time around.”

“I don’t like this,” Allura told them, crossing her arms as her face turned thoughtful.

“Yeah,” Keith agreed. “This is… really weird.”

“Don’t worry,” Shiro reassured them, though Keith knew his brother and he knew when he was putting on a brave face. “We’ll be fine. We’ll contact you back tomorrow when we’ve found it.” He ended the transmission, the abruptness of which, definitely told them something was going on.

“Something’s screwy,” Hunk murmured. “I’m getting worried.”

“There, there, paladins,” Coran said slowly, keeping a calm tone. “Now, I’ll admit it’s strange. But let’s give it one more day. If they haven’t found it by next time, we’ll know something’s up. They’re paladins of Voltron! They’re strong.”

“Sure, it’s rational but,” Allura trailed off, before groaning. “Fine. We’ll see. But I’m going to get prepared.”

When Allura stalked off for the training deck, Keith followed Pidge and Hunk to Pidge’s room with plans to research the planet again.

It was easy to reassure themselves in the morning, though reluctantly, that Shiro and Lance would be fine this time. Allura made the call over breakfast as the rest of them watched on a little nervously.

The call went unanswered, quickly transforming Keith’s slight nervousness to a nearly full-blown panic. “Oh, my God,” he murmured.

“Allura, what if–?” Hunk started.

“It’s fine, paladins!” Allura said quickly, though she didn’t sound so sure. And she wouldn’t turn to face them. “We can’t panic. We’ll think about this rationally and come up with a–”

“Princess?!”

Keith snapped his head up to see Shiro, fully clear which was strange enough along with the panicked look on his face. He looked sweaty and he was breathing hard and ragged through his mouth like he’d been running. A pit formed in Keith’s stomach.

“Shiro!” Allura exclaimed. “Shiro what’s happened?!”

“I-I don’t know!” Shiro rushed out. “We though we found it, but it – it wasn’t. It all turned – and something – _happened_! And so we ran, but he wasn’t there when I turned around and I don’t know _where_ –!”

_Lance…._

“I’ve been looking for hours, but something just charged at me and I don’t know if it somehow–” Keith couldn’t hear anymore.

_Lance is… gone?_

How was he gone? How was he just _gone_? Where was he? What if he–? Keith _couldn’t_ – he had to get him back, he had to get there, he had to–

“Keith, did you hear me?” Allura demanded, standing before him, gently shaking him by the shoulders. “Keith, I know you’re worried about Shiro–” Keith noticed then that his brother was no longer on the screen. He shook his head, unsure of where he’d just been in his mind while his own brother was before him panicking. “–but you must focus!”

“We have to go get them,” Keith rasped.

“Yes, we’re working out the logistics of–”

“I’ll go,” Keith told her.

“Hold your horses, first we have to find the damn place!” Pidge snapped. Keith trailed behind Allura as they scrambled behind Pidge and Hunk at their screens. Pidge was snappy and irritated which was telling enough.

“I thought you knew the coordinates,” Coran puzzled.

“I can’t find it!” Pidge yelled. “Nothing! Not even a reading, and I _know_ these are the coordinates! It should be right here!”

“What does this mean?” Keith demanded.

“It means I fucked up!” Pidge yelled, eyes as watery as her voice was strong. “It means I could have gotten our friends killed!”

“Pidge!” Hunk yelled, dropping a large hand against her shoulder. She looked up to him with big, sad eyes and Hunk softened his tone. “You didn’t do anything wrong, you were trying to save the ship. Don’t get stuck on that, because now we need to save them.”

In the days that followed, they split up the task of finding the planet. Hunk and Keith went scouting in Yellow and Red to no avail. They even visited among other planets to see if the inhabitants would know anything which also turned out to be fruitless. No other aliens had even heard of the planet in question.

Allura and Coran kept near constant contact with Shiro when they could connect with him. He didn’t go static-y again, but he was always terribly shaken, having become discouraged the longer he wandered around for Lance and couldn’t find him.

Pidge obsessed over her coordinates, skipping meals and losing sleep until finally, at the end of her rope, something went right.

“I figured it out,” Pidge marveled unevenly after the other paladins had rushed to her at her call. “I fucking figured it out!” She turned back to her screen, glasses bright blue with the reflection of it. “Look!” She pointed to a small round planet sitting at the very coordinates Pidge had memorized. “I knew I had it right! I couldn’t find it because the planet can _cloak itself_.”

When the others were too stunned to react, she continued.

“The planet is alive, like the Balmera, but dangerous,” she explained. “It’s the fucking _Venus Flytrap_ of planets. The renewable resource we need is just one of the thousands of promising vegetation it grows. It waits. People touch down, then it strikes. No one ever finds them, probably.”

“Well, we’re going to find them,” Coran promised hands at his sides like a poised soldier.

“Send us the coordinates,” Hunk urged Pidge, picking up his helmet. “Keith and I can head–”

A shrill incessant beeping sounding from behind them, across the room on the large screen and Allura ran for it. “That’s Shiro,” she said, answering the call. “Shiro, Pidge was able to–”

“I found him!” Shiro interrupted. He was a sweaty mess, hair ruffled and face dirty, but there was a smile making him look ten years younger. “I found him,” he said again, breathing hard like he was running. “You can’t – see him, but he’s in my arms. He’s unconscious, but he’s breathing. I’m taking us to Black and we’re getting the hell out of here. He was….”

Shiro kept talking, but Keith couldn’t hear him. He stood next to Hunk in case he fell over from all the released adrenaline slowing him down. He couldn’t hear anything over the blood rushing in his ears and he had the thought that he should say something but decided against it. He didn’t even have the words.

“We’ll be back in a few hours.”

The blood rushing around his head slowed down to let him hear that much.

It was hard to think that after all this, he still had time to kill, but he killed it staring up at the ceiling on his bed, arms stretched out wide as he tried to get a hold of himself, but he still felt so numb.

He’d almost lost Lance. They all had.

He would absorb that that wasn’t the case once Lance made it back. He told himself it was okay that it didn’t feel real – that he could barely move, that he was still scared – until then.

Keith heard when Shiro and Lance made it back. He heard Hunk yelling and Pidge swearing. He never made the decision to leave his room and find them, just caught himself on the move. He thought he could keep his emotions hidden, but it all went out the window when he saw Shiro walk onto the bridge with _Lance_ on his heels. The minute he saw him, he was running.

“ _Lance_!” he exclaimed before he could think about it.

Lance looked up and they locked eyes. Keith felt himself closing distance like a freight train, but stopped himself right before they could collide, suddenly feeling awkward and unsure of what to do with himself.

Lance had taken off his armor, remaining in the black suit underneath, thin and wiry and vulnerable and Keith was a mess of protective fury. _Are you hurt? What happened? Where were you? Why couldn't Shiro find you? Why were you separated? Were you scared and alone this whole time? Why couldn't Shiro reach you? I thought you were dead! Don't ever scare me like that again!_

“Are you hurt?” slipped out in a quiet, nervous mumble.

“No, dude. Perfectly fine, alright?” The smirk slowly curved his face, but it didn’t reach his eyes. “I’m all good, Keith. I’m a Paladin of Voltron – I don't go down that easy–”

“I thought you were dead,” Keith blurted out, eyes level and unwavering despite his nervousness. He wanted to crawl under a rock, or at least back to his room. _Don't ever scare me like that again._ He shut his eyes and clenched his fist to keep it in, but it was hard. _Don’t ever scare me like that again_. “I thought–” his voice caught in his throat at the sight of Lance stepping closer to him, of Lance winding his arms around his back and pulling him up against him.

He was chest-to-chest with Lance and breathing the air on his neck. He smelled like sweat and sand and still, somehow, _Earth_. Keith thought if he moved, he’d break it all. Still he whispered: “What are you doing?”

“Just get it out of your system,” Lance said softly.

He said it so calmly that it made Keith relax. Having Lance there and warm and alive and speaking and smiling and looking at him and holding him with his heart beating against his own made him relax. He folded his arms around Lance’s shoulders. “You’re okay,” he exhaled.

“Better than okay, Red,” Lance murmured, though that stupid smile was evident in his voice. “The adventure of a lifetime and at the end of it, _you_ in my arms?”

Something in Keith _jolted_ and he wanted to _hit_ him, he wanted to _kill_ him, he wanted to hold him tighter and never let him go. “For once in your life, can you stop _joking_?” he stressed. It was a defense mechanism for Lance, he knew. He’d long since accepted it and it was perfectly fine in the night when they had to pretend that their nightmares weren’t reality but not _now_. Not now.

Lance leaned back just so, enough that he could see his face and never loosen his hold on him. Tentative, and electric, and _new_ , he lifted a hand from Keith’s waist to slowly brush the bangs from Keith’s eyes. Lance was staring at him with an honesty that made him want to shut his. “Who’s joking?” Lance winked. His smile pulled up at the side, that crooked, _crooked_ grin sending heart palpitations through Keith’s chest but he didn't crack so much as a smile in return, he was so frustrated.

He was so frustrated, he felt it in his eyes – felt them begin to _sting_ with the thought that he could _strangle_ Lance and he’d still try to make a joke out of it. Lance faltered in his grin around the same time Keith realized he was being painfully transparent. He attempted, half-heartedly, to get away from Lance, to go crawling back to his room and stare at his ceiling until the blood stopped rushing in his ears, but Lance only pulled him tighter in.

One arm secure entirely around Keith’s middle, the other came up to wipe at Keith’s eyes. Keith blinked, mortified that all his life had amounted to _this_ : twenty-two years old _in space_ for fuck’s sake leaking frustration tears because of _Lance McClain._ “Wow,” he said, voice low and airy, just for them. “You were really worried, weren't you?”

Keith didn't answer. They both knew he didn’t have to.

He didn't know that everyone else had quietly left the room to give them space, that Lance was smiling something close to tender over his shoulder, that one of the main things that kept Lance alive and fighting was the thought of never seeing Keith again. He didn’t know that he clung to Lance without meaning to and that Lance clung right back in response.

“Promise you won’t ever do that again,” Keith said against the crook of his neck, voice wavering and genuine and desperate like he never wanted to feel again. Just this once, he didn't turn his brain off, or stop himself from thinking things.

He let himself be relieved and sad and happy and angry over Lance. He let the two of them hold each other like this even though neither of them knew what it meant quite yet. He let himself stay there between the crook of Lance’s shoulder and neck and feel how warm he was – how _alive_ he was.

He was sure his arms had to be heavy over Lance’s shoulders, but he didn’t seem to mind. He turned his head to rest over Keith’s like it was the most natural place for it. “Well, since I got the gem, I’m hoping I really don’t have to.”

Because _of course_ , Keith scoffed, Lance would put them through all this and nearly die, only to still come out on top, having performed a job well beyond well-done. “Cheeky bastard.”

“Oh, _Mullet_ ,” Lance’s voice came out playful, but soft and warm around the edges. Keith thought he’d melt. “Only the cheekiest for you.”

*

“Coran said Pidge and Hunk and even _Shiro_ freaked out over Travis from NASA just as much as I did,” Lance was saying – well, proclaiming, really – as he changed into his night clothes.

“I doubt it was _just_ as much, Lance.” Keith kept his back to his boyfriend as he slowly climbed onto the bed.

“It _was_ , Keith, _ask Coran_!”

“Holy shit, _fine_ ,” Keith exclaimed back through a loud laugh. Lance shot him an icy glare which only served to make him laugh harder. “What, are you gonna fight me?”

Determinedly, Lance dropped himself onto the bed and rolled until he landed hands-and-knees hovering over Keith. “You know, I know that you’re just agreeing to agree with me–”

“It’s true, I don’t believe for _one second_ that _anyone_ freaked out as much as you did–”

“Which is weird for you,” Lance continued, smiling thoughtfully, “like, _especially_ for you because you’ve never once agreed with me just for the hell of it–”

“I don’t think I’ve _ever_ seen you spaz out like you did over Travis from NASA, Lance,” Keith cackled. “And you got so defensive just now, like the only thing giving you hope was to _cling_ onto a very obvious lie from _Coran_ –!”

“ _Lie_?!” Lance screamed, very dramatically, and very much in Keith’s face. “I beg your _pardon_ , Kogane?!”

“ _You have to stop being so ridiculous_!” Keith yelled back, words broken through a new onslaught of uncontrollable laughter. “I can’t fucking breathe! I’m going to die right here in this bed and not even from sex!”

Lance’s serious expression lasted all of two seconds. “You know, I–!” Then, his façade fell just as he did, forward and onto Keith’s chest, alight with chuckles. “You’re such an asshole and I hate you.”

“I beg your pardon, McClain?” Keith deadpanned.

“Keith Kogane is the biggest asshole in the universe, pass it on,” Lance continued, lifting his head to smirk, oh so charmingly, down at Keith.

“Dick,” Keith chastised endearingly.

“Coran would never lie to me.”

“That’s what you take from this,” Keith scoffed. “Well, I don’t know about the others, but I will admit, I was freaking out a little too. On the inside. Obviously. I’m not some over-emotional, over-expressive idiot who–”

“ _Hey_!”

“–who can’t control the things that come out of his mouth,” Keith continued smugly. “Of course, I freaked out. It’s fucking NASA. _Travis_ from NASA, no less.”

“Shut up,” Lance laughed.

“And that’s a fucking huge deal. I’ve always wanted to talk to NASA.”

“ _Travis_ from NASA,” Lance grinned.

“Yeah. Yes. Exactly.” Keith allowed with an eye roll. “But you need to make a choice. You can’t go on loving both of us.”

“Right, right,” Lance nodded thoughtfully.

“I won’t settle for anything less than first choice.”

“No doubt, no doubt.”

“And I mean, I don’t care either way, you can do what you want,” Keith continued in a deadpan. “But, as you know, I have knives. And if you don’t choose me, I’ll find you and crazy-murder you.”

“I’ve known you for eleven years and really, really liked you for at least six of those,” Lance started, “and I still can’t all-the-way tell when you’re kidding or not, but what I’m choosing to take from that is that you love me. Like, a lot. Like, enough to crazy-murder me, at least.”

“At least,” Keith nodded, stony mask finally cracking.

“Ah, kidding,” Lance sighed dramatically, voice wracked with false relief as he leaned his head back against Keith’s shoulder. “Thank _God_.”

Again, Keith laughed. Again, and again, and again. It was all he was doing anymore, it seemed, something he hadn’t realized he had been, in this capacity, without. He’d told himself that his life had always been hard. Over the overwhelmingly more drastic and deadly majority of it, he’d been fighting a war, there was nothing to laugh about. It wasn’t something he would have noticed a distinct lack of. But now, looking over at the wild head of hair against his shoulder, feeling Lance breathe contentedly against his neck, Keith knew that wasn’t true.

Laughing this much, this freely, was what carefree people did. Carefree was how Lance made him feel.

“So, what were you and Shiro talking about out in the hall?” Lance murmured against his skin.

Scratch that about the laughing and the feeling carefree. “You saw that.”

“Of course, I did,” Lance chuckled softly, sitting back up to lean over him. “It was like three whole minutes you weren’t at my side.”

“We really need to spend more time apart, then.”

“Cheaply tries to change the subject.”

“Okay, well,” Keith sighed, dropping his gaze from Lances. He squirmed his way from under him as Lance fell to the side, letting him up. “Travis from NASA. He said that thing about contacting our families.”

“Ah,” Lance murmured in understanding. He joined Keith on the edge of the bed.

“So that means, me and Shiro are gonna have to talk to. Our dad.”

“And you’re feeling–?”

“Well,” Keith scoffed, looking out ahead of himself. “Pretty shitty. About… all of it. There’s some anxiety, and. Some rage. And some fury and frustration. And I really don’t want to have to do this.”

“If you don’t want to see him, then you don’t have to,” Lance said decidedly. “You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to.”

“But I fucking _do_ ,” Keith stressed. “That’s the thing. The only thing more of a disaster than this fucking situation is _me_. I _hate_ him, Lance! I will always fucking _hate_ that man and I should want nothing to do with any of this, but I want to see him just so I can be an _asshole_!”

Lance guffawed, causing Keith to snicker against his will.

“I’m serious.”

“Oh, I know, babe. Believe me, I know.”

“I wanna do the equivalent of a fucking _gut punch_ through the screen he’s gonna be on in a few days by standing there and looking at him look at me and saying fucking _nothing_.”

“Yeah?” Lance prompted around a goofy grin.

“Yeah,” Keith smiled back, without the slightest decision to do so. He would take into account later on, that he was supposed to be enraged talking about this. He wasn’t supposed to feel _okay_ underneath it all. “I want Shiro to talk and be polite, but stern like he does and for _him_ to turn to me and expect me to say something, but then I _don’t_. I just look at him, and then I look past him. And then I look _through_ him like there are a thousand places I’d rather be.”

“You’ve been to a thousand places, you know,” Lance volunteered.

“Exactly,” Keith nodded, leaning heavily against Lance’s side. He stared hard at their closet door. “And I could say that, but I won’t.”

 _I won’t_. Keith thought. It echoed, bouncing around in his head the longer Lance didn’t say anything back. _I could say that, but I won’t_. _I won’t fucking say it. I won’t_. _Shiro can say it, but I won’t_.

“Keith,” Lance murmured finally.

“Yeah?”

“What exactly happened with your dad?” Lance asked, voice too level, too calm, like it was taking a great effort that Keith really appreciated. “I mean, I know the gist of it all but…. What happened specifically? I know the little things, but what’s the big thing? Why do we hate him?”

Keith scoffed and looked helplessly up at the ceiling as he registered that Lance had just said “we” in reference to hating _his_ father. “Okay, well, as you know, I never knew my… my mom. I lived with Shiro’s mom, because my dad, like, took me over there one day and just fucking _left_ me. I’m paraphrasing, I’m sure, I know Dianne had to agree to keep me, probably, I don’t know, but – ugh, _fuck_ , I.”

Lance took up rubbing his side, then, something that Keith wanted to protest because he didn’t need physical pity, but it felt nice, and he wound up leaning more heavily on him instead.

“The first thing I really remember is Dianne’s living room. And Shiro. When I think about it. The first person I really got attached to was Shiro. My dad just left me there and didn’t even tell them he’d dropped them with an alien baby, no, I got to grow up my entire life and leave _Earth_ , and find out in _space_ as we’re fighting the very thing that I’m a part of, that nearly took Shiro from me the first time.

“He was just never there, and on the rare occasion that he was, because he couldn’t even be a deadbeat right, he expected a parade for it. Which only made things worse. It was like having to be overly nice to the person that abused you. It _was_ having to be overly nice to the person that abused us and it put Dianne through hell. It tortured her and that was before she had cancer.

“And he didn’t even become a fake, better person when she got cancer, he just kept being the same level of shitty until she died. Then me and Shiro moved out to another apartment. We never told him. Haven’t talked to him since. Can’t imagine what he’s been up to. Probably whatever he was up to while he was out being father of the year. You know. Just. Fuck, I hate talking about this, it just makes people sad, and then they get weird. And I guess I can take that from other people, but not… you. You can’t get weird on me, Lance.”

But he felt pathetic. He owed Lance honesty, he knew that, but honestly, he was pitiful. And it didn’t matter what he grew into, or what he could do now, or how strong he was, deep down, in his bones, in his core, where he started and began, he was…. He was a tragic backstory.

“Keith?” Lance asked softly. Keith couldn’t look at him, couldn’t see “tragic backstory” in his eyes.

“Huh,” he mumbled.

“I love you. Okay?”

Keith paused, met Lance’s gaze. “I know. I love you, too. What are you–? Why–?”

“I know you’re still… processing it all. And you’re mad and working out what the hell to do with it. And I’ve never had to deal with something like this, but I’m here and I’ll do my best to understand.”

“I know, Lance,” Keith told him, telling his insides to calm the hell down.

“So, when Travis from NASA comes back with our families…. You want me to walk over to you when you’re not saying anything to your dad and go the _fuck_ off, you got it.”

Keith shook his head, coughed out a small laugh. “Come on, Lance. You can’t always know what to say. You can’t just… be handling this this well.”

“I told you I’ve known the little things. I just didn’t know where it started.”

“It started bleak,” Keith admitted. “But seriously, if you wanna come over when we’re talking to our families, and say some bullshit to get me away, I would not be mad at you.”

“Alright,” Lance smiled, bumping their shoulders together. “I’ll come up with something cool. Discrete.”

“Alright, I don’t trust you with this anymore.”

“There will be a signal. You’ll know it when you see it. Or hear it. I haven’t decided yet.”

“Yep, hopes too high,” Keith smirked, “in you. Just come save me like a normal person, Lance.” Keith heard his mistake the moment it left his mouth, saw it the moment it registered in Lance’s mind.

“ _Save_ you, huh?”

“Goddammit, Lance,” Keith slapped his hands over his face. “I heard it the moment it came out of my mouth, I walked right into this.”

“You want me to be your hero,” Lance grinned down at him, then gasped. “Like Travis from NASA?!”

“I’m going to bed,” Keith decided, rolling back and turning over.

“Good, good, bed sounds good,” Lance surrendered, but Keith could hear the cocky grin in his voice as the lights dimmed and he sidled up behind him. Lance’s arm came around and circled Keith’s middle. Keith released a slow, calm, annoyingly safe exhale as his boyfriend finally shut up.

“Thanks, Lance,” Keith whispered. “Really.”

Lance’s lips pressed to the back of his neck and Keith bit down a soft smile. “Any time, babe. I’ll plot with you against your dad any time.”

*

It took five years of fighting, nearly dying, and forming diplomatic relations for Team Voltron to be invited to their first royal wedding. Lance, Allura, Coran, and Hunk, of course, were ecstatic about it. Pidge, Shiro, and Keith thought the invitation was nice, but never entertained the idea that they’d actually have to attend.

“We had a real connection with those people and they’re being very generous,” Allura had chided them. “They even want Coran to officiate.”

“We should go,” Hunk nodded along. “It’s a _royal wedding_. How often have you guys gone to royal weddings back home? Didn’t think so. We’re going,” he turned to Allura then. “You’re making them go, right?”

“Imagine the _food_ ,” Lance gushed. “Imagine the dancing. Come on, it’s a big, royal party, you know it’s gonna be wild and we’re going to be there with celebrities! While _we’re_ kind of celebrities, too! Let me have this!”

Just two weeks ago, Lance had been as good as dead on a deadly Venus Flytrap horror planet. He’d never thought to take time to recover from that once. He’d remained just as enthusiastic as ever, if not more so, to do just about anything there was to do that wasn’t staying on the ship and _waiting_. He was more affectionate with the team, even if he had to make the time to cook with Hunk, or prank with Pidge; to listen to Coran’s stories of Altea, or pester Allura; to train with Shiro and stay up way later than he could afford to with Keith. Even if things had been weird between them since his return.

Keith knew they were going to the wedding well before anyone had set up a pros vs. cons debate about it. In fact, he didn’t understand why Allura was letting this continue on for so long, since they were undoubtedly going. Even still, Lance’s enthusiasm had always made things that at first seemed downright painful seem slightly inconvenient at best.

“I’ll go to see Coran officiate a wedding,” Pidge smirked.

“Hey, yeah, since when can you officiate weddings?” Keith mused.

“I used to officiate most the weddings on Altea!” Coran answered, a fond look in his eyes.

“Aw, that’s nice, Coran,” Pidge smiled.

“What _aren’t_ you good at, Coran?” Lance chimed in.

“Yeah, but how did _they_ know you used to do that?” Shiro puzzled.

“When we made our alliance with them, they mentioned that a royal wedding may be in order and I mentioned that I could officiate weddings. I told them all about it,” he explained, expression flattered. “I guess they remembered me.”

“So, paladins, that settles it,” Allura grinned. “We’re going!”

“I’m sure we never had a choice,” Pidge grumbled, leaning into Keith, who leaned a little back.

“And by the way, the wedding is tonight,” Allura admitted quickly, over the shocked protests of everyone else. “I got the invitation a few weeks ago and forgot to mention it, but nothing to do about it now but move forward?” She tried, beaming wide as her team accepted that they had essentially been played.

Keith could see it plain as day on Shiro’s face that Allura was lucky she was beautiful.

“So… we should be getting ready,” Lance realized.

“Oh, God, what are we wearing?” Hunk gasped.

“Don’t worry,” Allura said calm and deceptive, as if they truly shouldn’t worry, but Keith knew better by now when it came to Allura. He was right, of course, when that sentiment led to her pulling Pidge off while Coran forced the rest of them to decide on what type of suit they’d like to wear, since Altea had had many.

Keith made himself scarce once Coran fixed him up and declared him acceptable. He knew if Shiro saw him, he would look at him like he did when they’d rented Keith a cheap suit for his middle school dance back on Earth. From the look in Shiro’s eyes, you would have thought Keith had made it through college rather than managed to make himself appear likable enough for some thirteen-year-old girl to want to spend a few hours with him in a gym filled with other sweaty thirteen-year-olds. It was gross and weird and disgustingly paternal, even for Shiro, and Keith didn’t want to see it again if he could help it.

Not to mention, he didn’t want Lance to see him like this. Lance was _made_ for things like this – parties and fancy occasions, and dressing up and then _fitting in_. Keith was going to look out of place again. Normally, he could deal with that. Normally, he barely noticed, but he didn’t want that this time. Not when he finally cared about the people surrounding him. Not when he finally had more people surrounding him than only Shiro.

He didn’t want Lance making fun of him.

When the castleship landed on planet Blexa, Keith and Pidge snuck out onto the planet before anyone could see them. Pidge, though she felt just as awkward as Keith did, certainly didn’t look it. Allura’s dress, long, red, frilly, and form-fitting to the waist suited her in a way that made Keith oddly proud.

For the paladins, it was always so easy to forget that Pidge was growing up. That her hair was getting longer, that her body was filling out, that she was getting taller, that at nineteen-years-old, she was technically a young woman.

Technically being the key word, because when she and Keith made a break for it, she’d hiked the bottom of her dress up to her waist and ran around with her shorts and tank-top showing from underneath before Keith could stop laughing long enough to make her stop.

Allura corralled them, forcing them to sit together when the wedding started. They were seated at the end of the first row as guests of honor as Coran officiated. Keith sat himself as far away from Lance as he could, using Pidge, Hunk, Allura, and Shiro as a buffer between them. He kept his eyes forward, even though he thought he could feel Lance’s eyes on him on and off throughout the ceremony.

He knew he was right about his hunch the more Pidge nudged him and nudged him and nudged him until Allura let out a low growl. They immediately focused attention back onto the ceremony.

When it ended, Pidge and Keith quickly lost themselves in the crowd, spying on their friends in intervals as they appeared on the dancefloor. Allura, of course, looked heart-breakingly stunning as she swayed with one of the planet’s princes, ever the diplomat.

Shiro, standing by the refreshment table, completely inattentive to swarms of yearning eyes on him, wasn’t handling his jealousy well.

Pidge snorted. “If Shiro gets to have Blexan Water, I want some, too.” She crossed her arms and took a step toward the refreshment table but Keith hooked his arm around hers, tugged her back.

“ _You_ are underaged,” he smirked.

“Old enough to fucking _die_ out here, not old enough to drink,” She groaned, rolling her eyes in full rebellious teen mode. Keith could pinch her cheeks. “I’ll get my hands on some by the end of the night and you won’t be able to stop me.”

“I don’t actually care if you drink or not,” Keith shrugged. “It’s just, like, the one thing you get worked up about and I like exploiting it.”

“You dick,” Pidge glared. “For that, you have to go get me some.”

“Are you sure?” Keith raised an eyebrow.

“ _You_ had some!”

“Yeah, like, a _glass_ and it was just like Coran said – super fucking strong.” Coran had told them all about it earlier, and even Allura had mentioned it in stories of her teenage rebellious phase, over the years. It was strong anyway, but stronger to species who weren’t used to it. Blexan Water was so heavy, it was a staple in their business trades. Keith smirked then. “You’ll be trashed in two sips.”

“Go on, quit trying to stall,” Pidge ordered, tapping her foot impatiently.

“Fine, fine,” Keith waved her off. He slipped his way between dancing couples right up to Shiro who was still nursing his own glass. “How’s it going? Think you’ll get a dance with Allura tonight?”

“Oh, shut up,” Shiro snapped, face slightly red, though Keith couldn’t be sure if it was from his drink or embarrassment. “Hey, why do you have two glasses? One of those isn’t for Pidge, is it?”

“Can you have a little faith in me?” Keith snapped, topping off Pidge’s glass after his own. “You’re not the only one who can be responsible.”

Shiro gave him a long look before cracking a small smile. “You’re right. Besides, it’s obviously for Lance.” Cue eyebrow wiggles.

“Oh, fuck off,” Keith hissed, storming back through the dancing crowd with Shiro’s laughter behind him.

“You get the goods?” Pidge asked when he returned, though she could clearly see two glasses in his hands.

“You better stay out of Shiro’s sight,” Keith warned her. “All night. You hear me?”

“Can do, can do, hand it over!”

Now the only thing funnier than regular, every-day Pidge, was slightly tipsy Pidge and Keith had known that for a _long_ time anyway, but God, was it twice as enjoyable at weddings.

“Allura’s probably the best dancer I’ve ever seen,” Pidge slurred out. She finished off her glass, tipping it back and tossing the cup over her shoulder. “Which makes sense ‘cause she’s such a good _fighter_?”

“Uh-huh,” Keith nodded along, hiding his grin behind his hand.

“So, it’s, like, the same… _movement_? Does that make sense?”

 _Oh, God_. “Sure.” He took another sip of his own drink.

“And we should find a way to get Hunk a steady girlfriend!” Pidge said, voice louder than she realized.

“He has Shay, remember? They still talk.”

“Oh yeah!” She nodded, face wide with surprise, then in an instant, it fell with sudden realization. “I’m drunk.”

“ _So_ drunk,” Keith chuckled. “I fucking told you.”

“I’m not _that_ drunk, shut up,” Pidge snapped. “But, God, I know I’ve been rambling on about how much I love my friends, and if you tell anyone, I’ll eject you into space the next time I get a chance.”

“I don’t think you mean that,” Keith raised a knowing brow.

“You’re right,” Pidge sighed, dramatic and drunk. “You know, because I love you,” she said honestly. “And I know you’d only tell Lance and all he’s gonna do is knit me something for it.”

“Why does everyone think I just go running off to _Lance_?” Keith muttered.

“I mean look at him out there,” Pidge continued, as if Keith hadn’t said a word. “The idiot’s not even dancing with any of the people that keep looking at him! He just keeps following Hunk around!”

Looking at Lance was exactly what Keith had been trying not to do all evening, but all Pidge had had to do was say Lance’s name and Keith’s eyes jumped right to him. There he was, standing with Hunk between dozens upon dozens of bodies willing to dance with him, but he didn’t seem to care. His mouth was moving rapidly, as usual. Hunk talked back, looking encouraging and determined. Lance smiled back, then started to scan the crowd and Keith ducked.

“Big ole’ softy is what he is,” Pidge continued, looking over at Keith as if to confirm.

Keith, of course, had been right. Lance looked right at home, downright comfortable in the very same suit that was making Keith so _stiff_. He was handsome and alluring in the same bowtie in blue that was nearly choking Keith in red. He was tall, confident, strangely polished in that stupid, cocky, boyishly charming way of his. Keith couldn’t go anywhere near him. “Yeah,” Keith answered back.

“You wanna get me some more Blexan Water?” Pidge whined out, completely unaware of Keith’s inner crisis.

But not only was Pidge one of his best friends, she was going to be his only source of company for the rest of the night. “I really shouldn’t, but okay.” They might as well get trashed together.

He slipped his way through the dancing throng again to find Shiro gone from the refreshment table. Hoping his brother was at least getting his dance with Allura, he grabbed two more cups to fill to the brim with Blexan Water when he heard the sound of his name. In, unmistakably, Lance’s voice.

Slowly, he set the glasses down and turned, hoping he was somehow mistaken, but there was Lance, frozen mid-stride like he had been about to line up behind Keith, but had gotten distracted. Keith couldn’t move to escape and it hit him then that _he_ might be drunk.

“ _Wow_ ,” Lance awed, against everything Keith thought he’d say. Lance was looking at him like he’d never seen anything like him before. He’d only ever seen Lance go still like this once before.

 _Wow_ , _me_? Keith thought. He glanced around, but didn’t see anyone else in the vicinity Lance could be talking to. “What happened to you?” Keith challenged, trying to dispel how awkward he felt. “Are you broken?”

Lance cleared his throat, seeming to snap out of it, but he did nothing to stop his eyes roaming over Keith’s body and landing squarely back onto his face. “I’m sorry you’re just….” Lance scoffed at himself when he couldn’t find the words. He gestured up and down to Keith so there was no doubt in his mind that Keith was having an _effect_ on the guy. “I sound crazy,” he managed with a weak chuckle, rubbing sheepishly at the back of his neck, still unable to take wide blue eyes off Keith.

Keith felt himself preening at the attention, felt himself leaning forward just a little, couldn’t stop the slight smile on his face as he reassured Lance, “It’s okay. Really. It’s – fine. You’re fine. It’s nice. I guess I thought you’d make fun of me.”

“Make fun of you?” Lance echoed, looking taken aback. “ _God_ no, you look–” he took a breath. “I’ve actually been trying to find you. All night.”

“Oh,” Keith said awkwardly. “I didn’t know that,” he said even more awkwardly.

It seemed to calm Lance down enough that he was able to flash a smaller, but much sweeter version of his usual cocky grin. “I bet you won’t dance with me,” Lance tossed out as a challenge, trying to make it seem like a joke, but it wasn’t. Keith didn’t know _what_ this was.

It echoed around in his head what Lance said for too long before it clicked what Lance was asking. Keith would have done it anyway – “Fine,” Keith said back – but he hated to admit the challenge part had a huge sway over how readily he agreed to it.

Lance led him into the heat of the lively throng of swaying bodies. The newly married couple was dancing in the center, eyes trained solely on each other. Keith felt his embarrassment running up his neck and looking at Lance, he could see it on his ears. His really cute ears.

 _Stop it,_ Keith warned himself.

Keith knew there was a very real possibility that he could ruin it all with his horrible dancing, but Lance’s hands were on his hips before he could stress too much on it, guiding him into the music. So, Keith tentatively put his hands on Lance’s shoulders. Lance flinched momentarily before relaxing, like Keith’s touch was soothing warmth.

A thrill went through Keith’s chest about it, but he tried not to show it. From the way Lance smirked at him, though, he became fairly certain that Lance had seen something on his face.

“So,” Lance started.

“So,” Keith added uselessly.

“Nice wedding,” Lance continued. “Weird that Coran can officiate weddings.”

“Super weird,” Keith agreed. “Nice, though. He did a good job. Everyone’s happy. Everyone looks really nice.”

“Yeah,” Lance said lowly, looking right into Keith’s eyes.

Keith panicked and looked down at their shoes. He hated feeling like this, like he was out of place in his own skin. When it came to presenting himself, he could usually hide his doubts so well. He channeled them into his strengths, his rashness. Something about all this, however, was throwing him off. As he looked down, he tried his hardest to understand how Lance just automatically knew what to do with his feet.

“It looks like your ankle’s all healed up nicely,” Lance tried again, ducking his head to catch Keith’s gaze.

Keith felt himself blushing up to his ears. “Yeah,” he answered. His ankle had been bothering him on and off since he’d fallen out of that tree in the forest on Mynophray. He had tried to fight through it until finally, Shiro had forced him into a cryopod a few days ago despite Keith’s outbursts, and despite how much he hated the cryopods. “The cryopod healed it up in a half hour or so.”

“Damn, that’s quick,” Lance commented. “Good, though. Was worried about you.”

Keith nearly wheezed. “You didn’t need to be worried over it,” Keith said quickly. “Especially since it was initially hurt so long ago. And you got me back okay, right? It wasn’t all that bad anyway, it had nearly stopped hurting by the time we made it to Blue. I just should have taken care of it better,” he admitted.

“Seriously? By the time we got to Blue?” Lance’s brows shot up in surprise, “You heal really fast.” Then he shook his head, backpedaling. “I was worried, sure, but I also felt really bad. Just… really bad. You were so mad at me, and I knew it was my fault.”

“It wasn’t your fault,” Keith argued.

“I mean… yeah, it was,” Lance insisted. “I always have to challenge you ‘cause I know it’ll rile you up and you’ll do dumb shit with me.”

“That’s not true,” Keith huffed. “I’m not that predictable.”

“It got you to dance with me,” Lance pressed.

“Well, I would have done that anyway,” Keith argued, then caught himself.

And Lance _could_ have been having a field day. In fact, Keith damn-near expected it, but instead, his face went unexpectedly soft. And gentle and sweet and God, all the planets just fucking aligned. “Good to know.”

Keith felt himself beginning to freak out. He had the feeling that at any moment, he was about to open his mouth and say something dumb that would start a fight and ruin everything. But the moment he had the thought to excuse himself, there was a rough bump against his back that pushed him forward, had his arms fully circling Lance’s shoulders.

Startled, he looked over his shoulder to see Pidge waltzing by, swept across the floor by Hunk. Both of them shot back smug, knowing looks. Keith was too embarrassed to blink, let alone leave.

Lance’s arms had wound themselves fully around Keith’s waist to hold him up from Pidge’s shove. Keith hadn’t noticed until they made eye contact, so close their noses almost brushed, but neither of them backed up. Lance smirked and Keith quirked an unimpressed brow. Keith could look away if he wanted to, but that was just it – he didn’t want to.

It became apparent that Lance didn’t want to either. He continued to make them sway, slower, more intimate, _close_. “I was trying to tell you earlier, you look really _nice_. Like.  Captivating,” he decided, offering a smile to lessen the tension, but there was no mistake, even in the labyrinth of Keith’s mind, that Lance at least thought he was being entirely genuine.

“Captivating,” Keith tried for a chuckle that came out more shaky voice. “That’s what you’re going with.”

“ _’Cradled_ ,’” Lance smirked. “And, yeah. Captivating.”

“You, too,” Keith said with some weird onrush of boldness brought on purely by his own confusion. He took the Blexan Water back into consideration.

“Seriously,” Lance insisted, smile entirely gone. Keith found himself intimidated by the honesty in his eyes.

“Coming from _you_?” Keith interjected with a half-grin, though it didn’t make Lance’s cocky smirk come back, didn’t make him divert his gaze, didn’t make them stop swaying, didn’t make Lance’s arms around him, his chest nearly against his own, stop feeling so safe and _right_.

One of Lance’s hands unwound itself from Keith’s waist to sweep hair from over his face. His hand lingered and Keith felt like couldn’t breathe. Lance looked like Keith had never seen him, like he’d never been surer of something in his life. “You’re like a fucking work of art. I haven’t figured you all out yet, but I want to.”

“Yikes,” Keith scoffed. He chortled, feeling how entirely-too-open his face was. “That was horrible.”

 _How are you real_?

“Would you believe I really wasn’t doing a pick-up line?” Lance chuckled back, low and genuine, making Keith stop as his thumb came to rub against Keith’s cheek and Keith stood stock-still like an idiot, not knowing whether to run or dive in. “You’re not a pick-up line kind of guy.”

 _I really want to kiss you_.

“Yeah?” Keith challenged, voice normal, but heart tripping all over itself. “What kind of guy am I?”

“Guess that remains to be seen,” Lance breathed out.

Keith watched Lance’s eyes jump down to his lips, then his tongue came out to lick his own. Slowly, he began to piece together what it all meant and without thinking, he _panicked_.

“I–!” Keith blurted out, cracked and too loud. Lance looked confused and Keith looked away. He tried again. “We should mingle. We’re supposed to be – be diplomats, we can’t just stay talking to each other, Allura will kill us,” he rambled.

Slowly, Lance stopped them swaying, but didn’t look away from Keith’s eyes, absorbing all uncharacteristically mixed up emotions before finally agreeing. “You’re right,” he said, dropping his hand from Keith’s face. Keith frowned. He removed his other arm from Keith’s waist and it took Keith too long to realize Lance was waiting on him to release his shoulders.

“I’ll – see you,” Keith bit out, turning to scurry the fuck away when Lance caught his wrist.

“Wait,” Lance said gently. Keith tried to look calm as he turned back to face Lance who had his wrist in his hand. Slowly, Lance brought his hand up to his mouth and lightly kissed his knuckles. “Til next time, Red.” Then he winked, while looking utterly _gypped_ and.

Keith motherfucking _wheezed_. “Oh, God.”

Lance didn’t stop him when Keith turned away this time, rushing away like a dog with his tail between his legs. Some brave, strong paladin of Voltron. He scoffed. Maybe he should let Pidge eject him into space.

He saw that she was still dancing with Hunk and was glad he was catching a break somewhere. He went back to where he and Pidge were drinking earlier and sat down in one of the seats. What the hell was _in_ Blexan Water?

Whatever it was, it had nearly ruined everything. He could have let Lance kiss him and when Lance woke up in the morning and realized what he had done, he could have hated Keith. Keith could have ruined everything between them.

He was never drinking Blexan Water _again_ , he told himself, with the realization that _that_ was why they were acting like that. _That’s why…_ he _was acting like that._ It was the party. Lance was just partying and flirting, like always. It didn’t mean anything, and he probably wouldn’t even remember any of it.

Things were going to be fine, Keith told himself, despite what he _felt_. It was all fine.

He found Shiro sitting alone at an empty table. He offered up a smile that Keith knew was fake and they sat together, watching Pidge and Hunk dance. Allura was still off being diplomatic, and Keith was sure Lance had found someone else.

*

Shiro sat ramrod straight in his battle seat as Keith sat on the arm, face emotionless, half habit, half intentional. Any minute now, their father would be looking at them on the other side of this screen. It was becoming real enough that he found himself acutely aware of his breathing.

Pidge and Matt sat on the armrests of her seat, Keith noticed to distract himself, as Sam sat in the seat to talk to Pidge’s mother. They weren’t talking, so much as just staring. Watching. Taking each other in with an awe Keith had never seen even on people as curious and scholarly as the Holts. He looked away after a few moments. He didn’t want to intrude.

Hunk sat pressed as far forward in his seat as he could get without falling out, falling through his screen. His eyes were watery, speaking so quickly, Keith couldn’t discern a word of it. He had a habit – adorable, admittedly, even to Keith – where he balled his hands into fists at his chest when he was excited and presently, he was so excited, they were trembling as his voice rose emphatically.

Keith’s eyes were drawn to Lance, the loudest, most vibrant thing in the room. He stood in front of his chair, arms moving about wildly, smile ten yards wide, as he spoke and gesticulated in rapid fire Spanish. Keith felt a smile curving his face; the slow, love-struck, red-faced kind that Lance always gushed over. He burrowed a little deeper into Lance’s hoodie – the hickeys were still there, still just as aggressive looking. He had debated this morning, taking the cake and not hiding them so his father had to look at him and see that he was, in fact, someone people could _want_ , but then thought of Pidge and decided against it.

He nearly regretted it but it was nice having Lance with him somehow. It was nice being able to wrap himself up in him. He slid his hands further into the sleeves and tugged the hood up over his head. He pretended not to feel Shiro’s eyes on him.

“Keith,” Shiro said lowly, in that tone that was wary and cautious and warranted bad news.

Reluctantly, Keith lifted his gaze to the screen before them. Travis from NASA stared back at them. All their friends were talking happily to their families and the two of them were looking at Travis from NASA.

“Uh, hi,” Shiro murmured.

It felt like all the air was punched from his lungs. “What’s going on?” Keith rasped.

“Shiro, Keith,” Travis began slowly. He sighed, then looked straight at them. “I’ve got some unsettling news.”

And Keith thought _of-fucking-course_. Of _course_ , their father had caused a hang-up over this one simple task. He hated that he even still had it in him to _be_ disappointed, but it was like clockwork: if it involved being where he was supposed to be concerning his sons, he would always find a way not to be. Keith could only imagine what the problem was this time: He had punched one of the astronauts, or he’d somehow gotten himself shitfaced on the way there and wasn’t fully aware of where he was, much less who _they_ were. He had somehow managed to sexually harass every woman near the front door and had gotten himself removed from the premises, or he–

“Your father has passed away. We couldn’t find anyone else in your family to be here today. I am so sorry for your loss.”

_Oh._

Keith felt Shiro’s hand, warm and clammy through the fabric of his jeans. Keith didn’t need it. He crossed his arms to hide his clenched fists. He could feel Shiro’s eyes on the side of his face as he huffed out a breath.

“Oh,” Shiro said finally, dejectedly. “Thank you for being the one to tell us. When… was it?”

“It’s been two years,” Travis answered.

Shiro sighed. “Was he–?”

“How?” Keith demanded, channeling all the energy he had into keeping his voice level.

It seemed to take Travis a moment to understand what he meant before he nodded. “It isn’t entirely clear. He was found in a hotel he’d been staying in for about a week. He moved from hotel to hotel, researching extraterrestrial activity. There’s no doubt he was looking for you,” he assured them, offering an apologetic smile. Shiro smiled back because Keith couldn’t. Because they both knew the research most likely had a grander end destination in sight than simply being reunited.

“So, what killed him?” Shiro asked, sounding patient and level-headed and everything Keith didn’t have in him right now.

“When he was found, he had overdosed on amphetamines.”

“Oh,” Shiro and Keith uttered in unison.

“Yeah,” Travis sighed sympathetically. “The hotel staff stated that he hadn’t slept in days, according to the complaints of other guests. He had a lot he was working on in that room.”

Keith felt Shiro’s eyes on him, but didn’t look up. He tried to tune back into Lance talking with his family, but couldn’t extend any part of himself outside the three of them.

“And Keith,” Travis said reluctantly. “I think you should know, before you come back. I found this out while looking up information. When you all went missing, your father came forward about… you.”

“Me,” Keith deadpanned.

Sheepishly, Travis nodded. “No one knew you were missing, exactly. Since Lance, Pidge, and Hunk were enrolled in the Garrison when they went missing, they had people to report it, but you were gone and living on your own. There was some footage of the night you all vanished that got around. Your dad claimed that it was you who removed Shiro that night.”

“It was,” Keith said noncommittally, keeping his voice level.

“Once that story caught fire, he came forward about the rest of you,” Travis continued.

“The rest of him?” Shiro puzzled.

“The alien… part of him.”

“ _What_?!” Keith demanded.

“I really mean no offense,” Travis hedged apologetically. “You should know that Earth isn’t going to be surprised by you. We’ve known about the existence of aliens for years now. Aliens live on Earth just like any other race.”

“What did he _say_?” Keith demanded.

“It seemed like nonsense at first, it was in a _tabloid_ ,” Travis warned. “He kept saying that he’d already lost one son to the aliens, and now he’d lost you, too,” he looked at Keith. “And you were half alien.”

“Jesus _Christ_ ,” Keith hissed.

“It’s okay, Keith,” Shiro soothed, though his eyes were wide. “It’s fine.”

Keith opened his mouth to argue that it really fucking _wasn’t_ , but Travis beat him to the punch. “It really is,” he promised reassuringly. “It was maybe another year before we were able to confirm the existence of extraterrestrial life. When that happened, NASA looked your father up again. What he was saying kind of checked out with what we were already kind of observing from the Garrison.”

“You guys were watching the Garrison?” Shiro puzzled.

“Well, not _watching_ , just keeping an eye on signals and things like that. The Garrison had been questionable for a while but, when the Kerberos mission failed, we had a reason to really look into it.”

“Great, the Garrison fucking up just made Dad make sense,” Keith hissed.

“He did get a lot of media presence from the story,” Travis admitted, catching onto the tone the boys felt about their father. “For a few months, he was pretty widespread right along with other aliens already on Earth being exposed.”

“And then what?” Keith huffed.

“Well,” Travis cleared his throat. “Then, he disappeared. It was assumed he was trying to find you. He died trying to find you.”

Keith scoffed, shrugging Shiro’s hand off his shoulder. “He _died_ trying–”

He was interrupted by a loud: “Keith! Keith!” followed by a hand gripping his arm and pulling him away. Right. Lance. Sweet, lovable, punctual, but incredibly ill-timed _Lance_.

“Lance, this isn’t–!”

“¡ _¡Rápido, vamos, vamos!_!” Lance exclaimed, pulling him along by the arm. His legs stretched across the room step-by-step as Keith scrambled after him, smile ten miles wide as he looked back at him over his shoulder, face red and healthy and so, so _happy_ as he sent him a wink.

“Okay,” Keith surrendered, utterly powerless to the smile transforming his own face, completely overshadowing all the awful, horrible things he felt. “Okay, I’m coming!” He laughed out softly.

“ _Tienes que ver esto_ ,” Lance continued. “¡ _Te quieren conocer_!”

“What?” Keith asked, bubbled through a laugh.

Lance just grinned, then dropped down into his seat, pulling Keith down right along with him into his lap. “ _Ven, ven acá_ ,” he laughed back. He looked up, ahead at the screen before them.

Keith followed his gaze and had two seconds to feel embarrassed before it morphed to mortification at the sheer _size_ of Lance’s family – the number of eyes looking at him as he sat there trapped in their son’s lap.

He struggled to stand, but wasn’t surprised in the least when Lance tightened his arms around his waist. “¡ _¡Aquí está el amor de mi vida_ , Keith! ¿ _Verdad que está guapo_?”

That, Keith understood well enough to feel his face growing hot. “Lance, shut _up_ ,” he hissed, unsure where to direct his _eyes_. He burrowed himself further into the hood of _his boyfriend’s actual hoodie_ he just realized he was wearing in front of his boyfriend’s actual family he was meeting for the first time and already embarrassing himself in front of.

“ _Lance, ¿tiene tu chaqueta_?” A woman – probably his mother – said.

“¡ _Sí_!” Lance nodded vigorously, watching Keith like he couldn’t look away. “ _La usa todo el tiempo_.”

“Lance stop it,” one of the women laughed slightly. “You’re embarrassing him.”

“Yeah, I know,” Lance smirked, leaning his head over Keith’s shoulder.

“I am so sorry you’ve been stuck with _him_ for nine years,” the woman continued with a mixture of smugness and sympathy on her face.

“Eh, it worked out well enough for _him_ ,” Lance argued.

“I’m Cleo,” the woman spoke over Lance. She had Lance’s smile, but they differed in eye color. Hers were deep and endlessly brown. She had neck-length hair, pinned back aside from the bangs splayed across her forehead. She was slim and a bit lanky, like Lance. Like all of them. They all looked undeniably like Lance. There was a time in Keith’s life, he remembered fondly, that the very thought of a line-up of Lances would have made him physically ill.

There on the screen stood about twenty people, each beginning to match descriptions he’d heard for years now. Lance’s parents were the easiest to spot, a little older than most the others, and the man was unmistakably white, but definitely his parents – definitely where Lance came from. There were maybe six guys, Lance’s brothers who varied slightly in appearance from face to face, but Lance looked the most like his sisters.

“Keith,” Keith nodded, completing the introduction.

“Oh, believe me, we know,” Cleo smirked. “Knew you from across the room.”

“What?” Keith puzzled, freaking out internally, immediately taking into account that his father had already come out for him.

“Nothing, I’m sure everyone on Earth knows our names now and they’ve already met Hunk and Pidge,” Lance explained quickly. “Anyway, I’ll introduce you to everyone. You’ve met Cleo–” he sneered her name, though there was clearly something fond in the tone of his voice– “That’s Sophia,” he said, pointing to the girl the farthest to the left of the screen. Keith followed the line of Lance’s pointing. “And Matty. There’s Lucy and Stella and Dex. Josephine’s there, and that’s Lucas, that’s Ruth, and that one’s Danny. Those are my aunt and uncle, Theresa and Dave, and those are my other aunts, Sarah and Christine, and _these_ ,” he paused for dramatic effect, “are my parents.”

That wasn’t nearly everyone on the screen, but Keith assumed, the more he looked at them and how young some of them were, that some people probably hadn’t been there when Lance left Earth.

Lance’s parents smiled welcomingly at him, like they couldn’t be happier to meet him. There, on Mr. McClain’s face were Lance’s blue eyes and his ears and the freckles dusting across his nose and cheeks. On his mother’s face was Lance’s smile and his rich, earthy skin and the way his eyebrows set when he was happy. It was intimidating somehow, but equally as settling. “Hi, Mr. and Mrs. McClain,” he offered.

“Irene and Stanley,” Mr. McClain shook his head. “So, here’s the infamous Keith,” he winked.

“ _Dad_ ,” Lance warned.

“What, we’re happy for you!” Stanley continued. “You’ve only been mooning over him for what, ten, eleven years?”

“ _Dad_!” Lance yelled.

“Lance, what aren’t you telling me?” Keith smirked, looking back at his boyfriend to see his face gone nearly entirely red.

“We knew you from description alone from _nine years ago_ ,” Cleo snorted. “You should have heard him when he was sixteen. ‘Stupid Kogane’s so hot – _thinks_ he’s so hot! With his stupid dark eyes – I mean–!’” She cut herself off with a purely taunting round of laughter that rolled through his entire family and had Lance cringing under him.

“Oh, funny, is that supposed to be an impression of me?” Lance deadpanned. “Really hilarious, guys.”

“You should have seen him, Keith,” one of his brothers chimed in. “Basically, pretty much everything he aspired to do had the end result of you finally noticing him. I’m glad you finally noticed him, it was his life’s goal.”

“I spent nine years really missing you people.”

Keith turned slightly over Lance’s legs, wanting to fully see his red, humiliated face. From the corner of his eye, he saw Shiro facing them, but pretended not to notice. “You really had it bad, huh?” he asked, voice coming out much more softly than intended.

Lance scoffed, all show, as he looked everywhere but at him. “Shut up, you’re telling me you didn’t?”

Keith smirked. “How could I? I didn’t remember you.”

And _that_ got Lance’s attention. “How _dare_ you?”

“Keith is coming back with you, right?” Another one of Lance’s sibling asked.

Lance looked up at Keith with a knowing smile. Keith rolled his eyes and absolutely did not want to kiss him. “Yeah,” Keith answered, stomach finally not flipping with the thought of it. Lance tightened his arms around his waist.

“I have to know how you managed to win him over,” Sophia demanded. She turned to Keith. “Did he do something to you? Did he _poison_ you? Did you lose a bet? Become hypnotized? Did he–?”

“Hey, _excuse_ you!” Lance shrieked indignantly. “I’m a _delight_ , Sophia! Keith fell for me of his own free will because he knows a good thing when he sees it. I very maturely – no witchcraft involved – took him aside and told him my–”

“He avoided me for about two months, then kissed me in the middle of a fight.”

“Oh, so he _confused_ you, that makes sense.”

Maybe Keith should have felt a little bad about it as Lance’s family immediately began to roast him so hard Lance couldn’t get a word in, edgewise, but he didn’t. Looking at his boyfriend valiantly trying to explain it, trying to defend himself to no avail from something he simply could never come back from made him sure that he’d say it again if the chance arose.

Smiling to himself, Keith turned his head to see how Shiro was doing, only to see Shiro already looking back at him. Shiro raised a brow in a silent question. Keith shrugged, then ducked his head as he felt Lance’s fingers grip against his hip. He knew they would have to talk later – would have to deal with all of it, but for now, he didn’t want to have to think about anything that wasn’t Lance and how he made everything better. Knowingly, Shiro smiled, then went back to talking to Travis from NASA when Keith rolled his eyes.

*

He didn’t realize in the moment (though he would much, much later when the damage was said and done), that Hunk, _Lance’s best friend,_ seeking him out to talk to him alone wasn’t a good thing.

“Look, Keith, just don’t think I’m mad at you or anything,” Hunk started sheepishly, fingers tapping nervously against the table. “It’s just that…. I don’t know, I mean you can tell that being Voltron together feels _tense_ these days, right?”

Well, of course he’d noticed. He was just really hoping he’d been doing an adequate job at keeping anyone else from noticing, but he should have known better. No matter how good a person was at masking their feelings, the skill no longer mattered when sharing minds with four other people inside a giant mechanical man. “Yeah, man, I see what you’re getting at.” He shut his book in frustration, letting it fall against the table. “I’ll get it under control.”

“Will you, though?” Hunk pressed, looking for all the world like he didn’t want to be having this conversation. “Because it’s been days since it started, and you’ve only been getting more distant.”

Keith shot him a glare – he didn’t mean to, but _God_ , maybe _he_ should try having to pretend he wasn’t kind of heartbroken about the position Lance had put him in, and then having to pretend none of it ever happened so no one found out. Maybe _Hunk_ should try having to distance himself from Lance’s dumb, meaningless flirting lest he let something slip.

He took a deep breath and took it all back. He hoped Hunk never had to deal with that. “You’re right, Hunk. Thanks for coming to me. I’ll try harder to get it together. Sorry for letting personal shit affect the team.”

“Keith, no man, _please_ don’t take it this hard, I’m really not trying to sound like a jerk,” Hunk explained quickly. “You’re not the only one who’s bad at handling this kind of thing – I mean, look at Allura and Shiro! They’ll never figure it out,” he continued to ramble. “But I know this isn’t like that, despite what we all thought. And that’s fine! You’re allowed to feel how you feel, it’s just, could you maybe feel it a little _nicer_? I know it’s none of my business. I promise I’m not trying to get involved, but he _is_ my best friend, so I’m a little biased, and you kind of br–”

“Wait, _what_?” Keith knew he hadn’t been quite as discrete as he’d hoped about trying to be normal, instead coming off as distant and weird with the team, but Hunk didn’t seem to be talking about that anymore. He’d mentioned Shiro and Allura – he was talking about _feelings_ , even more specifically, _Keith’s_ feelings, and – did Hunk _know_?! “What are you really trying to say to me, Hunk?”

“Listen,” Hunk sighed out, face a mix of frustration and discomfort, “I’m just saying I think you should talk to Lance about–”

“ _No_!” Keith protested, louder and quicker than he wanted to. It would ruin everything to go to Lance and tell him to his face what had almost happened – what _he_ had almost let happen. He’d rather just forget it, and maybe if he didn’t mention anything, Lance would forget whatever he thought he knew, too. Then they could go back to normal.

“But, Keith, don’t you think he kinda deserves–?”

“He’ll be fine,” Keith snapped, panicked and frustrated and _scared_ , scared of making this any worse than it already was. “It’s better like this.”

Because it _was_. Things were fine between them. Keith had made sure the morning after the wedding. Lance hadn’t acted like he was mad at Keith, at all. He’d acted hyper and inquisitive – louder than usual, but overall not opposed to having Keith near him, and as long as Keith kept his feelings in check, he intended to keep in that way.

Of course, intentions could go awry.

Keith first noticed it after he’d heard Lance yelling through his walls one night. It had been weeks since Lance last had a nightmare, at least loud enough that Keith could be startled awake from it. Keith became concerned. Only to find himself being politely, but surely shooed away when he knocked at Lance’s door.

And when he’d tried to check on Lance after breakfast that morning, he found himself again politely, but unmistakably shrugged off. Lance shot him finger guns, and trailed behind Hunk. Keith was left standing alone in the kitchen.

And despite everything Keith tried, conversation was stilted between them now.

He sat with Hunk, Lance, and Pidge in the lounge room after missions. He trained with Pidge and Lance on the training deck if he caught them. He made a point to be _present_ where Lance was, but Lance was distant, and. Everything Keith had tried to prevent from happening was happening anyway.

And Lance didn’t even _care_.

Keith’s insides had been ripped from him, up and out through his chest only for Lance to _step_ on them then track them around like _mud_.

And if Lance didn’t care about Keith the way Keith cared about him, fine. But it didn’t mean he got to go around acting like he didn’t care at all. It didn’t mean he got to take himself out of Keith’s personal life completely.

During a routine diplomacy meeting turned impromptu rescue mission, Lance wound up saving the day basically all on his own. He surprised them all by having the fastest reflexes, Blue diving right in front of a huge bolder falling over Pidge as the cave shook and collapsed around them. The rest of them quickly evacuated the people from their former home, but Lance continued to stay in the depths of the danger like a shield over the scrambling victims and his fellow paladins.

It was brave and chivalrous and so, so _Lance_ and it made Keith’s chest _ache_. It ached with pride and disappointment all the same. It wouldn’t matter what Keith felt, or how much of it he kept hidden, Lance wouldn’t care.

Pidge and Hunk rambled on and on and on about his heroics from their lions all the way back to the castleship. Even between their showers and after they got changed, even after debriefing where Shiro, Allura and Coran joined in as well.

“Well what else would you expect?” Lance drawled out in response, full cocky persona in place. “I’m amazing.” But no one missed the way he only said if after complimenting Pidge on her quick thinking, Hunk on his evasive maneuvering to get the people safe, Shiro and his leadership….

And nothing for Keith. Not even a _look_. It felt like he had been ejected from the airlock. There was nothing above or below him to hold him steady, and the more Lance talked, the more Keith became convinced the empty vacuum of space wasn’t the coldest place to be.

It took Hunk’s hand, dropped carefully onto his shoulder to bring him back. To make him _mad_.

Keith couldn’t move, couldn’t think anything other than _how dare he_? He stood frozen as Shiro trailed off from the room first, then Coran and Allura. He stood stock still as Hunk slipped away. It took Pidge leaving for him to _snap_.

“Why have you had such a stick up your ass lately?!” His hands wanted to reach out and _grab_ Lance and shake him until this _stopped_. He clenched them into fists at his side, forced himself to stay against the wall.

Lance jerked around at the sound of his voice, like he hadn’t even known Keith was in the room and that made it so much _worse_. “I haven't,” Lance answered after a long moment, very pointedly not looking at him. “What are you talking about?”

“Well then, why can’t you look at me?” Keith challenged, stepping closer, thinking Lance might run. Keith stepped around him and peered up, expectantly.

At that, Lance groaned the most dramatic groan ever groaned, and locked angry blue eyes down on Keith. “Well, I’m looking at you now, aren't I?”

Keith was seeing red. “ _Lance_! You’re such a fucking asshole! This has been happening on and off for almost _two_ _months_! Did you think I wouldn't notice?! We’ve been at this Paladin thing for _years_ together, Lance. I consider you my friend now, we shouldn't still be going through this shit like when we were teenagers!”

And Lance smirked. He scoffed and tried to walk past him, saying softly. “It’s in your head, Keith.”

“You didn't just fucking say that,” Keith seethed walking around him, barricading his path. “ _You_ who imagined _an entire rivalry_ between us!” At that, Lance had the good grace to look guilty. “Come on, Lance, you’re important to me. Please can we just work this out like adults so I don't have to get Shiro? You gotta know I really don't think I can go back to fighting with you all the time.”

“God Keith, _that_ ,” Lance exclaimed, hands coming up to fist in his hair, “ _that’s_ the problem!”

Taken aback, Keith’s anger dove down into a sadness he could feel deep in his bones. “What, you _want_ to go back to – to fighting all the time? Like we used to? When you acted like you _hated_ me?” They had come so far. And they had done it together – they became friends and Lance became necessary. Keith _couldn’t_ – he couldn’t go back.

Lance’s eyebrows shot up to his hairline. He looked like he could strangle Keith. Keith knew the feeling. “No, _God_ , why would I want that?!” He screamed down into his face.

 _“Then what do you want?!”_ He demanded, voice cracking in the middle. He knew what he wanted. He wanted Lance. And if he couldn’t have him, then he wanted silence. He wanted to sink into the floor. He wanted to forget.

But then Lance groaned, forcing Keith’s eyes back on him. Keith could see himself in the blue of Lance’s angry eyes. He could feel the roughness of Lance’s hands fisting in the front of his shirt. “Oh, for the love of _God-!_ ” Then Keith went numb as he was jerked forward into Lance, and Lance kissed him breathless.

Lance pressed, and pressed, and _pressed_ , hot, and heavy, and angry, and insistent and Keith unraveled against him, just cognizant enough to card his fingers through shaggy, brown hair, to trail his thumbs over the curve of adorable, _adorable_ ears.

He couldn’t breathe, but he’d rather suffocate than stop.

And Lance, anything but tentatively, ran his tongue along the seam of Keith’s bottom lip and Keith fell completely pliant to him. Encouraged, Lance deepened it licking past Keith’s teeth and adding so much more passion and want and _need_. Keith could feel his knees giving way.

Fisted hands released Keith’s shirt, ran slow and curved like a river to rest in a hard grip against his hips, making sure Keith felt the weight of them all the way there. Soft thumbs rubbed soothingly under Keith’s shirt into his hip bones while warm hands _squeezed_. Keith hummed in appreciation and Lance smiled against his lips before he could get embarrassed by it.

The kiss became something else then, an entirely different animal, as Lance released his hips and curled strong, tanned arms tight around Keith’s middle, pulling him flush against him like when they swayed together, dancing. Keith sighed as the kiss turned gentle, bruising presses becoming languid brushes between Lance’s unstoppable grin and Keith’s quivering smile. Lance pulled back slightly, enough to make Keith drop his arms around his shoulders to keep him from leaving as Lance leaned back in for one long press, then he pulled back again. Eyes bright and wide, he leaned back in for a shorter press, then two times more while Keith melted, and melted, and _melted_.

“ _Fuck_ ,” Lance sighed out, tipping their foreheads together, “you’ve always been so goddamn _beautiful_.”

Keith eloquently choked around the syllable of Lance’s name.

He brought one hand up to cup Lance’s face, fingers splaying into his hair and pressed their mouths back together. Lance managed to laugh about it in this deep, rumbling way that had Keith clinging tighter.

Slowly, reluctantly, Lance pulled back, one hand unwinding from Keith’s waist to cup his face. “I wasn’t _drunk_ ,” he stressed, amusement light in his voice rivalling a layer of frustration, “you utter _dumbfuck_. I wanted to kiss you so bad. I have for a long time. I spent so long working myself up to finally do it, and you seemed into it. And I was so _happy_. Then you ran from me, and you kept acting like nothing happened – I thought you were leading me on. I was kinda pissed, you may have noticed.”

“I’m – I didn’t _know_ , I thought you wouldn’t remember,” Keith shook his head, letting his hands fall to Lance’s arms. “I didn’t think you were serious, you flirt with everyone. I thought I was taking advantage of you.”

“I looked for you that night, Keith,” Lance told him, grin going crooked in that way he knew Keith liked. “I always look for you during that kind of thing. You’re the one I always want to be with.”

“Be with,” Keith echoed, slow and dazed and ridiculous like a middle schooler. “What do you mean?”

“I mean it any way it can be meant,” Lance said, smile gone as nervousness took over his expression. “I want to be with you any way I can be.”

“Lance,” Keith said softly, painfully. He wanted this more than anything, but here on a mission to save everyone in the universe, it had never mattered less what he wanted. “We can’t.”

Lance’s face fell along with his gaze, and Keith, the idiot that he was, couldn’t stop looking at his lips. Lance’s hand grew heavy against his face. “I guess I thought you might say that,” he admitted. “But I hoped maybe you wouldn't? Maybe you’d be all Hot-Headed, Actions-First-Thoughts-Later Red Paladin about it.”

Keith laughed, unmistakably sad as he turned Lance’s face up so they were eye-to-eye. He looked unreal – eyes electric blue, pupils dilated. His lips were kiss-swollen red, and the healthy glow to his face that made Keith happy knowing he had something to do with it. “God, I want to,” Keith admitted, “I would love to, really.”

“You drive me crazy,” Lance admitted. He brought his other hand up from Keith’s waist to cup the other side of his face. His gaze never wavered. “You’re so strong and brave and fearless. You’re _unstoppable_ and you just – you drive me wild. You always have.”

Keith shook his head. He wasn’t fearless, he was terrified. “I can’t lose you, Lance,” Keith told him honestly, gaze hard and imploring on Lance’s. “It’s bad enough how much I worry about you now; it’d kill me to have to worry about you as something more.”

“Look at us, Keith.” Lance ran his thumbs over Keith’s cheeks. “We are something more.”

“You know what I mean,” Keith insisted, even though Lance was right. Even though Lance was right and he couldn’t even be happy about it. “It doesn't really fucking matter how we feel about it. It’s just easier if we don’t… pursue this. It’ll be easier on us – easier on everyone.” Lance groaned, but he continued. “And you know if we did this, Shiro would find out because the mice tell Allura everything and he’d come to us and we’d have to suffer through the world’s most awkward sex talk,” he tried as a joke that fell incredibly flat to mask his real concerns.

 _What if it doesn’t work out?_ Keith was afraid to say. _What if we fuck up? What if someone gets hurt?_

“I don’t care about any of that,” Lance swore, keeping his gaze strong. “I don’t care about everyone else. I just care about you. And me, by extension, in this case, but yeah. You.”

Keith couldn’t describe what Lance’s admission made his insides do, but all he knew was that he wanted to run, and that he was done with that. “We have to care about it, Lance. We have to care about everyone else.”

“Keith, we could really be something,” Lance argued, softly. Again, his thumbs passed soft and delicate over Keith’s cheeks and Keith could _yell_.

“We could self-destruct,” Keith countered, shutting his eyes a little longer than a standard blink.

“I wouldn’t let us,” Lance promised.

“It wouldn’t be up to you, Lance, I’d ruin everything!” Keith blurted out. “And we’d fall apart and then Voltron would be ruined and it’ll be just like every other thing I really cared about that I _ruined_ , except this time, actual _lives_ are at stake! The _universe_ is at stake!” He ran out of breath and his words rang out and he couldn’t take them back.

It made sense, somewhere in the back of his mind – had definitely occurred to him – that his thought process over the years might have become quite flawed, but it was what always got him through. He had to be strong enough to complete the tasks asked of him and he could do it all if he just stayed focused and denied himself the things he really wanted.

“I have had it so bad for you,” Lance sighed heavily, “since I was sixteen years old at the Garrison. And you wouldn't give me the time of day.” Keith laughed but it was bitter. Lance sighed, flashed a small smile that was also bitter. “I can’t just let this go, Keith. It’s been years and those feelings never went away.” He sighed heavily again. Keith wanted to hold onto him and never let go.

“Lance,” Keith said helplessly, uselessly, because he’d loved Lance longer than he could even understand and look where it got him. “I would do anything to protect you – to keep you safe. To keep you _here_ with us. With me. If we got any closer, I would be a reckless _mess_. If it came down to an innocent civilian or you…. It’s already hard enough to risk you not coming back over an innocent bystander. One of the only things keeping me in check has always been the fact that you’re not _mine_ ,” Keith admitted, soft and ashamed. “I can’t cost someone their life because I’m selfish.”

When Lance kissed him again, Keith knew he should stop him, but he couldn’t. He’d always been powerless to Lance, couldn’t help but let him take him apart and put him back together again. Lance’s tongue prized open his lips and Keith folded his arms back around his shoulders.

_If neither of us speaks and I don’t let go, we can stay like this forever._

“Keith,” Lance said against his lips, “ _Keith_ ,” he repeated, pulling his face away. “Keith look at me.” Keith peeled open his eyes to see Lance looking like he’d gone through an emotional hellhole, but he was all the better for it. “I’ve always been yours,” he told him. He smiled crookedly, and Keith really didn’t think he knew he did it. “I know that’s not helping but, no matter what happens with us after this, I’m one hundred and ten percent _yours_. Keith, I’ll do whatever you want,” he admitted through a nervous chuckle. “Even if it’s… leave you alone.”

“No,” Keith said quickly. “Never leave me alone, Lance. I’m yours, too, so you can’t just take yourself completely away from me.”

Lance watched him closely for what felt like eons, almost as if he were piecing it all together himself. Finally, he spoke, his voice a low, heavy, weighted thing. “Okay. After tonight, we can act like this never happened. We’ll continued to be friends and go on about… life as usual, I guess,” Lance scoffed bitterly to himself.

Even now, Keith found it difficult not to fall victim to Lance’s confidence when he spoke, and his charisma, and his charm and his eyes. He thought it might be a good idea to get out of his _arms_. “You want to just be friends?” He echoed, hurt. Even though he had said it first. Even though it was basically their only option.

“ _No_ ,” Lance said it like a vow, sweeping hair from Keith’s face as he peered deeper into his eyes. “I’m _always_ going to want more with you. But you do have a point: I’ve been pretty reckless when it comes to you, too.”

“We’ll be alright,” Keith decided, even though it hurt him to say it, to talk like it was inevitable that they move on. He unwound his arms from Lance’s shoulders. “We’re paladins of Voltron. This is what we signed up for: universe first, ourselves second–”

“When we defeat Zarkon, I’m gonna be with you.”

“What?” Keith jerked his head up to see Lance, covering Keith’s hands over his shoulders, fingers laced through Keith’s, keeping him from pulling away.

“When we win,” Lance started again, crooked smile back and sure and _Lance_ and _home_ as he repeated himself, “and the war is over. There is going to be nothing stopping me from sweeping you off your feet.” Then he winked, making Keith’s face flush. “We win the war, and you’re _mine_ ,” Lance continued, smiling as Keith laughed. “Better be ready, Red, because I’m coming for you.”

“Gonna have me in your scope, Sharpshooter?” Keith teased back, for Lance who was fighting through the same deep sadness that Keith was, but still found a way to work to make Keith laugh.

“Absolutely,” Lance smiled, a mixture of taunting and forlorn. “I’m gonna make you fall in love with me.”

 _Too late_ , Keith thought. One look at Lance and he knew Lance knew it, too. “Lance,” he said honestly, seriously, already embarrassed at what he knew he couldn’t stop coming out of his mouth. “This really fucking sucks. And I don’t know what’s going to happen with us now. But my life is better because you’re in it. I thought I’d only ever need Shiro, but I need you, too. Even if I can’t have you.”

Keith watched as Lance’s knowing smirk turned to fond surprise. “Thank you,” he said, but his eyes were sad. “That… means a lot to me.” Then he slowly unlaced his fingers from Keith’s, letting his hands fall from his shoulders. It looked like it killed him to plaster that cocky smirk back onto his face. The one that hid all his insecurities, all his pain and hurt. “I’ve been friend-zoned by a lot of people in my day, Kogane, but this is, by far, the worst.”

Keith looked down, folding his arms around his own middle. Somehow, it wasn’t as warm. He was heart-broken. “I mean, kind of.” He teased back. His smile felt like a grimace.

*

It was explained to them, when Travis was finally able to separate the paladins from their families, that there would be a press conference when they landed back on Earth in Florida. Each paladin would be given two seats for the family members of their choosing.

 _Family members of your choosing_ , echoed around in Keith’s head, tethering a barbed line right down to his heart until he was able to shake it all off by reminding himself that thanks to his father all of Earth knew about him and he’d had no choice in the matter.

According to Coran and Mr. Holt, it wouldn’t be long until they landed shortly within the next quintent. To which, Lance said: “Awesome! Mom and Dad can leave everyone in a hotel or something, I’ll see them after.” It was painfully clear to all of them, now that Travis from NASA was gone, that he was excited, but understandably a little vexed. Keith couldn’t imagine the frustration of finally being able to see the family he had missed so much but only through a screen – of being _just_ _this close_ , then being limited to how many he could truly hold in his arms in the immediate future.

Keith said it before he could really think about it. “You can have my seats,” he blurted out quickly. He paused, watching Lance try to work out how to feel before trudging on, now that he was sure. “No one’s coming for me.”

Lance cocked his head at Keith, brows furrowed over confused, blue eyes. Keith fixed his mouth to shrug it off, when Shiro came to his rescue. “Our family’s already here,” he shrugged, looking around at all of them, then settling his gaze on Lance who nodded solemnly, gratefully. He knew it didn’t slip by Lance’s notice, but he seemed willing to deal with it later. “You can have my seats, too,” Shiro continued.

Keith rolled his eyes but nodded along, thankful to his brother for saying it even if it was overly sentimental.

“So, great,” Lance grinned, “My mom and dad, and Cleo… and Lucas and Sophia, and Matty…. Thanks, you guys.”

“You can have my seats,” Pidge chimed in, arms crossed. “The only one we’ve got coming is Mom and she can take Dad’s seat.”

Lance stared at her. “Pidge….”

“You can take mine, too,” Matt shrugged.

“You can have my other seat,” Mr. Holt decided.

“Mine and Coran’s seats are yours,” Allura volunteered.

“What? Guys, stop, I can’t monopolize the whole thing with my family,” Lance chuckled weakly, looking both touched and scandalized.

“Why not?” Hunk shrugged. “We’d love to meet them.”

Lance stared, then finally gave a wet laugh. “Jesus, guys, alright, but I’ll warn you, it’s gonna be a McClain parade and you don’t get to complain about the noise.”

“We haven’t complained about you in years,” Coran breezed teasingly.

“I complained about him not three minutes ago,” Pidge reminded them. “But now that I think about it, this gives us a golden opportunity. We’re going to personally meet Lance’s family and we have literally so much _dirt_ on him, what should we tell them?” She sneered.

“If you think you’re gonna _embarrass_ me, you little gremlin, you’ve got another thing coming,” Lance bragged. “I just got the roasting of my life through a _video_ _screen_. You are _nothing_ compared to them.”

“Sounds like a challenge, bro,” Hunk nodded, expression determined as he turned to Pidge. “We’ve got nine years’ worth of stories and I keep a categorized _list_. We’ll go in order from most embarrassing to most _cringe-worthy_.”

“Hunk, you’re perfect,” Pidge gasped. “I, too, keep a list. Let’s compare notes.”

Normally, Lance would have been going ballistic over the pure betrayal of it all, but Keith saw him, instead, shuffling toward him. “Hey,” Keith started crossing his arms and levelling out a smirk. “Your best friends are devising plans to humiliate you on the news, probably. Isn’t this the part where your voice goes all shrill and you freak the fuck out?”

Lance laughed, then shrugged as he moved to step behind Keith, wrapping his arms snug around his waist. “Eh, I already knew about their lists, so I know what I’m up against.” Then, tightening his grip around Keith’s waist, he bent back and lifted Keith off the ground, something that Lance found endlessly hilarious being that Keith hated being picked up.

And Keith, as usual, panicked. “I don’t like it! Put me _down_ , you dick, I don’t _like_ _it_!” He yelled, trying and failing to kick Lance in the legs as Lance laughed like a maniac in his ear.

“Are you reaching for your _knife_?!” Lance demanded shrilly, quickly placing Keith back down.

“I will stab you in the ribs, you know I hate when you do that!” Keith hissed, trying to turn around in Lance’s arms when Lance dropped a slow kiss to the side of his face and Keith quit thrashing, probably right according to plan.

Slowly, Lance unwound his arms from Keith’s waist to drop his hands comfortably on Keith’s hips. He leaned his head over Keith’s shoulder. “About the seats – thanks.” It hit him then that Lance had all but thrown him into the air just to make sure he had his attention. Keith groaned, more for show than any actual annoyance as he reminded himself that Lance flirted like an actual toddler.

But Keith couldn’t stop his grin, couldn’t stop himself from leaning back against him despite Pidge and Hunk most likely, scribbling down what had just happened onto their lists. Despite Shiro’s taunting smirk and the look in his eyes that read “you love-struck fool.”

*

But, loving Lance in poorly-concealed secret, and sharing a love that he couldn’t even address were two very different things.

First of all, it was a secret between the two of them, which should have only brought them closer, but it couldn’t since they had to resist it. Yet another natural pull between them that they had to ignore. It almost made Keith miss caring for Lance to himself. It was easier to hide things when Lance hadn’t known exactly what to look for.

It had been sweet for while – twelve days, to be exact. Twelve days of secret smiles and private winks; of shared looks and nervous hall-sightings and utter refusal to be alone together, for Lance to go right back to flirting with the local population on diplomacy missions.

Half of Keith felt the ground rip out from beneath him and the other half didn’t know what he had expected. Lance couldn’t just tie himself down and wait around until the war was over, or Keith didn’t care, or whichever came first. Lance was a creature that _moved_. He didn’t get stuck in ruts and desensitize himself to his thoughts to ensure he got the physical stuff done, he just _moved on_.

And Keith could compartmentalize with the best of them – better than the best of them if it came down to it, but when it came to the moving on thing….

Keith had never been too good at that.

There he was, handsome and magnetic and charming, sitting at the fire pit the Clyans had made next to the very Clyan warrior that had been glued to his side all night. Keith didn’t even know his name, was sure Lance didn’t either, meaning he wasn’t even someone important to their mission. He was just a random guy that decided to drape himself all over Lance and _Lance_ was just.

Letting him.

“Hey,” Shiro murmured from next to him. He had that look on his face, concerned but protective. “I can get onto him later, okay? Can you just get through this meeting okay without glaring at everyone?”

“No, look, I’ll–” In all honesty, he hadn’t known he was being so transparent in the first place. Everyone probably knew. “I’ll cool it, just don’t say anything to him.”

Shiro levelled him a long look. Keith didn’t look away, but finally Shiro did. Turning reluctantly back toward Allura as she and Coran told story after vibrant story of Altea, he let Keith focus his attention elsewhere. He looked to Pidge and Hunk outside the pit, talking to the army generals, but then Lance laughed and Keith was _done_.

He pushed himself up from the pit and headed north, into a small clearing of trees behind the group. Lance wasn’t with him, so he wouldn’t get lost this time. Clyan’s three moons, though differently sized were equally bright and lit Keith’s path well as he walked off his anger. He uncrossed his arms and relaxed his shoulders. He didn’t have to keep it built up anymore. He didn’t have to pretend not to wonder how Lance could even want to look at another person.

Then he heard footsteps.

He had almost three minutes of solitude, but then he heard _footsteps_ and his heart leapt up into his throat. He turned to glance over his shoulder, knew it was Lance even without seeing. “It’s going to be suspicious that both of us are missing,” he drawled out, keeping his voice even.

“You okay?” Lance asked, instead.

“I’m fine, Lance, go away,” Keith spat, crossing his arms back and walking faster.

“I know you saw me,” Lance said instead. He had the good grace to look a little guilty about it because Keith absolutely _did_ see him with his eyes all over that alien guy, and how long would that have lasted before it turned to something else?

“I don't care,” Keith said, stopping to look him in the eye. He tried to look as honest as he could. If he was convincing enough, maybe he could get Lance to leave. “And you don't owe me anything.”

“Keith, yes you do care,” Lance snapped. “You’re sulking all the way over here away from any of the rest of us because you _do_ care. Just fucking talk to me. This shitty situation isn't going to get any better if you pout and run away from me.”

“Me? This is on _me_?” Keith repeated, voice low and angry like thunder. “This isn't my fault, you know!” Keith growled out. “I didn't want this.”

“I didn't say it _is_ your fault!” Lance yelled back. “This just. Sucks. Okay?”

“Noted,” Keith scoffed. “You can go back to your alien hook-up now.” He turned on his heel, just wanting to get back to the pit at this point. Lance could have that guy if he really wanted, but Keith wasn’t going to beg Lance not to hurt him like this. He shouldn’t have to.

“Keith, will you–?” he grabbed Keith’s wrist tight. “Just stop being such a fucking drama queen for two seconds, I’m trying!”

Keith scoffed, jerking at his wrist. “Trying to get in that guy’s pants?”

“No, you son of a bitch, I’m – I’m trying so hard not to hurt us too much, but this is just going to hurt!” He yelled. He took a deep breath and released Keith’s wrist. Keith could see in his eyes now that he was just as tired as Keith was. “Are you sure this is what you want?”

“Lance,” Keith breathed out. “It doesn't matter what I want.” He knew he had already said that, but at this point it was something he need to keep telling himself. “We have to – I mean, I don't – what do _you_ want?”

“ _You_! All the time! Every day!” He sighed. “But here we are. So, what do we do?” Lance asked hopelessly.

“I suffer and you just get to move the hell on,” Keith griped.

“You think I’m not suffering?! No, I’m miserable, too! He’s not _you_ , so I’m miserable!” Lance sighed, looking tired and angry and sad and hopeful and a fucking mixed mess. “Look, we said we can't. I can’t just… _sit_ on this, I’m not good with _dwelling_ , all it does it make things worse. And you need a distraction just as much as I do, or we will both be miserable about this! What do you _want_?”

Keith bit his lip, arms crossed tight, because Lance had a point, but he _wasn’t_ Lance. He couldn’t deal with this like Lance would.

It felt like Lance was saying that if he couldn’t be with Keith now, then he didn't care about him at all, and he felt it like word vomit, rocketing up from his gut to his throat and out of his mouth. “I don't want you with anyone else!” He yelled before he could stop it. And he was _horrified_ at it, but he couldn't stop talking. “I know what we said – I know I can’t have you but I don't want anyone else to have you, either!”

Keith’s mouth clamped shut to save him then, like it should have thirty seconds ago and Lance just stared. Jaw clenched, eyes wide until finally, he cleared his throat and Keith hadn’t breathed in what must have been years as Lance breathed out: “Okay.”

Not: _What the fuck, Keith?_

Not: _That’s a ridiculous request after what the fuck we agreed upon._

Not: _You can’t tell me that. You don't have the right to tell me that._

Keith had just very unfairly told Lance he didn’t want him with anyone if not himself who couldn’t be with him, like some kind of emotional tyrant. And he had agreed like it was nothing.

“Okay?” Keith echoed, light and disbelieving. “Lance, I didn’t _want_ to say that. I don’t have the right to tell you not to be happy just because it’s not with me. I don’t want to hold you down, I don’t want you to resent me.” But Lance didn’t budge. He watched Keith, confident like a peacock, sure of himself like he had nothing to lose. He wasn’t changing his mind. “Okay?” Keith chanced again.

“Yeah, okay,” Lance said again, like it was factual. Like they had talked this out for eons and it was said and done, written in stone, and _no_.

“You’re not really agreeing to this,” Keith blank-faced. “It would be insane.”

“Keith,” Lance chuckled, softly. He stepped forward and placed his hands gently onto Keith’s shoulders. He bent down bit-by-bit with that crooked grin until they were eye-to-eye, nose-to-nose until he tipped their foreheads together. “ _Okay_.”

Keith hesitated before pressing back, knowing Lance couldn’t see his grin, couldn’t see his burning face. _You idiot,_ he thought, light and open, and honest. Lance could somehow absorb it through their pressed skin and for once, Keith wouldn’t even _care_. _I love you, I love you, I love you_.

*

From the moment they entered Earth’s atmosphere, things were horrendously hectic.

Allura and Coran were able to land the castleship safely, after a long, boringly careful dissension, thanks to Travis from NASA guiding them through it. Travis warned them again that they were, more or less, about to be swarmed, but that he would be there to greet them.

With Travis off the screen, the room fell silent. Keith hated to admit he was strangely nervous, and he could feel the same energy coming from everyone else. He knew they didn’t have long to bask in this. People were waiting and they had to move. They had to get back to their lives and Keith had to start a new one.

Hunk was going to be reunited with his parents soon, and Pidge, smiling diminutively at her brother and her father, was about to finally see her mother. Allura and Coran were going to travel Earth together, and Lance was going to spend the rest of their lives together being the best kind of nuisance. And Shiro….

He locked eyes with Shiro, only ten steps away from him, and felt something in his chest go down. For twenty-six years, Shiro had always been right there, just outside his crib; right next door. Down the hall; across the training deck. He was always there somewhere in Keith’s orbit and now…. Now, Keith had to stare this new reality in the face. Shoving it down wasn’t going to stop this from happening, Shiro wasn’t going to be ten panicked steps away from him anymore. He wasn’t going to be just around the corner to talk Keith down. In just a few hours, Keith would be out of Shiro’s orbit and Shiro would be out of his.

He was gaining Lance. He was gaining the love of his life and his best friend in one and he couldn’t be more ecstatic, but he was about to lose the one constant that had always come back. He was losing his homing beacon.

“We knew this was coming,” Shiro said quietly, looking right at him, then sweeping his gaze over the group. “It’s just some questions and some cameras, that’s all. We’ve definitely handled worse.” A loose chuckle trailed afterward like a question, a plea for everyone to just hold it together out there.

To which Lance said: “Yeah, yeah let’s do this! Let’s go out there and _face the world_ , eh?”

To which Hunk, Pidge, Allura, Matt, and even Coran groaned, but Keith nonchalantly took his hand so he couldn’t run when Pidge punched him.

They filed out of the castleship together, Lance’s fingers laced through his as they took their first breath of unexpectedly chilly Earth air. Pidge’s calendar had evidently gotten about six months off schedule at some point, meaning it had to be autumn. The sky was blue and bright, but Keith realized, he had forgotten what lighting meant what time, aside from morning and night. They walked across pavement, something Keith never thought he would _miss_ and the grass was yellow and brittle, and the clouds were _white_ , unlike most other planets, and for the first time in nine years, nothing was just shy of perfect, it _was_.

Keith felt Lance’s fingers tighten when the camera flashes started up and something about it made him chuckle. “Hey,” he tugged at Lance’s hand and looked up to see Lance already looking at him. “How are you liking your hero’s parade?”

Lance sent him a knowing grin that could only mean mischief as he shook his head, deceivingly unassuming. “Nah, not yet, it’s missing something.” His fingers tightened in Keith’s, then he forcefully thrust their hands up into the air over their heads like he had just won and Keith was his medal. “There, now it’s a proper hero’s parade.”

“Lance, did you just….” Keith paused to really take a moment to understand his own disbelief and try to make sense of his boyfriend. He came up blank. “ _Breakfast Club_ ending me?”

“ _I said, laaaaa, la, la, la, laaaaa, la, la, la, laaaaaa_ ,” Pidge hummed behind them. Keith got his answer when Lance began to pump their hands along with her tune.

“Can’t take you anywhere,” Keith groaned, covering his grin with his other hand.

“ _Don’t you forget about me_ ,” Hunk chimed in.

“This is on camera, guys,” Matt reminded them, chortling.

“ _Don’t, don’t, don’t don’t_ ,” Shiro murmured.

Travis from NASA met them before they reached the end of the line of reporters. He raised a hand halfway to wave and direct them forward, but before anyone could stop it, Hunk had barreled forward, encasing the poor man in his arms, and unintentionally forcing him back a few inches.

“Hunk!” Allura called, cautions and reprimanding and much too late.

Pidge squeezed her way in immediately after, followed by Matt, and when Lance went, he didn’t even release Keith’s hand. Keith felt Coran lean in against his back, then heard Allura sigh a little close to his ear, leaving only Sam who reluctantly followed suit.

“Sorry about this,” he said, to the amusement of only everyone.

“It’s really not a problem,” came Travis from NASA’s easy reply. “I’ll tell you, I’ve grown rather fond of you guys, too.”

“That’s so nice,” Lance cooed, “But especially me, right?”

“Don’t fucking start, Lance,” Pidge huffed, though noticeably clinging just a bit tighter to the man.

Travis from NASA audibly huffed at being squeezed a little harder and no one felt bad enough about it to release him. “Your press conference is scheduled to begin soon, so we should head inside,” he told them.

“Alright team, let’s all let Travis from NASA go,” Allura cajoled them innocently to the poorly concealed snickers of the others. “What about the castleship? Will it be safe while we’re inside?” The lions were in there safe and sound, and Allura couldn’t make a particle barrier unless she was inside the castleship. They knew the lions could take care of themselves, but it still didn’t ease the worry of nosy newscasters poking around in there.

“Oh, don’t you go worrying about that, Princess, the castleship is perfectly safe,” Coran chirped. “Watch this.” With that, he reached into his pocket and retrieved what could only be described as a set of keys. He aimed it at the castleship, pressed a button, then the particle shield was materializing.

“What… the fuck, Coran?” Keith breathed. “How long could it do that?”

“Oh, Sam built it for me!” Coran explained. “Now Allura doesn’t need to be inside of it anymore for it to remain protected. We really should have thought of something like this a long time ago,” he breezed, smile wide as he walked toward Travis from NASA who was just as frozen as everyone else.

“Quiznack,” Lance scoffed, following suit on slow legs.

Travis led them inside the building and down a series of halls into a room with a small stage, full of chairs and their families. It became evident that they were brought in through the back, separated from them by a thin curtain hung in front of the table they were to be seated at. Keith saw the moment Hunk, Pidge and Lance got antsy to push through the curtain as Travis from NASA gave them an apologetic smile.

“Guys,” Travis said softly, to get their attention. Reluctantly, the paladins peeled themselves away from the curtain. “As you know, they’re going to be asking you a lot of questions. Just, you don’t have to answer everything, okay? And if you don’t know if something needs to be answered, just look at me, I’m going to be sitting at the front with your families.”

“Oh. Good,” Hunk nodded. “Takes off a lot of pressure.”

“Good,” Travis smiled with a small, humble shrug. “Also, it’s good you all wore the armor. Makes you look unified. Like soldiers.”

“Oh, that wasn’t intentional,” Shiro explained, a wry smile on his face. “It’s just become habit not to leave the ship without them on.”

“Too many experiences,” Pidge muttered.

“Really, really bad experiences,” Hunk nodded along, “Lance almost suffocated.”

“ _Almost_ ,” Lance reminded him. “I was fine. We don’t have to bring it up every time, though.”

Travis smiled wryly back in a way that suggested he was getting used to them. “Right, so, you guys can go ahead and take your seats,” he instructed. “Just stick to intergalactic warfare and the Galra. That’s mainly what they want to know. You don’t have to answer anything personal or uncomfortable. This is about what you did to save the universe and we’re all really thankful.” He glanced down at his watch, then calmly back up at them. “About five minutes, okay? They’re going to open the curtain and, like, attack, so brace yourselves.” With an encouraging smile and a small wave, he slipped between the curtain to take a seat beside Hunk’s mother.

Seating themselves was simple: Shiro, Allura and Coran forced into the middle; Pidge, Hunk, Lance, and Keith on the sides, and Matt and Sam on the ends. Then, the small curtain was pulled back and the world was nothing but bright flashes and overlapping voices.

Travis turned out to be stunningly correct about the reporters – there was no other word for it than an attack. The questions started relatively simple: “How did you all wind up in space?”

Pidge took that one. “Giant, magical, alien robots.”

“Okay… how do they work?”

“ _Magic_ ,” Pidge said again, but with _feeling_.

The two seconds of silence after that in which the paladins had to hold in their laughter felt like forever until the next question burst forth.

“Were you already friends before all this started? How did you all meet?”

Hunk took that one. “We all went to the Garrison together. Of course, uh, we didn’t really get to know Keith that well yet, or Shiro, but Pidge, and Lance, and I were best buds. Coran and Allura didn’t come along ‘til later, but you knew that, of course.” Hunk had a propensity to ramble when he was nervous, an (honestly endearing) tick that had never gone away as long as Keith had known the guy. He only hoped that they wouldn’t see it as a sign of weakness and swoop in harder.

 “What was it like out in space?” The next reporter asked, as if Hunk had never said anything at all. “Did you miss Earth?”

“How much fighting did you really have to do?”

“How did you find Matt and Sam Holt?”

“It was really awesome,” Lance started, rapid fire, “but of course we all missed Earth more than anything!” Keith saw him lock eyes with his mom and smile, slow and sure with none of his usual cockiness. “Ah, we had to do a lot of fighting,” Lance said like it should be obvious. “A lot. And uh, we weren’t able to rescue Mr. Holt until we took down the Galra, but Matt found us.”

“How long did you plan on staying out there? What took you so long to contact Earth?”

“We didn’t plan on winding up in space, it kind of just happened,” Shiro took that one. “But once it became apparent that the universe was in danger, and that Allura and Coran needed us, we decided to stay with them until the Galra couldn’t hurt anyone anymore.”

“Allura and Coran! Is there anything you’d like to say to the planet Earth?”

“Oh, well, hello, planet Earth!” Allura grinned, eyes wide like she was a little lost, didn’t know where exactly to look. Keith saw Shiro slip his hand onto her leg and her smile went less manic.

“Yes, hello, planet Earth!” Coran tacked on. “I do like it here! It reminds me so much of the Yilnorpeans!”

Of course, no one knew what the _fuck_ he was talking about and Keith felt it when his teammates eased down a bit because of it. They continued on like that and the next thing Keith knew, it had been fifteen minutes. Then the reporters seemed to run out of the nice questions.

“Shiro, you said you decided to stay until the Galra couldn’t hurt anyone anymore? What exactly did you save us from?”

“Are you saying that all aliens are bad?”

“What about the ones living here now?”

“Or did you not know about that?”

The questions came rapid-fire, one right after another, getting too difficult and double-layered to keep track off. No one knew what to answer first and how to answer without unintentionally saying something else that was worse and Travis was lost in the sea of camera flashes and moving bodies.

_“What about Mr. Kogane?”_

The way Keith saw it, felt it, _breathed it_ , everything stopped.

The way Lance would tell it later, there was a very noticeable lull in everything going on around them. The murmuring quieted, the flashes slightly less frequent. All further questions _stopped_.

All eyes were on Keith, and all the worst of it seemed amplified.

“Isn’t he the very _race_ you were fighting all this time to _defeat_? Isn’t he _Galra_?”

“When did you _find out about him_?”

“How long was it until he _came clean_ about it?”

“Did you ever feel that he _wasn’t safe to be around_?”

“It’s come to our attention that _your father died_ two years ago. How do you think he would feel about you being _Galra_ and fighting against the race he fell in love with?”

“Did you ever feel like there was a part of yourself that you _couldn’t confront or accept_ because of your _Galra heritage_?”

Keith felt an itch to reach up to cover his head in case, for some reason, his Galra ears decided to make an appearance.

“In a war against the _Galra_ , what made you feel that he was _any different from any other Galra_?”

“Keith isn’t–” Pidge started at the same time Lance yelled: “ _Hey_!”

Keith started at the rawness in his voice. The questions stopped, became a sea of quiet murmurs as Keith spotted Travis by the end of the stage talking to someone holding a clipboard.

“Keith isn’t part- _killer_ , he’s just part- _Galra_ ; there’s nothing dangerous about him!” Lance continued. “And, for your information, he’s perfectly fine with himself, but if he wasn’t before, what the hell did you think _this_ was gonna do?!”

“Lance _stop_ ,” Keith stressed, pressing a hand to his shoulder. “You don’t have to do this, I’m okay.”

“No, I really do, I’m not going to spend the rest of our lives back on Earth having people think it’s okay to reject you because of something you can’t control and doesn’t even matter!” Then he stood up, despite the very insistent pressure Keith had applied to Lance’s shoulder to keep him from doing do. “And, another thing we _did_ know about the other Galra living here – Travis told us, as a way to welcome Keith and make him feel like he belongs here. Because he _does_. He _does_ belong here. And another thing? Who brings up the death of someone’s dad like that?! Keith’s dad also doesn’t have shit to do with this because he was an asshole!”

“Okay, that’s too soon, Lance,” Keith murmured up to him.

“Too soon, right, _yikes_ , sorry, babe, _but the point is,_ he and Shiro only just found out about that and they’re working through it, don’t talk about it! If you wanna talk about aliens, you can talk about _this_ illegal alien from Cuba and his _entire Cuban family_ –!”

“Alright that’s enough,” Shiro interjected, standing up, though Keith caught the slight smirk on his face. Allura and Coran scrambled to get Lance out of view as the curtains closed on them and Lance let out a giggle. Travis came running, looking just as amused but really trying for sternness as he beheld them.

“ _Lance_ ,” Travis started, voice filled with a plethora of different emotions. “I was _just_ convincing the stagehand to call it quits! You can’t just–”

“It’s okay, it’s okay, none of us are illegal,” Lance waved him off.

There was a beat of silence. Then Keith was standing, too, punching Lance as hard as he could in the arm. “You scared the _shit_ out of me!” He punched again, then they kept coming. “You just threw yourself and your entire family under the bus to sass some fucking irrelevant-ass reporters, you dickhead!”

“Keith, babe!” Lance laughed, catching his fists in his hands and lowering them as he looked up at Keith without a single regret in the world. “It’s cool. Promise. They’ll spend some time they’ll never get back looking into it and the headlines for the next few weeks are going to be me taking over the press conference. Maybe some people will be mad that I had to. The way they were talking about the Galra like there aren’t Galra that live here–”

“Alright, we get it, you’re both a martyr and a conman,” Pidge rolled her eyes.

“Every time you get a camera on you,” Hunk moaned out, breathing hard like he’d been holding his breath. “Don’t you ever pull something like that again, you hear me?! Thought my best friend was gonna be trampled or something, oh my fucking _God_.”

“Yes, Hunky,” Lance nodded, sending a crooked smile at Keith before facing his team and Travis.

Even though Keith had to stifle his own snicker, he still smacked Lance against the chest for outright grinning when he did this to the poor guy. Hunk didn’t swear often, but when he did, it meant heads were about to roll.

“Alright, I’m sorry everyone,” Lance said over Hunks muttering, though the cocky grin never left his lips. “I didn’t mean to scare you guys, I just know a thing or two about diversions.”

They waited in semi-silence while the room filed out, Travis promising them that no matter what was written about them, everything was going to be fine. “You guys saved the universe. People will remember that.”

Travis told them when it was safe to leave the room, then smiled as he told them to follow him to their families. He felt the joy his teammates felt at finally, finally getting within touching distance, but he couldn’t stop thinking about Lance and his family and what the hell they were going to say to him after what had just transpired here. He couldn’t stop hearing Lance more serious than Keith had seen him in a while as he shouted down complete strangers over him.

“Alright guys, coast is clear,” Travis was saying as he led them past the curtain, past all the seats and to the door, “just follow me to your families. I’m sure they’re ecstatic you guys get to be with them this Christmas,” he smiled.

“No way, it’s Christmas?” Pidge murmured.

“Well, the end of November anyway,” Travis amended. “Thanksgiving just passed.”

“Wow, we were really off,” Hunk mused. “We thought it’d be, like, March here now. It’s not very cold here,” he commented.

“Ah, doesn’t get that cold in Florida,” Travis explained.

“Yeah, same where I’m from,” Hunk nodded.

 “I get to spend Christmas with _Mom_ ,” Pidge marvelled.

Lance gasped then. “ _Keith_! You’re gonna have Christmas with my family!” And Keith knew he should have been more excited about the news, he’d only been going on about McClain Christmas for the last five years, but his head was still back at the events of the press conference.

They filed through the door in a line, Keith and Lance lounging behind. Lance turned to glance over his shoulder and shot him finger guns. Something in him snapped and he _groaned_. Keith grabbed him by the arm and yanked him back into the room and that, of course, made Lance think he was in trouble.

“Listen, I promise I won’t ever pull the illegal alien card again. I mean, I’ve never had to pull it before, I can’t imagine it’ll come up again, but I’ll tell you my family had it coming! You saw back on the castleship how they were _roasting_ me–”

“No, Lance, _no_ ,” Keith stressed. Keith pressed him against the wall and pushed his lips up onto Lance’s. Using Lance’s surprised squawk as a welcoming, Keith licked into Lance’s mouth, wrapping his arms around his favorite broad, wide shoulders.

Lance always caught up quick, tugging Keith in closer as he wrapped his arms around his waist. He grinned against Keith’s lips, bringing a hand up to cup a cheek so red it matched its paladin. Keith grinned back and the kiss fell apart.

“I love you,” Keith told him, quiet and earnest just between the two of them. He looked as determinedly as he could into his favorite shade of blue, hoping Lance could see, feel, sense how much Keith _meant_ it, how much he’d always mean it.

“Aw, babe,” Lance sighed, low and content and held somewhere close and safe in Keith’s chest. He ran his thumb thoughtfully along Keith’s bottom lip. “It’s usually a tooth and a nail for you to say it first.”

“I never wanted to take it for granted,” Keith realized. “It’s really special to me that we can say that now.” He felt Lance tighten his arms around his hips, anchoring him down. “You – you just did that for me, you just… kind of yelled at Earth for me,” Keith realized.

“It was kind of rockstar,” Lance winked.

Keith couldn’t even roll his eyes like he wanted to because he’d have to look away, though he did sigh. “I couldn’t have done any of this without you. Any of it over the last nine years. Okay?”

Lance’s cocky façade dropped, slipped away slowly and surely into something soft and fond. “You’ve got it backwards, Keithy-Kat.” His thumb rested at the corner of Keith’s mouth. “And I know you mean it. Every time. Even when you don’t say it first, you always say it back. Even when you don’t say it at all.”

Keith pulled Lance down a little closer, until they were eye-to-eye, nose-to-nose, lips touching as they moved. “I love you,” Keith told him again, because patterns could change and it was about time he said it as much as he felt it. “A lot.”

“I also love you a lot,” Lance said back as their lips pressed together, because he always knew.

Slowly, reluctantly, Keith pulled back just enough. “Ready to face your family?” He asked, grin turning mischievous.

“Totally ready to face our family,” Lance answered.

When they finally did make it to Lance’s family, Keith was perfectly content to play wallflower with Shiro, Coran, and Allura as Lance’s family quite literally swarmed him, yanking him in and hiding him in a sea of arms and loud, happy Spanish.

“Where were you?” Shiro asked, voice taunting as he sidled closer to Keith against the wall. “Had to mack on your boyfriend for trying to get arrested?”

“Shut up,” Keith snapped.

It wasn’t long before Pidge came to get him, dragging him to officially meet Colleen Holt, who cried and thanked Keith for helping to keep her precious daughter safe like she had needed any of their help. Hunk brought his parents over, who were huggers just like Lance’s family.

Keith hoped, in that moment, that his friends knew how much he really cared about them, and how much he appreciated how much they, in turn, cared about him. Every time he wished he could bring them into his own family like they were doing for him, he had the thought, in a voice that sounded a lot like Shiro’s, that he already had.

Cut off mid-sentence, Keith was pulled into a frenzy so vibrant he was glad he was wearing armor. He found himself pushed and pulled, surrounded by warm embraces and smiling faces until he made it to Lance and didn’t mind that he probably wasn’t getting away for a while.

*

Keith had had questions his entire life that had gone ignored and unanswered until the moment he met the Blade of Marmora. He knew, when they explained themselves, that he should have been wary of them, but he wasn’t. He felt a strange… stillness in his chest, the same stillness that Keith had denied, for the last five years, feeling a small fraction of around the Galra they fought every day.

And that was… telling enough.

But their symbol matched the one on his blade. The blade he’d been left with that no one had ever been able to explain. Until now. Now he knew what it meant, and it solved everything. It explained his dreams about losing himself to something he didn’t understand, how quickly his ankle had started to repair itself when he’d injured it on Mynophray, even the animalistic protectiveness he felt for Lance.

It was his body telling him that he… he had been the enemy the whole time.

That he was made wrong.

He’d won the right to keep his blade and it had revealed his true shape. Somehow it didn’t feel like an accomplishment. How could it with the way Allura was glaring at him? With the way Shiro wouldn’t even look at him? With how Pidge looked scared and Hunk looked _sick_?

He was in enough pain.

His shoulder, when hit, felt like it may have been broken. It only made him feel worse now that he knew what it meant that the pain had drastically subsided before Red had fully gotten him back to the castleship. He forwent the cryopod for his room. He felt, somewhere deep down, that he didn’t deserve the quick fix.

He was in enough pain, physically. He couldn’t handle being out there with the people who were his friends as they deliberated amongst themselves if they should even trust him anymore.

He hadn’t lied to them, but he couldn’t help but feel like all along, he’d lied to himself.

He should have known he was different. He should have known from the beginning, no matter what Shiro and Dianne told him again, and again, and again, that he wasn’t _fine_ , he was a monster.

And a lifetime of fighting it and fighting it had only amounted to his lifetime of trying to be good drastically outweighed by the bad inside him. He would probably have to join the Blade. He didn’t want to. He didn’t want to leave his team, his _friends_ , but he knew he would understand if they wanted him to go. If he went with the Blade, maybe they could finally explain _everything_ to him. Maybe they would know about his mom.

He would have to say goodbye to Lance. And Shiro. And _Red_. _Oh, God, Red_. She’d probably hate him once she found out. Probably knew by now. And Shiro had looked like he’d rather be anywhere else, than looking at his half-Galra brother.

He hadn’t even been able to bring himself to look at Lance. Over the course of two days, he’d managed to single-handedly demonized himself to everyone he cared about by simply being the wrong _thing_.

Voltron was supposed to stand for honor and justice. And how could he possibly fit into that anymore? He knew he had to make a plan, but he couldn’t even sort through his thoughts enough to change out of the Marmora fighting suit. He was right back to feeling trapped and cornered like he used to on Earth, and–

“Keith!”

Keith froze. Of _course_ , Lance was banging on his door. Of course, he would put himself right in the middle of this. Of course, Lance wouldn’t just leave him alone this _once_. And it wasn’t until his hands started to hurt that he realized he’d clenched them, wasn’t until he unclenched them that he realized his eyes were squeezed shut just as tight. It wasn’t until he opened them that he realized he’d been crying.

“Keith, buddy, you okay?”

Keith scoffed and leveled his most _what the fuck_ look at the door. “Yeah, doing great, thanks for asking.”

“I… yeah, I know that was a stupid question,” Lance sighed through the door. “Of course, I’d be less awkward if I were in there with you,” he chuckled weakly.

“No!” Keith shouted. “No, Lance just – just stay away from me!”

“Um. _No_?”

“ _Yes_ , Lance,” Keith argued. He moved to curl himself up on his bed against the wall, glaring at the door. “Just leave me alone.”

“Keith,” Lance said, softer, more desperate. “Baby….”

Keith’s eyes went wide at the term of endearment. Lance had never called him that before. It sent his head into a frenzy while his heart tripped all over itself as they both tried, in earnest, to let Lance’s dumb pet name take precedence over the fact that Keith had just found out he was fucking _Galra_. “ _God_ ,” Keith groaned out. “Just go the fuck away!”

“No can do, okay, listen, I’m coming in!”

Keith hardly had time to yell at him not to before his door was being pried open, long, tan fingers slipping through the crack as his other hand _pulled_. “Goddammit,” Keith swore, furious as Lance managed to slip himself inside, “did you just break my door?!”

“No, I just forced it open it’s fine, me and Hunk do it all the time,” Lance rushed out, taking one long stride across the room to Keith’s bed, but Keith was scrambling up before Lance could join him, gesturing back to the door.

“Get out,” he ordered.

“No,” Lance answered, moving, slowly toward Keith.

And Keith exploded. “Get out, Lance, _fuck_ , why can’t you listen to me just this _once_?! Just go away, okay?! Get out of here before I – before I _hurt_ you somehow! Fucking go help someone else!”

Lance, completely unaffected by Keith’s screaming tirade, reached out toward him. “Keith,” he started calmly. He pulled Keith loosely into his arms, and for some reason far beyond himself, Keith didn’t struggle. “You’d never hurt me. You’d never hurt any of us.”

It made Keith angry, and he tried to shove Lance away again, but Lance wasn’t having it. “You don't know that,” Keith told him. Then more dejected: “I’m a monster.”

“Can you stop talking shit on my favorite Paladin?” Lance asked, trying to lighten the situation. It was what he did. It usually worked, but Keith was beyond a simple laugh. Lance’s weak smile fell. “You’re not – you could never be a monster, Keith. Galra’s not a monster, it’s a race. It’s just a group of ordered genetics. You’re not a monster, Keith, just _Galra_.”

Keith scoffed. “Yeah. I’m Galra. Like the Galra who took Pidge’s family.”

“Decisions they made with their heads, not fucking instincts, Keith.”

“Like the Galra who decided to dismembered Shiro,” Keith glared.

“Keith, it’s not–”

“ _And_ ,” Keith insisted, voice strong, “like the Galra who decided to destroy Allura and Coran’s fucking planet!”

Lance ran a hand through Keith’s hair, pushing it off his face, trying to calm him, trying to get Keith to _see_ him. “You would never do those things. The Marmorites never did those things.”

“You know what, maybe I would!” Keith snapped, removing himself from Lance’s hold. He felt himself shaking with fear and hatred and guilt, more than anything. “You seem to think it’s not in the blood to be destructive, but maybe it is for us! Maybe it’s only a matter of time! Maybe, because I’m only half, it’ll take longer for me to _change_ and lose my morality! I wanted to fucking _leave_ Allura on that Galra ship! What if that was just the beginning? What if – what if you’re wrong? What if I do... hurt you?” He lifted his gaze to look at Lance whose expression wasn’t giving anything away. Keith sighed the last bit of anger out. “I’d – I couldn't live with myself.”

“ _Keith_.” Then Lance was crossing the room in two long strides and pulling Keith back into his arms on the way to the bed.

“And my only fucking friends in the universe hate me now, so there’s that,” Keith muttered, face down in an angry glare. He didn't protest Lance manhandling him back-to-chest into his lap, didn’t mind Lance hooking his chin over his shoulder.

“Baby, no one hates you,” Lance promised. There it was again. Keith’s brain echoed it again and again.

“Allura would beg to differ,” Keith scoffed.

“Yeah, well give her some time,” Lance said, words coming out against Keith’s neck. “I’m not saying she handled it well, but she’s got a lot going on. They’ll come around, just… don't be so hard on yourself. You haven't done anything wrong. All you’ve done is exist and I, personally, ain't gonna fault you for that.”

“Lance. I’ve known something was different about me my whole life. And I worked so hard to be normal and no matter what, I _couldn’t_. And now, I find out that I was never meant to be just normal. And it’s awful. I’m a part of a species that’s destroyed worlds, I – I come from two parents who fucking _left_ me on Earth. I don’t fucking know who I even am anymore, and I barely knew the answer to that two days ago to begin with.”

“Well, of course you’re different,” Lance said, light and easy as his forehead rested against Keith’s shoulder. “You’re Keith Kogane and you’re _incredible_ and that’s a fact because everybody at the Garrison thought so.”

“You….” But Keith wasn’t sure what to say to that. Lance really was unaffected by all this and maybe Keith should have expected it, but Lance always managed to surprise him.

“And none of us out here are normal,” Lance continued. “We all pilot giant mechanical lions that speak to us telepathically. Shiro’s got a metal Galra arm, and Pidge created an entire new identity for herself at _thirteen_. Hunk is literally the nosiest motherfucker I’ve ever met and I have ten siblings, and Allura thinks she’s not enamored with me. Coran talks straight-up nonsense, and I’m inhumanly beautiful.”

Now Keith knew what to say. He rolled his eyes. “No, you’re terrible.”

“ _And_ ,” Lance insisted, “I think you _do_ know who you are. At least I do. You’re Keith Kogane: Incredible. Sexy. Can kill you with his bare hands, probably. I hear his hair is insured for one thousand dollars.”

“Shut up,” Keith laughed involuntarily. He shifted a bit to the side; he could see Lance looking up at him from his shoulder like he’d hung the moon.

“You’re the Red Paladin,” Lance continued, more serious with Keith’s eyes on him. “You’re a force of destruction, but the good kind. The _save the world_ kind. You’re the one that gets stuff done. You’re trust-worthy and determined and dedicated. You really believe in justice so you won’t date me ‘til the universe is saved,” he breathed out a chuckle as Keith rolled his eyes. “You’re the love of my life, Keith Kogane.”

Keith brought his eyes slowly back to Lance whose eyes jumped around Keith’s face like he was trying to map it out and learn it, memorize it. Whose lips curved up and to the side in a sure and certain affectionate grin. Whose face had never looked so warm and serene.

“ _That’s_ who you are.”

Keith thought, as he took a moment to process everything Lance had just said, that to be Galra was nothing compared to the way Lance was ready to defend him at any given moment, even from himself if he had to. Insignificant in the wake of the way Lance looked at him with pride and admiration for just existing. A speck of dust in light of Lance caring about him so much, Galra or not, that he’d just told him for the first time, that he loved him.

 “You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me,” Keith admitted, eyes dropping down nervously as he swooped forward, lightening quick to press their lips together. Lance leaned after him as he pulled away. Keith smiled. “That’s who you are.”

*

They stood outside the building, the seven of them all out of their armor and separated from their families so they could have a few moments before having to split up for the first time in nine years.

“We’ll talk every day,” Hunk was saying to Pidge. “Every day,” he turned to Lance.

“Every day, bro,” Lance nodded with a grin, though he was a little misty-eyed.

“You’ll be bored,” Pidge said, voice wavering, “I’ll just be building all the time.”

“It’s cool, I’ll watch you build, and you can watch me cook,” Hunk said, voice going watery as Pidge’s did.

Pidge viciously wiped at her eyes. “Fuck you, Hunk,” then lunged at him.

“Guys!” Lance whined, then lunged at both of them.

Keith could feel Shiro’s eyes on him, and something about all of it made Keith want to cry too – something he _wasn’t_ about to do. “They’re ridiculous,” he said instead, in a voice that came out far too fond.

Shiro laughed softly. “You gonna be okay, kiddo?”

“Yeah,” Keith nodded, without a second’s deliberation. “I’ve got Lance. We’ll be fine. I’ve been told we work really well together.”

“He’s made you so _cheeky_ ,” Shiro laughed.

“Are you gonna be okay?” Keith echoed. Crossing his arms, he peered around his older brother to spy Allura, turning quickly away as if she hadn’t been listening in.

“We’ll be fine,” Shiro said evenly, though his face was slightly pink at Keith’s raised eyebrow. “They’re going with me to Dad’s grave. Then, we’re going to tour the world. I’m gonna show Allura and Coran Earth in the castleship,” Shiro reminded him, like Keith didn’t already know.

“And get Coran’s blessing to–”

“You’re the brattiest kid I know, Keith,” Shiro huffed.

“Don’t show your face to me again unless you’ve told her,” Keith told him, feeling a stinging behind his eyes that made him blink too hard. He knew it didn’t work when Shiro was tugging him up against him in an instant. Keith clung back harder than he meant to, clung like he used to when he was a kid; clung like he had when Shiro first left for the Garrison.

“We’ll talk every day,” Shiro promised calmly. “And if you do that thing you do where you act like you don’t want to talk to me, I’ll just call Lance and _he’ll_ make you talk to me,” he chuckled.

“I’m really lucky to have you both,” Keith told him, still clinging, eyes still stinging.

“We’re both really lucky to have you, kiddo,” Shiro answered, pulling back to place a hand on his shoulder. His brother was cheesy and overly sentimental at the best of times, but Keith couldn’t find it in himself to be ashamed of it now.

“Just… get a move-on with her already,” Keith smirked, watching the confidence leave his brother’s face. “And take care of the lions.”

“Of course,” Shiro rolled his eyes. “Did you say goodbye to Red?”

“Yeah, while we were still descending.” Saying goodbye to her had been one of the hardest things he’d had to do. He stayed and let her show him all her anger and her disbelief and the painfulness of her quick and heated abandonment. He stayed until she reached the sad acceptance they both felt. He promised it wouldn’t be forever the same time she did.

“If worst comes to worst and she goes missing, I’ll know she’s flying halfway across the world to find you,” Shiro grinned.

It sounded just like Red and Keith loved her for it.

“And Keith, you can call me for anything,” Shiro promised. “I know it’s going to be different, but you’re always first priority, kiddo.”

“I know,” Keith said, content despite it all because he finally did know. “Same to you, if you ever get the balls to–”

“I swear to _God_ ,” Shiro groaned as Keith cackled. “Trying to have a moment with you is like _torture_.”

Allura and Coran made the rounds, saying goodbye to each of them until they wound up in a group hug again. All too soon, it came time for them to leave if they were going to catch their flights.

Pidge trickled away first, hugging them all again and ending on Lance and Keith, dubbing them lovingly: Unbearable Fool, and Partner in Crime. Keith swore, shocked that he’d almost forgotten.

“Pidge, hold it,” he called out. He grabbed his bag off the ground, digging until he felt cold leather. “Got something for you.”

She caught Keith’s jacket half with her arm, half with her face, then looked up at Keith, teary-eyed all over again. “Keith? You really want to give me this?”

“I’m out-growing it, anyway,” Keith teased, helping her into it despite Pidge shoving him. “Merry Christmas, right?”

“Huh,” Pidge beamed wrapped it tight around herself. “You know, I thought for sure Lance would give me his.”

“Nope, that’s Keith’s now,” Lance answered.

Keith nodded. “Gotta agree.”

Pidge laughed, quiet and sad. She forced her arms around Keith’s middle and dropped her head onto his chest. “I love you, dickhead.”

“Love you, gremlin,” Keith responded, the stinging in his eyes getting a lot worse.

“You’re our favorite gremlin,” Lance crowed.

“ _Lance_ ,” Pidge groaned into Keith’s chest, though she pulled back with a smile. With one last hug for Lance, she was off, Sam and Matt trailing behind her as her mother took the lead.

Hunk was next, all but wailing and refusing to let go of Lance who was holding on just as tight. No one wanted to separate them, but no one wanted Hunk to miss his flight either.

“I’ll visit you guys real soon!” Hunk called as his parents led him away.

“You better!” Lance screeched back.

“Bye, Hunk!” Keith called out.

“Bye, Keith!”

They watched in silence as Hunk and his parents got into their cab and drove away, leaving Lance and Keith.

“Guess it’s time,” Keith said, words heavy on his tongue.

“Keith,” Lance said softly. “Are you sure you don’t want to see your dad’s grave with Shiro?”

Keith only nodded. Lance had been patient since Keith finally told him about his dad, but he knew Lance didn’t really understand. Though he was working through it, he knew without a doubt he wanted space to sort it out. Maybe one day, he’d want to see the grave, but it wasn’t going to be any time soon.

“Okay,” Lance nodded back. “Whatever you want. But we gotta get a move on,” Lance nodded his head had back to where his family stood far off behind him with four taxis. “We’ve got a lot of people to board.”

“Right,” Keith said, grin taking up his face.

“Goodbye, lads!” Coran exclaimed, eyes watery as he hugged them both. Keith felt Lance squeezing the hardest.

“Bye, Coran,” Lance wheezed. “Get in here, Allura!” He called. “You know I’ll always love you!”

“ _Lance_ ,” Allura sighed with a grin. She hugged them both when Coran stepped aside, dropping a kiss on each of their cheeks. “Take care, you too. I’ll really, really miss you. Especially you, Lance,” she admitted, like she knew she’d regret it.

“ _Score_ ,” Lance hissed, wrapping an arm around Keith who could only roll his eyes. He turned amused eyes onto Shiro. “Shiro!” Lance snapped. He gestured with his free hand to Allura then shouted: “ _What is the hold-up_?!”

Coran laughed louder than any of them. Shiro kept a stoic expression though the flushing of his skin betrayed him. “Lance,” he sighed after a beat. “I’m going to miss you.”

“Bring it in,” Lance ordered.

Shiro, like Coran and Allura before him hugged the both of them before stepping back and turning fond eyes on them. “Take care of yourselves.”

“Yeah, okay,” Keith rolled his eyes.

“And you had better take good care of my baby brother,” Shiro said seriously to Lance.

“Shiro!” Keith yelled, mortified.

“Don’t worry,” Lance vowed, pulling Keith in closer. “I’ll treat him like a prince.”

“ _Lance_ ,” Keith groaned.

“Payback,” Shiro shrugged to Keith, like that made up for everything. “Get going, you two. Don’t want you to miss your flight.”

Shiro, Allura, and Coran all gathered up their things, helping Keith and Lance grab their own and Keith took one more moment to _see_ his brother for the last time in person for who knew how long. He took one more moment to _see_ how peaceful he looked to be home, and how after everything, Shiro cared so much for him.

“Okay,” Keith said quietly. “Bye, Shiro.”

Shiro placed a gentle hand onto his shoulder that squeezed once, then softly pushed him toward Lance’s family. “Bye, Keith.” Shiro was telling him to move forward and be happy and Keith wasn’t going to let him down.

Lance took his hand; a gentle tug was all he needed. Keith looked forward to his future but couldn’t help but worry Shiro wouldn’t be in it. There was something about the warmness of Lance’s hand around his, however, and the way Shiro kept waving no matter how often Keith looked back, that assured him not everything had to change.

Lance was good at letting Keith have his moments. He was just as good at knowing when to pull Keith out. Silence gone on long enough, Keith felt Lance squeeze his hand for his attention.

“So,” he started, flashing the crooked grin Keith loved so much. “Cuba together?”

Keith squeezed his hand back, sure of his future, sure of his brother, sure of _Lance_. “You bet your sweet ass, Cuba together.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Talk to me and tell me what you think~


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Shiro tried to ask me the other day if there was anything I want to tell him about you and me.”
> 
> Keith heard him chuckle, could hear the amusement in his voice. “What’d you say?”
> 
> Slowly, Keith opened his eyes and forced himself to meet the hope and adoration in Lance’s. “I don’t think you want to know what I said.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Final chapter

When Keith was a kid, Shiro would pretend to surreptitiously pick out Christmas gifts for Keith that he knew he’d hate. He pretended not to know Keith was watching. He let Keith get disappointed about it and kept it to himself all the way home. When Christmas came, Keith would hesitantly open it up, pretending not to know what it was only to be surprised and utterly amazed, and filled with childlike wonder at Shiro somehow having presented him with something _cool_.

When Keith was a young teenager, he’d quickly learned how to do it back.

Their first Christmas in space had been the most epic round yet, and though they had both accepted that nothing would ever top it, they still had high hopes for a close second.

“I’m watching you _so_ closely, Keith,” Shiro told him smugly – and he was, arms up and crossed as he stood three inches behind him. “You’re not going to get me this time, I’m going to see everything.”

_“Look at me, I’m the black paladin, I think I’m omnipotent.”_

“I’m serious, Keith,” Shiro insisted, tone gone serious like when he and Pidge were goofing around during training. The fact that he would use that voice now made it all so much better. “I’m gonna see when you switch it out.”

“What, you don’t like these nineties-themed lycra bike shorts that you can use for your training?” Keith asked, like Shiro hadn’t already missed it, anyway. Keith had bought his real present an hour ago while Lance had been creating a diversion. “You’re always complaining that you hate practicing in the armor, and I’m just trying to be a good brother, Shiro.”

“You’re really getting me those shorts the way I’m really getting you this blue hair-dye,” Shiro snapped.

“Yeah?” Keith asked conversationally, as he slid the shorts onto the check-out counter.

“Keith, stop bluffing,” Shiro ordered. “How far are you willing to go?”

The cashier told Keith his total and he dropped exact change into the proffered three-fingered hand. “You’re kind of starting to hurt my feelings, Shiro,” Keith told him, as he took his receipt.

Keith watched Shiro’s face turn affronted, then determined as he slid the hair-dye onto the counter.

Though he expected to be gifted another plethora of knives from his fellow paladins, Keith had tried to be a bit more creative this year with their gifts. He’d gotten three new games for Pidge to play on her system, some of the sparkliest hair accessories he could find for Allura, mustache styling cream for Coran, the music of a band Hunk had grown to like, hair gel for Lance, and a collection of framed photographs of himself as well as all the paladins for Shiro, who lamented year after year over never having any good pictures of Keith.

And true, he was out of finances and resources now that he’d treated his friends to an enjoyable Christmas, but that wasn’t even all he had gotten.

Lance had said they didn’t have to get each other anything special, admitting, albeit reluctantly, that they technically weren’t together, so it didn’t matter. Of course, Keith had gotten him something special, anyway, and he knew Lance had probably gotten Keith something before he’d even called for the conversation.

“So,” Shiro started, taking his own receipt and bottle of blue hair-dye as they headed to their meeting point. “Since I’ve got you for a while, I actually wanted to ask you something kind of obvious?”

“Obvious,” Keith echoed.

“About Lance,” Shiro explained.

Keith glared. “ _No_.”

“Come on, Keith,” Shiro continued. “I know for a while there, things were weird with you two. And you didn’t want to talk about it, so I didn’t press, but I just want to make sure things are okay. I mean, I did talk to him about that Clyan warrior, but I want to hear it from you.”

“ _Shiro_ ,” Keith groaned. “I told you not to say anything!”

“You can’t tell me not to look after you, Keith, that’s my job,” Shiro told him, like it was something he should know by now, and really, it was. Keith just liked to pretend Shiro let him be his own adult sometimes.

“Well, we’re okay,” Keith rushed out. “We’re not fighting anymore, we handled it and put it behind us. We got past our differences and save the fighting for the Galra,” he explained, sticking to things he knew Shiro would be proud to hear. “We know how to be adults about this now, so don’t worry.”

“Keith,” Shiro sighed, expectantly, “you can tell me the truth. You know this isn’t about the way you used to be.”

Keith paused in his stride, watched as Shiro slowly stopped, too. He wanted to leave and magically never have to talk about this with Shiro. He wanted to ask how Shiro even knew, what exactly gave him away, if it was something he could have prevented or hidden better. He wanted to know if Shiro was concerned as someone who cared about their progress as a team as the leader of Voltron, or as someone who cared about him as a person – as his brother.

“I just want to know that you’re okay,” Shiro explained.

“It doesn’t matter,” Keith admitted finally. “I know we have a job to do, so it doesn’t matter how I feel,” Keith said, because he _understood_ that. He wasn’t some frivolous _kid_ , he was a soldier who had to think about the well-being of everyone. If anyone would understand that, it was Shiro. “There are bigger things to worry about than if I’m okay.”

“Well, how do you expect to do a good job with everything else if you’re not?” Shiro countered.

And _that_. That he hadn’t been expecting. “What do you mean?”

“I mean,” Shiro took a moment to compose his words. “I mean you can’t just turn off everything inside you like this. There’s a lot of responsibility on us, yeah, and we have a duty to do what we can to protect the universe, sure, but it’s okay to want things for yourself, Keith. It’s okay to want Lance.”

And Keith wanted to say that no, it wasn’t. He wanted Lance more than anything and look where that had gotten him. Conflicted, confused, and constantly worrying about Lance calling this quits, or himself making a huge mistake and just diving in despite everything.

And for a moment, he imagined to himself what that would be like. If he really did listen to Shiro and Lance and the throbbing in his chest and let himself feel what he was feeling. He let himself imagine that it was okay to constantly be distracted because he couldn’t stop his fucking heart from jumping up his throat at the sound of his name. He imagined not having to feel guilty and panicked when he couldn’t think straight at the mere sight of the Blue Paladin.

And Shiro – his biased, slightly doting, brother, Shiro – would support him no matter what. As his brother, Shiro had always encouraged Keith to do things Shiro had never been able to let himself do. Things that Shiro had learned the hard way, things he wanted Keith to experience the right way.

But as his leader, Keith knew that Shiro tended to lead by example. Keith knew he could work himself for days he was so dedicated. Keith knew his brother loved him and wanted him happy, but Keith knew he also loved Allura. And he knew she loved him back. He also knew they had never said a word about it.

Keith understood what Shiro was saying, but he also saw what he was doing. It was okay to want, but selfish to have.

And when Christmas arrived, after all the effort Keith extended to appear normal – the hovering around Shiro and watching him watch Allura, the convening near the tree Hunk and Pidge made out of metal scraps, and the guessing which gift was from who, the Marmorites dropping by, and everyone saying goodnight – he was truly forced to make that distinction.

As he rounded the corner into the observation deck – after two hours of trying to sleep to no avail – he had the thought that he was an idiot. Finding Lance there sitting on the floor by the Christmas tree exactly where Keith wanted to be was really something he should have expected.

“Hey,” Lance offered, looking up when Keith stepped in. He offered a small side smile, one that looked plastered on like the one he flashed when they agreed they couldn’t be together.

“Hey,” Keith said back slowly. “Should I go?”

“No, dude,” Lance said quickly, hand outstretched. “We can still talk and stuff. We’re still friends.” He watched Keith carefully. “What are you doing up?”

Keith shrugged, stepped further into the room. “Could ask you the same thing.”

“Gonna kill us all with all that edge,” Lance teased. He pat the floor beside him. “Take a seat?”

Wordlessly, Keith joined him, spent a moment looking up at the tree lights, then back to see that Lance was watching him, uninhibited. “Most people look away when they get caught staring,” Keith murmured, trying not to be flattered by it, trying not to feel anything about it.

“I’m not most people,” Lance said, because of course, he would. “So, are you up for a reason? Or is it just the insomnia thing again?”

“A little of both, I guess,” Keith admitted. “I guess I wanted to see the Christmas lights since I couldn’t sleep.”

“No judgment, dude,” Lance shrugged, though he did look like he wanted to coo at him. “That’s why I’m here.”

“They calm me down,” Keith sighed. “I didn’t really get too many typical Christmases back on Earth.”

Lance nodded. “I know,” he said softly.

Lance knew all about it. He knew about Dianne being depressed the first couple of years, then about her getting sick with cancer for the rest of them. He knew about their father choosing Christmas to force himself back into their lives like he belonged there and making everything worse each year. He knew about how Dianne died, about how Keith and Shiro had basically lived at the hospital during her last days, then moved into a new apartment just for the two of them. He knew about Shiro making it a point to go wild on their first Christmas in the new apartment for the next few years up until he vanished in space.

“But, you like Christmas now,” Lance smiled.

“Well, yeah. I mean, it’s never gonna top the Christmases me and Shiro had, but Christmas out here is pretty great. It’s like the movies. A bunch of people you like, hanging out surrounded by Christmas lights and snow, and I mean we’re missing the snow part, but. I like this.”

“Yeah, we’re a good bunch,” Lance commented. “You know I come from a big family. Me and my nine siblings. Obviously, the holidays are huge. My entire family comes over to my house, or sometimes we go to my grandma’s and it’s _insane_. There’s hardly breathing room. Christmas gets so goddamn expensive as a McClain if you decide to do it that way. Me and my siblings, we usually just make food for everyone and called it a day. Cleo makes the best empanadas. Like, in the world, I shit you not.”

“I’ve never had one,” Keith admitted sheepishly. “Me and Shiro liked Chinese food a lot.”

“What?! Keith, as soon as we get back to Earth, my sister is making you empanadas!” Lance exclaimed.

“Okay.” He felt the sweet smile on his face, felt his body language shifting in Lance’s direction to be more welcoming, but he couldn’t stop it. “What do you make?”

“Oh, _I_ am in charge of quesadillas!” Lance announced proudly. “Tricky I know, but I do a pretty good job. Pile on the cheese – like _too much_ cheese, but no one complains. And I make pretty good guacamole dip.”

“Sounds good,” Keith nodded in approval. “I like quesadillas.”

“You have no idea,” Lance continued, now in storytelling mode. “We would all come together and cook the shit out of everything in the house. There were Christmas lights everywhere and the music was all in Spanish and me and my brothers and sisters would sing at the top of our lungs. So loud the adults had to tell us to shut the fuck up, but then they always joined right in when they got drunk enough. We would eat, and stay up all night, and Cleo let us all sleep in her room. She had the _coolest room_. Well, she didn’t let the babies sleep in there, just me and Lucas and Sophia if she begged. Sofia’s a fucking crybaby and she would have cried to mom if we didn’t let her sleep in there.”

“It sounds really fun,” Keith said, soft and quiet between them.

“Yeah,” Lance nodded. His blue eyes reflected the rainbow lights around them. “You’d love it. They’d love you.”

“They’d be terrified of me,” Keith shook his head, trying to lighten the mood, trying to blink the love out of his eyes.

“They met Hunk once and damn-near adopted him,” Lance laughed. “Had to tell them repeatedly that the kid has parents. You being half-alien would be the best thing that ever happened to them. My family just… loves people.”

Keith rested his head atop his knees while Lance spoke and felt himself smiling. Lance was always expressive, but he was always that much more emotive and invested when he talked about his family.

“You know, the holidays are kind of hard now,” Lance admitted. “I spend the whole time thinking about them and what they’re doing without me, what decorations they put up this year. Who makes the quesadillas now? What songs are they singing? How Sophia’s liking high school. What my mom is doing. It’s gotten better over the years thanks to you, though.”

“What, me?” Keith puzzled taken aback. He plummeted further into his guilt. Keith hadn’t done anything but hurt Lance, make him doubt himself and Keith’s feelings for him. He’d only made things harder. “How _me_? I haven’t done anything.”

Lance looked at him, blue eyes and tan skin awash in the glow of the Christmas lights. He was ethereal, almost, and Keith never got tired of all the times he’d thought in his life that Lance McClain couldn’t be real.

“Did you know that I used to imagine kissing you under the mistletoe?” Lance asked instead.

Keith burrowed further into his knees, let his hair fall across his hot face. “No. I didn’t know that.”

“Well, I did,” Lance continued, pushing Keith’s hair back. “I did that for, like, every year out here. And then I started imagining what it’d be like to kiss you at the beach in my town, or after battles, or just because you wanted me to. And I had this _moment,_ you know, where it hit me that I was hoping and aspiring for things other than just to go home. That my life didn't stop just because I'm out here, because I wanted to be present in it. I wanted to accomplish other things than only surviving until we got back to Earth, you know? Like, my life is in two segments, but they’re still the same life and I guess I realized I can care about both those segments because _God_ , I care about you.”

“I care about you, too,” Keith murmured, numb. The more Lance talked about the way he’d always felt for him, the more Keith couldn’t understand how he’d missed it. Lance had always felt his feelings so blatantly. Keith had always admired that about him before, but somewhere mixed in with all the want he felt and couldn’t address, he had started to envy it. He shut his eyes. “Shiro tried to ask me the other day if there was anything I want to tell him about you and me.”

Keith heard him chuckle, could hear the amusement in his voice. “What’d you say?”

Slowly, Keith opened his eyes and forced himself to meet the hope and adoration in Lance’s. “I don’t think you want to know what I said.”

Lance’s face didn’t exactly fall, but rather did something that looked as conflicted as Keith felt. “You know, I got you something,” he started. Then his hand disappeared into his jacket pocket and began rooting around until Keith stopped his hand.

“Are you sure you want to–?” Keith tried. “Maybe it’s not such a good idea with our, you know. Our situation.”

“Of course, I do,” Lance assured him, stopping Keith’s hands by lacing their fingers together. “And come on, it’s _Christmas_. And don’t act like you didn’t know I would do this,” he added.

Against everything responsible in him, Keith smiled. “I got you something, too.”

“Keith, I told you not to! I told you, you didn’t have to worry about it!”

“You’re a hypocrite,” Keith told him around an involuntary chuckle. Of course, he was worse. He shouldn’t even be here.

Lance noticed his mood shift immediately. “Are you sure you want to see it?” Lance pressed, looking serious as serious and conflicted as Keith felt. “I know I’m not always good at it, but I really don’t want to make whatever this is worse for you.”

 _For you_ , Lance had said. Lance knew how to handle this without falling apart and pushing everyone away. _Keith_ was the one with the problem. “Don’t worry about that. Come on, I want to see what you got me.”

Lance studied him a moment, before a small, shy smile broke free. “Okay, sit tight.” He pushed himself up and dug around behind the tree, retrieving a small blue and red wrapped box.

Keith retrieved Lance’s gift, thin and wrapped in purple, from his jacket pocket. “Here, you go,” he said, crossing his legs in front of him.

Smiling softly, Lance took the gift from Keith’s hand, setting his small boxed gift into its place, but Keith waited, wanting to watch Lance open his first. “Keith,” Lance uttered, pulling off the small lid. “These are pictures of us.” He turned momentarily to show Keith a soft grin, then started to sort through them.

“Yeah,” Keith nodded sheepishly, “I know I got the same thing for Shiro, and it’s not really a gift, but I know you keep pictures of your family in your wallet and in your room, so I thought you’d–”

“No, you gave Shiro pictures of everyone, but these are just you and me,” Lance said softly. “I can put them in my wallet, too. Look at these. Look at this one.” He held up one where Lance sat beside Keith in this very room. Keith remembered that day, they had been talking to Hunk about Shay, but Keith had caught Lance looking at him again and again. “Do you always look at me like this?”

“Like what?” Keith demanded, turning the photo more towards himself.

“Like… I don’t know, like you never want to stop looking.”

Keith’s face was burning as Lance continued to sift through them. He scooted closer to him on the floor. “Are all those pictures of me looking at you?” He managed. Despite having looked through them once Pidge was finished, but he wouldn’t be surprised at all if she had managed to slip more embarrassing ones into the stack when Keith wasn’t looking.

“There are a few here of me looking at you,” Lance chuckled sweetly, “like you’re the fucking sun in my sky.” He paused as he held it up. “I know these are for me, but you should keep this one, Keith,” he decided, placing it into his hand. “So you can see how I see you.”

 _Stop_. Keith dropped the photo in his jacket pocket on autopilot, brain somewhere far, far away. _Stop making me want to kiss you_.

“You’re looking at me like you never want to stop looking again,” Lance told him smugly.

“I don’t,” Keith admitted dumbly.

Keith could see the wheels in Lance’s brain turning, but watched as Lance did nothing about it. He looked reluctant to drag his eyes away from Keith and back to the photos. Keith wanted to pull his face back to him. “There’s one of just you in here,” Lance commented. He held it up. Keith was smiling in this one. Keith remembered Lance had been saying something funny and Pidge had gotten a closeup of his face. He hadn’t thought it was anything special. Clearly, Pidge thought otherwise. “Keith, holy shit,” Lance awed. “You’re so fucking beautiful. I’m gonna take this one everywhere with me.”

“Pidge said you’d say that,” Keith commented, hoping to distract from his burning face.

“Pidge,” Lance scoffed, touching his thumb to the heat of Keith’s cheek. Keith couldn’t bring himself to pull away. “Figures she was the mastermind here.”

“Are you saying I couldn’t be?” Keith teased.

“I’m saying, I love these, Keith. Really,” Lance smiled. “It’s your turn.” He gestured to his gift.

“Okay,” Keith managed, uncertain. He was uncertain about whether or not he could handle Lance’s gift, uncertain about whether or not he would tackle Lance to the floor and throw away everything he’d been working so hard to keep in balance.

He unwrapped the box, nudging Lance for the blue and red wrapping paper. He stared down inside at a long, silver-chained necklace, the pendent spelling out something in unmistakably Altean small lettering. Picking it up with gentle fingers, he watched Lance watch him.

“What’s it say?” Keith asked, thumbing over the metal, Altean wording.

“It’s my name,” Lance admitted, locking eyes with Keith as if to gauge his reaction. He reached into his shirt, pulling out a matching chain “This is yours. I asked Coran how to write everyone’s name in Altean, don’t worry – I was sneaky,” Lance said quickly. “I thought you might like it, ‘cause, you know, we kind of… carry Altean history with us now. And it’s important. And this way, we only have to hide these from Coran and Allura and Pidge, instead of everyone.”

“It’s so couple-y.” Keith traced his thumb along Lance’s name, followed the curves and bends of the letters.

“Yeah, I know,” Lance admitted, voice strangely even. “You really don’t have to wear it, I promise I won’t be mad. I just had to get you something aside from knives, and – admittedly, I want you to think about me, so–”

“Lance, shut up,” Keith slid the necklace over his head, watched it hang and settle into place over his shirt. “I love it, okay?”

Lance’s face smoothed out from panic into something fond as he smiled. “Okay.”

Keith nodded, smiling himself. “Okay.”

“You know,” Lance admitted. “I guess I am being selfish compared to everyone else. I mean, I don’t know what everyone here wants more than anything else. I know Allura and Coran probably want Altea back. Pidge wants her family and Shiro wants to beat Zarkon. I mean we all do, right? Those are good things to want and I want those things, too, but do you know what I really want right now at this moment? More than anything else? I just want to be able to really be with you. And I’m not sucking up or trying to pressure you or anything, it’s just… that’s the goal. Spending Christmas with you someday. Like my parents do.”

Keith was stunned, and frozen, and he knew what he wanted, but he also knew his _place,_ but _Lance_ – Lance had always had a big mouth, had always been way too honest at times, but this went far past just being candid. It was dangerous. And if Keith had a weak spot of any kind – a chink anywhere in his armor, it was _Lance_. “Your family means everything to you,” Keith tried to remind him.

“ _You_ ,” Lance insisted. “That’s it. That’s all.” He stared a few moments longer, then he shook his head. Offering a weak chuckle, he dropped his gaze. “So, apologetically, that’s my… embarrassing… wish list. _Yikes_. So, what about you? You can have your pick of anything in the universe right now, what do you pick: all the answers to Earth’s unknown mysteries or a date with Mothman? You can go as wild as you want on this one, I won’t judge you.”

But that was the _thing_ : judgement or not, Keith knew what he wanted most in the universe, but _it didn’t matter_. It didn’t matter that he wanted Lance more than he’d ever wanted anything in his life, he had responsibilities to focus on and lives to save and so did Lance – so did all of them, but most importantly, Shiro.

Shiro who chose not to say anything to Allura half out of duty, and half out of fear. Shiro who only wanted the best for Keith – who had even given Keith his blessing, even if it was _wrong_ , and ill-advised and unwise, and _irresponsible_ –

Shiro who wasn’t here right now.

Keith saw the poorly hidden dejection in Lance’s eyes, muddling the cerulean blue and made his choice.

Keith turned and reached his hands up to the sides of Lance’s face, shut his eyes, and slot his lips over Lance’s more gently than he’d ever kissed anybody. He opened his eyes to see that Lance’s had fallen shut, brows creased in confusion and determination, and Keith murmured: “You,” against his lips. Then, he dove back in.

Lance’s hands gravitated to his waist as Keith’s arms wound around his shoulders and Lance pulled him into his lap. They kissed sad and slow, sweet and loving as Keith reminded himself that it was okay to want. _And just this once_ , he thought as Lance pulled him even closer and Keith sighed out all his conflict, all his inhibitions, all his caution and his restraint; it could be okay to have.

*

Keith was forced into consciousness with the sound of _chirping_. At first, he fought it, knowing somehow, from the feel of it all, that it was barbarically early. Moreover, he’d been living back on Earth nearly two weeks without being disturbed by early-morning _chirping_ for any of it.

Now that he thought of it, actually, he hadn't heard it once in nine years. The last he remembered of it, he and Shiro had just moved into their new apartment where the birds were astronomically loud and Shiro had had to stop Keith from shooting at them with BB guns. And when he had moved to the desert, it hadn’t been quite chirping, more the mournful caws of the buzzards and vultures preying on dead carcasses. It wasn't something he really noticed in his life before entering into space, but now it registered in his mind as something very human.

Something very _Earth_.

He turned to his side to face Lance, asleep and wrapped around him like a vice. He was smiling a little, drooling a lot, and held Keith in a death grip. Smiling to himself, Keith latched onto Lance’s arm across his hip and tucked it into Lance’s side. Trying to roll off Lance’s other arm proved to be a problem.

“Keith,” Lance mumbled, voice scratchy with sleep, the last two letters of his name not making a sound on the way out of his mouth. He peeled a shockingly blue eye open a crack and saw Keith edging his way off the bed. “Where’re you going?”

He loved Lance so much his chest hurt. “Go back to sleep, I’m just going over there.” Keith pointed to Lance’s bay window, but he knew Lance didn't see it since he hadn't taken his eyes off Keith’s.

“Are you okay?” Lance asked instead, sitting up, making Keith want to press him back down. Lance always did this – woke up thinking it was his job to accommodate Keith since he was technically a guest here. “You’re a little purple today.”

But he heard the chirping again and something inside Keith got impatient and he just wanted to _see_. “Lance, _birds_!” Keith blurted out, smiling like an idiot as he pointed at the window.

“Birds,” Lance puzzled, sitting up further. Keith watched Lance visibly wake up. With his knees pulled up against his chest, he looked so much smaller. He lowered them a little, resting his elbows atop his knees and dropped his face into his hands. “Oh my God, oh my _God_ , you’re so _cute_ ,” he groaned.

“What?” Keith snapped, taken aback. Lance had said he looked purple. He reached up feeling atop his head to make sure the _bat ears_ hadn’t made an appearance. “I’m not _cute_ , shut up!”

Lance dropped his hands to just _look_ at him, smug and knowing and loving. “Come on,” Lance said finally, pushing himself off the bed. He walked around the bed to grab Keith’s hand, sat beside him on the cushioned window seats. “Birds,” Lance chuckled softly. “I guess.”

“Birds,” Keith replied. Keith watched as Lance brought one of his knees up onto the cushion, leaned his head against it and shut his eyes. Maybe he would go back to sleep and stop worrying about him.

“We’ve got that meeting with the realtor tomorrow,” Lance said, mumbled out through lips smooshed against bony knees, hand patting along the top of Keith’s head, feeling, undoubtedly, for said bat ears. “Don’t forget.”

“Alright, Shiro.” Keith grinned when Lance sighed dejectedly at his search coming up empty. He took solace in stroking Keith’s normal human head.

Lance paused in his ministrations, jaw dropped open theatrically to show that he was truly affronted. “Alright, let’s get one thing straight, Red, I may be a mom sometimes, but I am _never_ a Shiro.”

Keith grinned. “‘Keith, are you feeling okay? Did you eat? Are you comfortable?” he teased, bumping Lance’s shoulder with his. “’Do you need anything, Keithy-Kat? Let me just _adjust your sleeping position_ because you’re going to wake up hating life if I leave you like that.’ Not to mention, I know you were feeling for my Galra ears just now.”

“Well, I _love_ you, you ass!” Lance laughed, nudging him back. “And we’re getting a house together, so you’re gonna have to get used to all that. We’re gonna be real adults. With, like, bills and stuff.”

“We’re about to be a real couple that _lives_ together,” Keith realized.

Lance smirked. “Think we can do it?”

“If that’s a challenge, then yeah.”

“Yeah,” Lance nodded. “There’s so much we can do in that house, Keith. And we can be the cool couple out of our snobby neighbors and Team Voltron can come visit us there next Christmas! There was this kid in my middle school who lived out there who used to invite us over for video games and his house was _unreal_ , those are some of the nicest houses in my town. I’ve wanted to live there my whole life,” he gushed. His eyes were bright, grin wide as he nodded in excitement.

With Christmas at the end of the week, they were hopefully moving into their new home shortly after, since they were officially signing papers on it tomorrow. Though, as excited as Keith was for the move and everything that came with it, admittedly, he was in no immediate rush to leave Lance’s family’s house.

The advent of Christmas had been everything Lance had always gushed about on the castleship: Too many family members to count, loud music, tons of Christmas lights, the kids convening in Josephine’s room which had been Cleo’s old room, and to top it off, an insurmountable amount of food.

Lance’s new two-year-old sister, Terra had approached him like she already knew him. Cleo and her husband, Stephen, had two children: four-year-old Bethany and two-year-old Seth, who got sucked right into Lance’s rockstar charm like the rest of them. Sophia, being only twenty-three, didn’t have anyone new in her life aside from a boyfriend Keith didn’t miss Lance giving the stank eye to.

Between watching Lance slip back into his old life almost like he’d never been gone, making too-cheesy quesadillas and too-zesty guacamole dip; hearing stories of young Lance before Keith met him; and sitting with him as they met all of Lance’s new family members, Keith grew even fonder of Lance than he ever thought he could.

On the first night, Lance’s old room – memorialized and held sacred as all that Lance had been on Earth – was left to them, and Lance couldn’t have been more reluctant. “Oh,” he had said, pushing the door open. “Right. Seventeen-year-old Lance.” He cringed as Keith entered behind him. “ _Yikes_.”

“Oh, my _God_.” Deep blue walls. “This was you as a teenager?” Walls full of posters and concert tickets and articles of _sea life_. “While you were being such a _bitch_ to me at the Garrison? Your room is decorated like the _ocean_.”

It was a medium-sized room and Keith wondered who he’d had to fight to get one with a bay window, shedding light on the snow globes on one of his shelves and the books scattered along his dresser. There were magazines on the bedside table and a soccer ball on the floor, and a guitar propped up in the corner. It was all so _teenager_ - _y_ and he could _see_ Lance coming home from school and plopping down on his bed to look up at the–

“ _Glow-in-the-dark ceiling stars_ ,” Keith crowed, pointing up. “You have the poster for _Sharknado_ up on your wall.” Keith loved what it all represented as much as he loved the man beside him, but _still_. “You had a twin-sized bed?”

Lance watched Keith turn to him, smiling. “One day I just got this tall. It happened too quick for my parents to get me a new mattress, because then I was off for the Garrison, but it wasn’t too horrible. My feet hung off the bed, but I was skinny,” he shrugged out of his shirt and jeans.

“You _are_ skinny,” Keith smirked, shimmying out of his own clothes. “We’re barely gonna fit.”

“It’s not like we don’t sleep all over each other anyway,” Lance told him, pulling Keith down onto the mattress with him.

They settled in, feet hanging off the edge of the mattress. Keith looked around at old traces of Lance, and Lance looked at Keith. “You were a lucky kid, Lance,” Keith said finally, “but your mattress is ridiculous.”

“Hey, don’t knock my mattress, I can still take you to _heaven_ on this mattress,” Lance retorted cockily, lips and brows quirked up.

Keith turned fully onto his side, amusement heavy on his face. He leaned in, smirking all the while as he looked up at Lance through lidded eyes. “You’re gonna take me to heaven under these glow-in-the-dark ceiling stars, McClain?” Keith challenged, words broken up by his poorly-contained snickering.

Lance pulled him in closer by the waist, tan hands on bare alabaster skin. “It’s really romantic if you have low standards,” he had winked.

“Good thing I’m with you.” Keith surged forward to push their lips together, growing ever fonder of Lance.

Lance, beautiful Earth-boy made from love and closeness, surrounded by it all his life. Lance, enchanting sun child with eyes like the sea and a heart just as deep. Terrifying wonder-boy who seared and burned himself into Keith’s skin with the sincerity of his smile.

Lance’s hand picked up, stroking Keith’s hair as the birds grew louder with the sun’s rising. “So, why’d you want to do this again?” he asked. “Birds are fucking obnoxious. This only made me realize that I kind of hate birds. At least this early in the morning.”

“I told you, you didn’t have to come over here with me.”

“Was thinking my cute boyfriend would let me touch his bat ears,” Lance shrugged, “I miss those guys – they’ve gotta be the softest things in the entire universe.” And Keith beamed.

Lance, wide-eyed moon-boy with stars in his veins and constellations on his skin, who had never known a thing or concept or _attribute_ that he couldn’t grow to love. Who had accepted Keith before he could even accept himself. “Not as soft as you, McClain.” But Keith knew that neither his bat ears or his boyfriend were nearly as soft as he was.

*

When Matt found them, Keith had been with Kolivan. He had almost missed the signal that the castleship was being breached, but managed to fight his way out of Kolivan’s head hold in time. He had missed Pidge’s first embrace with her brother while he and Kolivan were running to the operation deck.

He hadn’t missed Lance’s glare.

Not that it was exactly out of place, these days. With their relationship still so testy and structured in its greyness, and with Keith spending more and more time with the Blade of Marmora, it seemed like all Lance did anymore was glare at him. Keith knew that his attitude lately wasn’t helping, but he didn’t understand what Lance had _expected_.

For years, Keith had loved Lance, but it didn’t matter in comparison to the duty he had to the universe and they had _discussed_ that. For his entire life, Keith had questioned who he was and why he was so different, and now he had the Marmorites to give him answers, to teach him about himself, and he and Lance had discussed _that_.

None of that made it any easier.

Keith held it in as Pidge gushed to her brother about all of them and the adventures they’d been on. He held it in as Matt told them how he escaped the Galra ship with the other rebels – how he had put his time in resources from then on into trying to find this Voltron he kept hearing about. How unbelievably happy he was to have stumbled across Shiro and his own baby sister. He held it in as Pidge, Matt, Shiro, Kolivan, and Allura moved onto spit-balling plans for finally putting an end to the Galra with their pooled information, ways to save Sam Holt and countless other prisoners.

He held it in until he and Lance were the last ones in the room. “Lance, please, don’t–”

“Pidge found her _brother_ ,” Lance glared, eyes trained steadily onto the floor, “and you weren’t here for it.”

“So I missed Matt coming aboard,” Keith argued, keeping his voice level. “I was on the way! I was here for most of it.”

“You should have been here for all of it,” Lance insisted, turning angry blue eyes onto Keith’s. “You should have been here when _we_ were.”

Keith’s mouth set in a heavy frown. It had been months of comments like that and months of Keith letting it slide, but he couldn’t this time. “Oh,” he glared back. “‘ _We’_ as in not Kolivan?”

Lance hesitated a moment, taken aback, before his glare returned. “Okay. Yeah. _Fine_. Not Kolivan.”

“I _knew_ you had a problem with him,” Keith snapped, angrier at him for _admitting_ it. “Well guess what? It’s not your problem to have, Lance! I finally, _finally_ get to know where I came from and who I _am_! What am I supposed to do? Not care about that?!”

“Oh, my God, Keith, _of course_ I want you to care about that!” Lance stressed, hands coming up to fist in his hair. “But can’t you care about us, too?! We didn’t used to have to vie for your attention!”

“You’re not _acting_ like you want me to care about it!”

“Well, if you could learn to balance things better instead of mindlessly jumping, one-hundred percent into every little thing that happens to you–!”

”You’re acting like you want me to pick a side because you’re jealous of me spending any of my time with anyone that isn’t _you_!” He regretted it the moment it was past his lips. He regretted it even more when Lance’s face fell, all the anger in his face replaced by sadness and disappointment, and Keith held his breath, afraid to speak and make it all even worse. Lance beat him to it.

“Keith, I _love_ you,” Lance said after a long, painful silence. It was only the second time he had allowed himself to say it, but Keith didn’t want to remember this one. “That’s why I’m holding out for you, even if we can’t really be together. Because I really don’t want anyone else. I only want you. And if that’s coming across like some kind of petty jealousy, then I’m sorry. I really don’t want that. But maybe you should take some time and make sure what you really want is me.”

The breath Keith exhaled hurt as he watched Lance turn toward the doors. “Lance, you _know_ I want you.”

Lance didn’t wait. He walked through the doors and didn’t look back. Keith couldn’t wait either. Kolivan had been in the middle of teaching him some new evasive maneuvers before the alarm had gone off. He needed practice more than he needed the distraction of worrying about something that needed breathing room.

As he fought the droids, he found it difficult to focus. The droid took a low swing at his left side, and Keith tried evading the way Kolivan taught him and barely scraped past.

Before, it had always just been what they did, but now, he hated it when they fought. Before, their fighting had been the start of something. Now….

He started as the droid followed with a strong kick he barely dodged. He caught his balance, and when the droid took another low swing at his left side, he tried to evade again, but drastically miscalculated. The blow to his skull was deafening, left his ears ringing and his teeth clenched, and he crumpled to the floor in a balled-up heap as the droid stopped and the pain reverberated.

Then another feeling eclipsed it.

He felt like he was swimming and he knew something was wrong as he tried to stand on a floor that wouldn’t come into focus. His ears rang and rang, hurting somewhere in the center of his skull that made him panic that something was _happening_.

The floor beneath him leaned and turned and just about fell out from under him on the way to his room. He held his head as it throbbed and _throbbed_ , and he _felt_ –

_Oh God._

Then it was over. His bedroom door slid shut behind him as the pain _stopped_. He froze, waiting for it to come back, but it never did. He couldn’t drop his hands from his head, couldn’t stop _feeling_ –

He shook his head. He knew what it was in his mind. He thought this couldn’t be happening.

A long look in his bathroom mirror confirmed that it was.

 _Galra physiology shifts to accommodate the needs of the body_.

His eyes were yellow. Not the pupil, the _sclera_. His pupils were nowhere to be found. And atop his head sat two, large, fluffy, purple _ears_. Like Kolivan’s. Like a _Galra_. He shook his head and they moved with the motion. He touched them, jumped when he _felt the sensation_ – those were _his ears_.

Why was this happening now? He had never looked like a Galra before. His skin wasn’t even _purple_ and how was he to know what that _meant_? What was he supposed to do? He couldn’t bring himself to face Allura like this, not when she was still getting used to him again. He couldn’t face Kolivan, not while he was horrified at looking like a Galra.

And Lance….

Lance was out of the question. Everyone was.

Reluctantly, he left the bathroom. He curled up in his bed with the jacket Lance had left there days ago. It still smelled like him. He tried not to think about why the scent comforted him now more than it would usually.

His eyes snapped open. It had been hours and hours, he somehow knew. Nothing in his appearance had changed, he noted disappointedly as he consulted his bathroom mirror. His eyes held the faint outlines of white pupils. His saw his ears droop to the sides in his sadness, then perk up as he heard something.

Footsteps.

_No._

The knock sounded when he no longer heard the footsteps and Keith whipped around to stare at the door. He could hear with startling accuracy the way Lance sighed and fidgeted as he waited out there. The way he shifted from foot to foot before he knocked again.

Keith edged out of the bathroom.

“You know, I was hoping that if I kept knocking, you would eventually just answer. I feel like the chances of that have just lowered significantly now that you know it’s me.”

Keith hated the huge leap his heart made at the sound of Lance’s voice. He could hear it differently with these ears. He could hear the tone, but now the _layers_. He could hear the nervousness, but he also heard a desperation that matched his own.

“I know this is familiar,” Lance chuckled weakly, as Keith felt himself being pulled toward the door. “But I just wanna know if you’re okay? We haven’t seen you since some time yesterday. No one’s seen you, I’ve asked. And that’s unusual.”

Keith sat on the floor against the wall, as close as he could get to Lance without letting him in and listened – tried to imagine another world where things were normal and he was fully human. A world where he and Lance could just _have_ each other.

“I mean,” Lance continued, after it became evident that Keith wasn’t going to open the door. Keith heard him slide down the wall, heard his hair ruffle against the wall. “I guess I know you’re not okay. I know something had to have happened because you wouldn’t just… keep yourself away from me like this. Not where I can’t even see you in passing to know you’re alright. Even if we are technically in a fight.”

 _Technically_ , Keith rolled his eyes, laying his head against his knees.

“You’re isolating yourself again,” Lance sighed. “And the last time was really serious, and it worked out that time, but I don’t want to literally force open your door again. I don’t want to push your boundaries. So, please just say something. Tell me you’re alright and I’ll trust you. I’ll leave you alone and I won’t say anything to anyone. Not even Shiro. But I’m not going until you say something.”

Keith was going to lose it if he spoke. Lance knew that. And he sounded so hopeless and dejected on the other side of the door and Keith… loved him.

He clenched his fists against the floor. “I’m alright,” Keith said hoarsely, voice dry and weak from limited use over the last day.

“He _lives_ ,” Lance crowed, though it was weak. “I – _Good_. Do you need anything? I can get you food? Or Shiro? I can go kick someone’s ass if it’ll make you feel better? I’ll kick my own ass if this is my fault.”

Thoughtlessly, Keith banged his head again and again against his knees like that might stop the guilt. Reluctantly, he pulled Lance’s hood up over his head, over the top of his face, eyes hidden, then he opened his door.

“I’m alright,” Keith repeated. He tried for a smile he knew was falling flat. He kept his gaze down. “And ass-kicking is supposed to be my job.”

Softly, Lance chuckled out a relieved: “Okay,” as he shuffled past Keith into the room. It was like it hurt Lance to look at him. Keith bundled further in on himself. “You’re not alright,” Lance uttered. “Holy shit.”

He closed the gap between them and jerked Keith into his arms.

“I’m used to seeing you angry, Keith, but never this sad,” he admitted, pulling back to peer into Keith’s eyes, but the hood hid them.

Lance’s hands moved up from around his middle to his face, cupping his cheeks. Keith half instinctually leaned into it, and half tried to pull away all while Lance’s fingers crawled further up, then froze.

The same way Keith froze. He couldn’t look as Lance quickly removed the hood from Keith’s head. He felt his eyes darting around his face. “Oh, _Keith_ ….”

“I _didn’t_ –” Keith stammered, looking up, then quickly back down at the face Lance made from the eye contact. He fumbled to get the hood back up, stepped back. “I’m _sorry_! I _look_ –!”

“Keith, let me see,” Lance insisted, stepping forward to remove the hood again. This time, Keith didn’t have it in him protest. “Look at me,” he coaxed softly. He waited until Keith brought reluctant eyes up to his. He trailed his thumbs softly underneath glowing orbs. “This is why you’ve been hiding? Not because of what I said?”

“I couldn’t face anyone; I didn’t want to scare them,” Keith sighed out, guilty. “And you didn’t want to talk to me.”

“Keith, I always want to talk to you, that’s why we’re in this mess,” Lance laughed out, sheepishly, breathlessly. “You… don’t want to break up?”

“ _No_ ,” Keith said, too quick, too desperate. “Listen you were right about me. I was being _Galra_ -Keith instead of just being Keith. Most importantly, _your_ Keith. Lance, of course you’re what I want, you idiot.”

“You’re all one Keith, baby,” Lance reminded him, grinning at _his_ Keith as he dropped his hands.

“Yeah, that’s really evident right now,” Keith muttered, flushing at Lance’s favorite, most effective term of endearment. “And I guess it makes sense. I’ve been spending so much time with the Blade. I’ve never looked Galra before that I know of. I hit my head hard enough that I should have had a concussion, but my body decided to protect itself.”

“Wait, you hit your head? When did you hurt yourself?”

“I went to the training deck after we fought, I shouldn’t have been practicing without Kolivan but that’s not the point–”

“Keith, you’ve been stranded in here alone since _then_?!” Lance stressed. “What if you were really hurt? You should have said something–”

“Are you really not going to freak out about how I look?!”

Lance’s face did something strange Keith wasn’t entirely sure he’d ever seen before. It was the first time Keith had seen him trying to withhold an emotion before he finally gave up. “Of course, I’m freaking out, you’re _adorable_.”

“I–” Keith blinked rapidly, felt his ears move in his shock. “I’m _what_?”

“Okay, it’s becoming clear to me that you didn’t know this,” Lance started, hesitantly like he couldn’t find the words. A smile curved his face – cocky and sure like in the days of Lance’s most innocent flirting. “But you’re the cutest fucking thing I’ve ever seen right now, _kitten_.”

“ _No_ ,” Keith ordered, pressing his palm against Lance’s face. “ _Never_.”

“Oh, come on now, _kitty cat_ ,” Lance grinned, infectious enough to have Keith grinning involuntarily right back. He reached out and snagged Keith around the waist when he made to back away. One hand traced up his face to scratch at one of his ears and Keith became a puddle of goo. “Are you _purring_?”

_“Oh, my God, I’m purring?!”_

Lance’s laugh, infuriatingly gleeful, rang out in layers against Keith’s ears as he began to scratch a little faster. “I’m gonna be entirely honest with you, babe,” he cooed as Keith accept defeat and leaned against his head against his shoulder, “I love this.”

“God–” great, there it was, there was the purring, “–I keep thinking one day something about me is going to run you off, but you can just run with anything, can’t you?”

“You can’t do everything alone,” Lance answered, leaning his head over Keith’s. “This is _nothing_ compared to how fucking worried I was about you. I swear to God, you’re not going to scare me off. You could grow another head and I’d probably be like ‘two pairs of lips on Christmas.’”

“ _Gross_ ,” Keith scoffed against Lance’s shoulder. “And, fuck, don’t jinx me.”

Lance leaned back, blue eyes meeting glowing yellow as he gave Keith’s ear one last scratch. “Alright, Keithy-Kat. I’m going to go get Kolivan so he can help you. And if it’s okay, I want to stay and help you, too.”

“ _Lance_ ,” Keith scoffed, at the pet name, at the suggestion, at _all_ of it. It sounded utterly ridiculous – Lance taking every strange little thing about him this well. But something inside Keith didn’t care. “Okay,” he decided. Feeling ten different kinds of relief, he leaned back in against Lance’s shoulder as Lance’s arms wound around his middle. “God, are you crazy, or just dumb?”

“For you?” Lance started, half cocky, half heart-achingly genuine. “Both.”

*

“You’re really going to take me,” Shiro sighed, long and hard-suffering, “on a tour of your entire house.”

“Yeah, buckle in, bro, we’ll start here,” Keith deadpanned. He angled his screen to capture a better view over his shoulder and still keep his blank expression in frame. “That’s the front door.”

“Keith, you could _at least_ –”

“Those are some windows,” Keith continued. He angled his screen higher over his shoulder. “That’s Lance’s cactus.” Lance glared at him from the window at the incorrect classification. Keith fondly rolled his eyes.

“Why are you like this?” Shiro lamented.

“Well, actually, he says she’s a _succulent_ , and her name is Trudy,” Keith amended.

“I can give you a better video tour if you want,” Lance offered, coming to stand over Keith’s shoulder. “I’ll show you, like, actual rooms and stuff. Maybe the neighborhood or the view from our bedroom window? You know, _good_ stuff?” He cut a smug glance at his boyfriend who scoffed back.

“I appreciate the offer, Lance,” Shiro smiled, “but I feel like I should encourage Keith’s behavior since he actually reached out to me to do this.”

“For that, I’m gonna show you the tub.”

“Keith, if you’re not going to show your brother our new love shack the right way, then I will,” Lance warned.

“Never call it that again,” Keith cringed on his retreat down the hall. “We don’t have any furniture yet,” Keith told Shiro, ignoring the teasing look on his face, “but we put sleeping bags in our room. Lance thinks it’ll be like camping.” Camping under the glow-in-the-dark ceiling stars Keith had insisted they buy more of.

“I’ll tell ghost stories,” Lance chirped, pressing his lips to the side of Keith face as he shimmied past in the hallway.

“What are you doing?” Keith called after him.

“Unpacking,” Lance answered, not turning around.

“We have one box, Lance,” Keith puzzled, then turned back to Shiro at the sound of his cooing. “What?”

“You two are so gross,” Shiro smiled fondly. “It’s nice.”

“How’s the wedding planning going?” Keith retorted smugly.

Shiro rolled his eyes fondly at his brother’s antics. “Great. It’s going to be very sparkly. Coran’s going to officiate again.”

“At least you get to dance with her at this wedding,” Keith sneered.

“Yeah, and you can actually kiss Lance.”

Keith glared. “And Pidge can drink.”

“You know, I’m glad we don’t have any family for you guys to embarrass me in front of,” Shiro murmured, “now that you say that.”

“Lance has enough family for all of us,” Keith nodded. “The lady for the book keeps asking me questions about Lance’s mom like she wants me to have some stressed-out relationship with her since she just got her son back and he’s got a significant other. It’s ridiculous. She wants to paint us like these… star-crossed heroes turned soulmates with the ‘ _same problems as everybody else_.’ And Lance keeps talking to her alone,” he divulged loud and petty. “He goes to another room when she calls.”

“All good things!” Lance called back from the kitchen.

“But she paid us,” Keith continued, rolling his eyes, “and with that and the hero-reward-money, we bought a fucking house, so I’m fine with a little embellishment, I guess.”

“Yeah, I get it,” Shiro nodded as Lance emerged from the kitchen. “Priscilla just wants me to talk about how every fight I fought in space, I fought for Allura. It makes me feel weird that everyone seems to care more about our relationships than what’s out there.”

“Exactly. But I can’t say I’m surprised. Earth only cares about ‘love and soulmates.’ It’s the difference between humans and other life forms.”

“But,” Shiro started tauntingly, “you know Lance totally thinks your soulmates, right?”

He felt the smile curve up his face before he could stop it. “Somehow, I like to think we are, too.”

“Aw _, babe_ ,” Lance cooed, pressing his lips to Keith’s face again as he shimmied by.

His hand made firm contact with Keith’s backside as he made it past and he let out a peel of laughter as Keith yelped in surprise and slapped back in retaliation. “To the tub,” Keith decided as Shiro scoffed. Keith continued down the hallway into the downstairs bathroom, then climbed into the tub.

“Okay, we’re really getting in the tub, you’re not even going to show me the room, okay,” Shiro nodded, expression all too unimpressed.

“Can’t imagine why you’d wanna see that,” Keith shrugged.

“Alright, after we’re done catching up, I’m gonna take Lance up on his offer,” Shiro decided.

“Good luck getting to him,” Keith laughed, slouching down more comfortably against clean, white porcelain.

Slowly, Shiro cracked his own smile. “You look really happy, Keith.”

Keith paused, taken aback as he took it all in – his new house, his new _downstairs_ bathroom in the house that he now _owned_ , bigger than any other house he’d ever been in, with _Lance_. Not a piece of furniture in sight until tomorrow, but plenty of glow-in-the-dark ceiling stars, two sleeping bags Lance insisted on zipping together into one, and a Sharknado poster Keith had had to fight very hard for Lance to keep. “I am,” Keith told him, involuntary grin hurting his cheeks.

“It shows,” Shiro’s smile turned smug. “Allura and I got a call from Pidge about this really interesting article about you online…?”

“Oh, my _God_ ,” Keith groaned, hiking his shirt higher up his neck just in case. “I really should have known she’d find it. Lance fucking _framed_ it. It’s in our room next to his dumb Sharknado poster so we’re both ashamed.”

“Hey, you should be happy,” Shiro tried, straight face wobbling. “Wouldn’t you rather people be talking about you and the thirty-seven hickeys on your neck instead of about how your boyfriend and his family are illegal aliens?”

“Yeah, someone out there did us a favor,” Keith sighed. “I’d kick Lance’s ass for the hickeys but getting mad just encourages him.”

“Anything encourages him.”

“He’s the worst,” Keith smiled involuntarily, “I love him.” Shiro smirked and opened his mouth. “Shut up,” Keith snapped, climbing out of the tub. “Gonna show you the stairs, now.”

“I wasn’t going to say anything, I’m just,” Shiro shrugged, sent his most genuine smile, “really, really happy for you.”

Keith smiled back. “Thanks. I’m happy for you and Allura, too.” He sighed, shutting off the bathroom light on his way out. “So, how was the trip to the grave?” He asked as he took to the stairs.

“Oh,” Shiro blinked. “Well, fine, I guess. I just wanted to pay my respects. Allura and Coran were really comforting. I don’t know it gave me some closure, I don’t regret it. I’ll probably go back again in a few months. You can come with me, if you want,” he offered.

“No,” Keith shook his head immediately. “I’m not there yet. Maybe someday, but not any time soon. I would have liked to see you and Allura and Coran, though.”

“Yeah, I was hoping that would have won you over,” Shiro admitted sheepishly.

“Nice try,” Keith smiled knowingly. “I do miss you. I got used to seeing you guys every day for nine years. I love finally being able to have Lance to myself, but it’s been a month without you guys and we miss you.”

“We miss you guys, too,” Shiro smiled back as Keith opened up their empty hallway closet to show him. Shiro rolled his eyes. “It’s so quiet without Lance around.”

“Lance wants you guys to come out here next Christmas,” Keith divulged. “But we’ll all get together before then, right?” He asked. Hearing Lance jog up the stairs behind him, he stepped to the side against the wall so Lance could get by.

“Oh, I’m sure we’ll all be back together soon enough,” Shiro said, a wink in his voice he may or may not have intended. “Definitely before next Christmas.” Oh, Shiro _knew_ something. “Right?”

Keith tilted his head. “What are you–?”

“ _Right_ ,” Lance interrupted, hand swinging down to slap Keith’s backside on his way into their room.

“ _Stop it_ ,” Keith fake-glared at his boyfriend’s retreating backside.

Lance turned to smirk at him over his shoulder, leaning cocky and knowing like a fox against their doorframe. He quirked an impatient eyebrow as Keith stared, helpless and angry about it. “ _Make me_.” Fighting words.

“This is how you keep getting the hickeys, Keith.” Shiro teased. Keith turned off his screen and walked toward his dumb, stupid boyfriend.

“He’s right you know,” Lance chuckled, as Keith’s fingers tangled into his hair. “I’m gonna cover the walls with framed articles about you.”

Keith knew that, but it hadn’t stopped him yet.

*

Allura, Shiro, the Blade, and Matt’s plan of action against the Galra Empire had been a risky one, but majorly effective. With Pidge’s help and calculated planning, they began slowly but surely destroying their quintessence supply. Pidge was able to keep a close eye on the planets the Galra extracted it from and Voltron was able to stop them nearly every time.

According to Pidge’s calculations, the Galra ship should have been out of quintessence but for some reason, the ship was still at large. Pidge, Allura, and Coran had another theory, but for that, they would need to get back on the ship.

Though, with the secret looks and talks Pidge and Matt shared, Keith knew there had to be something else they were up to. He had the thought that maybe he should have said something, but he was no better.

Keith was through with systematic. He was going to kill Lotor, himself.

He didn’t know which of their plans would actually work, but he did know they were all scared. This was, undoubtedly, the end. They could win after all this time, effort, and stress, or they could die and it all would have been for nothing.

They had already lost Antok and Ulaz early, early on. They had been lucky enough not to lose any more members of the Blade, but what if this time it was Kolivan?

Keith could mess up, or Pidge could be captured. Lance and Hunk could be killed and never see their homes again, Shiro could freak out – anything could happen. He tried his damnest not to think that way, but anything _could_ happen. These people who had become his family – he could lose them.

They didn’t usually, but this time, this battle, the paladins fell into a group embrace before charging out. It was down to this – down to their surprise attack, down to the next unpredictable course of events. Allura gave them their orders, then they were running out to their lions.

Keith let the others rush past, then reached his arm out to stop Lance.

Lance jerked at Keith’s hold, turning wide, frantic eyes down onto him. “ _Keith_ ,” he wheezed out, bringing his hands up to pat at Keith’s armored shoulders as if Keith was the one who needed consoling. “Buddy, we don't – we don’t have _time_ , we have to–!”

Keith cupped his face and pulled him down, kissed him so deep he felt Lance sigh against him, so deep he felt like they could both go under. He rested his forehead softly against Lance’s as he pulled away, breathing hard. “You have to live,” he whispered desperately. “I mean, you all have to, but _you_ –”

Lance swooped back down, kissed Keith just as hard, holding him as close as he could, then pulled back, pressing their foreheads back together. “You too,” he whispered back.

Keith nodded against him, then pulled Lance behind him as they ran on to the hangar, catching up with the rest of the Paladins.

He wasn’t going to lose them. He saw Lance’s eyes linger on him on his way into Blue. He felt Red come to life for him and give him a reassuring hum, and he knew he would not lose them.

He had too many future plans involving them to lose them.

*

“Hey, Keith.”

Keith’s eyes snapped open, picked up counting glowing ceiling stars. “Hey.”

“Hey, can you sleep?”

Keith blinked, looked over to his right where Lance was on his side, looking right back at him, stretched out awkwardly across their mattress. “No.” It had been a long, busy day of dealing with Khris for the book, but at least getting to video chat Pidge between the boring bits of it. Lance had talked to Khris first, then went to visit his family for a bit while Keith called Shiro again. All of it had left them both strangely wired. “Was I keeping you up?”

“No, just restless, I think,” Lance smiled softly. “Wanna go for a walk?”

Keith snickered. “It’s like, two a.m.”

“Yeah, best time for walks,” Lance nodded, grinning. “You’d kick anyone’s ass who’d fuck with us, anyway.”

Keith smiled, “We can go to the beach,” he offered. With all the fast-paced activity of getting settled back in on Earth, and as heroes, no less, they’d hardly had time to sleep, much less sight-see. “You never showed me.”

“Oh, you wanna go now?” Lance asked, expression touched, but voice hesitant. “I was going to take you this weekend and spend the whole day there with you.”

“It’s not that far,” Keith pressed, touched at his boyfriend’s thoughtfulness. “We can go twice.”

“We can,” Lance agreed, pushing the blankets off himself.

Veradero Beach was only about five minutes away by car, even though Lance always drove impossibly slowly, trying to be careful. He drove with the windows down and his arm out the side like an idiot and Keith was terrified that one day he’s was going to hit something and lose his arm.

“Hey, there are people here,” Keith commented as Lance parked. There weren’t very many, but people nonetheless, spread out along the sand, some coupled off walking along the water, others huddled up in groups in the sand.

“Yeah, people were always here,” Lance nodded, “this is, like, the best beach.”

Keith thought, as they left their shoes in the car to continue barefoot, that beach sand was very different to desert sand. Desert sand tended to be finer – lighter and easier for the wind to carry into unsuspecting eyes. Beach sand was heavy, obviously thicker, some of it wetter and mixed with bigger rocks and sea shells. Though it went pale in the moonlight, just like in the desert, comfortingly familiar.

“So, this is it,” Keith sighed. “This is a real beach, just like the movies and everything.” He did like it. He liked the way the air smelled and that he didn’t have to wear shoes. He liked the idea that there was something he could get close to that was this big and uncontrollable. That he’d probably never understand all of it. It was big and vast, and made him miss Red. “So, let’s hear it. What makes this the best beach?”

“Well, I’m glad you asked,” Lance beamed, voice loud like an announcement as he pulled Keith closer toward the water. “First of all, it’s _my_ beach, so automatically the best.”

“Sure,” Keith nodded, deadpan.

“Second of all, so much happens here!” Lance continued excitedly. “And so much has already happened here. Every birthday I’ve ever had, nearly every date. Well, the good ones.”

“So, all two?”

“ _Three_ ,” Lance winked, eyes thoughtful as he proudly squeezed Keith’s hand.

“I’m one of the good dates,” Keith echoed, eyes rolling, but smile soft and fond.

“Eh, arguably the best date,” Lance nodded, with that stupid _threading-the-needle_ look on his face. Keith stood beside him where he stopped at the shoreline, decided that he really liked the sea water rushing up his ankles. “So, me and my siblings would spend all day out here. Our skin was, like, always peeling. I could hold my breath for like _three minutes_.”

“I absolutely do not believe you.”

“I’ll show you this weekend,” Lance smirked, bumping their shoulders together.

“Fine.” Keith smiled back and Lance’s smirk went soft and fond and served to make Keith smile wider.

Keith would do anything for Lance. Whether it be putting up with perpetual hickeys where people could see them, or laughing way too late into the night as Lance came up with names and stories for each of their glowing ceiling stars. He’d gladly adopt all the stray cats Lance cooed at around their neighborhood, or go out on impromptu dates in the middle of the night – whatever it was Lance wanted, he’d do it.

“Yeah, we’ll just do that all day,” Keith smiled. Lance’s eyes had been enigmatic and thoughtful all night, something weighing on his mind. Keith’s job was to anchor him. “See how long it takes for me or my boyfriend to fucking drown in the ocean–”

“Keith, you wanna get married?”

“What?”

Lance turned to face him, meeting Keith’s wide-eyed eyed stare with that same, loving, fond smile he’d been wearing all night. “I was – I was going to ask you this weekend. I was going to bring you here and go down the list of all the things we’ve been through together and really blow you away. I hired a photographer and I was going to stand right here with you at sunset and ask you; talk about how we’re great together at everything else, we might as well knock out ‘ _husbands_.’ And who knows? Maybe I still will do all that, but my mom always told me to… go with what’s natural. And you came out here at two in the morning to my favorite place just to be with me. I said I’m gonna come out here this weekend and hold my breath as long as I can in the fucking ocean and you say you’re going to do it too and, _fuck_ , you’re perfect for me, Keith.”

“You’re perfect for me, too,” Keith said as Lance continued to _smile_ at him like the big, beautiful, bright moon wasn’t just to the left of them, like Keith was the biggest and brightest thing in Lance’s sky. Keith only hoped Lance _knew_ that Keith saw bursting stars and constellations when he looked at him.

“Good,” Lance nodded. “So, what do you say, Keith?” He asked, like somehow, after all this, he had reason to _doubt_. “You wanna get–?”

“Yeah,” Keith nodded, serious and impatient.

“–married?” Lance laughed out, dropping Keith’s hand to wind his arms around him and pull him close.

“ _Yeah_ ,” Keith laughed back and pushed their lips together like he was dying for it. And Lance only kept up for so long, grin widening until the kiss was nothing but the two of them laughing softly as their foreheads pressed together.

“Your ring is back at the house,” Lance said, leaning back. “Shiro said the paparazzi’s gonna go wild about it.” Keith sighed, glad to finally understand why Shiro had been acting so _weird_ the last few weeks. “Might even overshadow any hickey pics for a few weeks – having a fiancé,” Lance hinted, eyebrows wiggling up and down.

“Is this you being thoughtful?” Keith challenged playfully.

“I am _always_ thoughtful,” Lance smirked. “Fiancé Lance is the most thoughtful of all.”

Keith grinned, “Shut up.” Hands moving up to tangle in Lance’s hair, he brought their lips back together, again and again. Lance – _his fiancé_ – kissed him back like he was better than air and Keith melted.

*

Roughly one minute after the paladins made it back to the castleship, seconds after docking the lions in their hangars, moments after climbing down and getting their feet back onto familiar floors, it all truly set in.

Pidge took off out of her hangar, headed for her father and Matt, Shiro right behind her. Keith felt Lance’s gaze and turned to face him when Hunk barreled into them, ushering them along. “Come on!” He shouted, charging full speed ahead. Lance shrugged, emitted a low peal of laughter that made Keith join in as they ran ahead to the control room.

Lance was yelling and shouting at the top of his lungs a mixture of English and literal unintelligible nonsense that made Keith want to cover his ears but the jumbling inside him was just as excited, just as loud, just as _happy_. Lance nudged him, jostling him since he couldn't stop moving. He gave Keith his widest grin, mouth split so wide Keith could count his teeth if he wanted.

“Guys, get in here!” Hunk shouted. He reached out, dropped heavy hands onto their shoulders as he steered everyone together until they were one large, emotionally-charged conglomerate of limbs. Just this once, Keith didn't mind being huddled like this, squished right up between Pidge and Coran, nearly forced into Lance and Hunk’s faces.

“I’m glad we all made it,” Shiro sighed in relief. Keith felt him squeeze down harder on his shoulder. “I can't believe we all made it.”

“Thanks to Lance, right?” Hunk added, the smile obvious in his voice, though Keith couldn't move his head enough to see him. “Took the single shot that saved the entire universe like it meant nothing to him,” he chuckled.

“Our sharpshooter,” Keith murmured, locking eyes with him over Pidge’s shoulder.

Lance positively _beamed_ , then he shook his head, as if dispelling that notion for later. “I wish we had known that sooner!” He turned piercing blue eyes and a teasing grin down onto their smallest paladin. “ _Pidge_.”

“ _Hey_! Like I said, I thought, at most, she’d be the last step in a long series of work and planning, and _pain_ , not that we’d take her out and the whole operation would go down with her!” Pidge exclaimed, sounding amused. “Besides, I had some other things on my mind, right? Trying to locate my fucking family, thank you very much.”

Keith felt her elbow then – small and _pointy –_ jab him in the ribs and he was sure she inadvertently assaulted just about everyone else as she scurried out from between them all, causing the embrace to disband.

“Wait,” Matt spoke up, “so what’s the plan about the prisoners?”

“We’re going to take them back to their home planets,” Allura responded as Kolivan nodded beside her. “The good news is that if their planets had been overrun by the Galra before, it isn't any longer. We’ve got them in the cryopods for now, but once they wake up, we can begin delivering them back to their families.”

“Well, Allura,” Lance drawled out, blue eyes jumping from face to face, then landing on Keith’s. Keith drummed his fingers against his thigh. “I would say your father and Altea have successfully been avenged.”

All the while he spoke, Keith saw him edge closer and closer to him. Keith’s insides were a frenzy. He quickly gave up trying to pretend he somehow didn’t look like it, that somehow, Lance wouldn’t already know.

He barely caught Allura say that they could all go home, but he saw when Lance did.

“No, no, wait, hold up, hold on there,” Hunk chimed in, bold, but hesitant. “Do you think, now that this is all over, that there’s a chance we could go home?”

“Yeah,” Lance chimed in on a sigh, a tad louder than he probably meant to, and Keith couldn't unhear it.

It was hard – always had been hard, not to pay attention to him, but he only had to do it for a little while longer. They had all just defeated the Galra Empire, after all, and if that wasn’t enough for Keith to chew on for the next couple of hours, Keith didn’t know what _was_.

“Okay, maybe it’s because this has been a nine-year deal,” Lance was saying, “but is there any way we can officially, like, do some kind of scan to make sure the Galra are really _done_ , done?”

“They’re toast, Lance,” Hunk supplied, nice and apparently far too easy-going for the Blue Paladin’s liking. “Coran’s right, let’s just take it easy for now.”

“But are we _sure_?” Lance shook his head, remaining adamant as Hunk groaned. Pidge frowned.

“We saw them all either lying dead or disintegrated into _dust_ ,” she reminded him, half amused, half annoyed. “Can't that tide you over for at least a few days while we catch a fucking breath?”

“I don't want to be caught off-guard by anything,” Lance insisted. His gaze shifted back and forth between Keith and the windows; and half of Keith wanted to smile, the other half wanted to tell him to stop being so obvious.

It was different to think anything and not also be thinking, at their back of their minds, about defeating the Galra. It was surreal to be standing on the castleship knowing that the threat was handled and that at least for now, the universe didn't need them.

“Look, I _promise you_ ,” Pidge insisted, a little impatient, a little amused, “the only Galra left are the Galra on this ship and we all agreed we want them here.”

“ _Kolivan_!” Lance shouted, a smile spreading across his face. “Are we sure this thing is over?!”

Kolivan started, startled from his conversation with Shiro. He turned to Lance, surprise turning to amused reassurance. “Yes, Blue Paladin, there is no need to worry.”

Keith new his stoic façade was cracking the more Lance glanced back at him, but he was steadily losing his incentive to care. Maybe it should have been him demanding to know of ways they could be sure of the eradication of the Galra threat. Perhaps under different circumstances, it would have been, but at this moment, he didn't have it in him. At this moment, he didn’t want to think about anything other than how things were only going to get _better_ from here.

Lance turned toward him, grinning, and Keith knew he wasn’t doing any better. He couldn’t stop his fingers tapping impatiently against his thigh as Lance walked a line straight to him, then gripped him by the shoulder to continue past with him in tow.

Keith nearly tripped, being pulled along backwards and Lance wasn’t stopping, even as the others took notice. “Lance?” He demanded. Lance turned over his shoulder, smiled down at Keith, then addressed the room.

 _“Do not_ speak _to us until we hit the milky way! I cannot stress enough! We’re not stopping, you’re just gonna see some things!”_

Lance dragged him out just in time for Keith to see all their friends blanch in uniform understanding. Chuckling, he twisted out of Lance’s grip to keep up on his own. It hit him in a way that should have been painfully obvious the entire time, that Lance was entirely serious. It made him laugh a little harder despite the circumstances. A public relationship with Lance was going to be full of mortifyingly public displays like that from here on out and Keith kind of couldn’t wait.

“You always gonna be this embarrassing from now on?” Keith asked, trying to school his expression into something more reprimanding, though it was hard now that Lance had exchanged the collar of his uniform for his hand.

“Oh, you don’t even know the half of it,” Lance responded, bold and confident as they turned a corner and he crowded Keith against wall. Their rooms were _just right there_ , and Keith thought they were _so close_. But then Lance was giving him _the smolder_ and he thought this was good, too.

“Well then, tell me,” Keith cleared his throat, and he _smiled_. There was finally nothing stopping him from being able to have Lance so close to him. “Tell me the rest of it.”

“Well, the rest of it happens once we get on the other side of that door,” Lance smirked jerking his head back gently in the direction of his room. “But the half of it is,” he leaned in and kissed Keith’s cheek so softly, he hardly felt it. He leaned back, nose to nose. “I’m gonna embarrass you all the time, because I’m never gonna shut up about you. Anywhere else we ever go,” he smiled wider, “just get ready ‘cause I’m gonna be talking about you.”

Their noses bumped and Keith saw Lance smile right when he did.

“God help the person who stupidly asks me how my day is going because I’m gonna tell them all about you.” He sighed, content and happy and perfect and Keith felt his heart in his throat, felt his face heating up, knew that he couldn’t hide it from Lance this time, and for once he didn't want to. “I’ll never stop being over the moon about my incredible _,_ amazing, beautiful boyfriend.”

“Uhm,” Keith garbled out. “ _You_ –!” Keith felt whatever he was about to say turn into complete and total gibberish in his mouth when Lance ducked down to kiss his jaw.

“Emphasis on ‘beautiful,’” Lance continued, moving down to the side of his neck, and Keith felt his tongue, wet and warm demanding and insistent. Lance _wanted_ him and Keith bit his lip against a grin. “Extra emphasis on ‘ _boyfriend_.’” And he bit down.

And Keith melted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading this! Hope it was as enjoyable to read as it was to write?  
> Leave me a comment?

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading! I hope you enjoyed this?  
> Please leave me comments, they help me grow as a writer and I would love to talk to you! Tell me you favorite parts, least favorite parts - anything at all, just talk to me to make my day~  
> You can scream at me on Tumblr: [scream at me or whatever](https://ambitiousskychild.tumblr.com/)


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